23 year old male virgin who has never had a girlfriend, am I a loser?

I'm a 23 year old male virgin who has never even kissed a girl. This fact really gets me down and at times I feel completely useless. I'm worried that if a girl ever found out I was a virgin at 23, she would probably think I'm a complete loser. What do you think?
0 4

Most Helpful Girls

  • No way!

    My current boyfriend was a virgin last year at the age of 23. He had six girlfriends and was still a virgin. Mainly because he was born and raised in an Islamic country that looks down on premarital sex. He got drunk one night and lost his virginity to a promiscuous girl who ended up sleeping with his friend the next week. Little did he know, one year later he would have met me :) We met at work. I am a 20 year old virgin, model, and generous to a fault. Our chemistry was instant. Life even felt better when he was in my presence even if we weren't talking to each other, but I knew he was in the room. We are both equally selfless and love to please and pamper each other with massages and all kinds of delightful tender affection. He told me he's never had a girlfriend who actually gives as much as he was willing to give them. He also said that he regretted giving away his virginity to "some slut he didn't even care about" and he should have saved it. I get the impression that deep down, he wishes he would have saved it for me.

    Anyway, being 23 and a virgin male does not make you a loser. I think it's noble and very admirable because so many guys go out and have sex just to fit in, feel accepted, or because they simply lack self-control. Think of it this way; you have elimitated your risks of STD's and unprepared, unplanned pregnancy. You have not had to cut off your youth because sexuality got in the way and made you grow up early. And THE RIGHT GIRL will feel so special that she gets to share that experience with you.

  • I think whoever told you that, or whatever has put that idea in your head, -they're/that is the loser. Just because majority of people and society has become so run down and lost all sight of morals and "boundaries" so to speak, doesn't mean its not OK to be a virgin or to have never kissed a girl. In fact, its perfectly OK that you haven't. There are many many beautiful and respectful girls out there that would high five you and love to give you the time of day, any day. People generally that are out sleeping around or hooking up, whatever, they're often times not as happy as they may seem...and in a way even kinda feel the way you do, except opposite. They think all they have to offer is a physical relationship because they don't know how to have an emotional one. Its not very hard to know if you can care for something, or if you have a heart, if you do...take pride in that and confidence and with that will come something more than a kiss or just jumping in bed with someone.

  • No your not I'm 18 and I'm still a virgin - do I see myself as a loser? No - I pride myself on the fact - even if it wasn't for my religious beliefs and my ideology I stillll would save myself for Mr Right. As a young woman it makes me feel closer to the Holy Virgin Mary - I'll nowhere near be as pious as her but it makes me proud like her I'm a virgin. What I'm trying to say to you and the others out there who are virgins-be proud of the fact not ashamed. There are not many virgins out there-take Richard Branson for example why did his boutique in London close down-opeoa bridal outfit store named Virgin Brides - irony lol not many brides are virgins. I'm rambling lpl - at least I got the point across?

    That's what your doing subconsciously saving yourself for Miss Right. Don't lose it under pressure or on a sudden whim. Avoid temptation. As a woman I can tell you like men want a virgin wife/companion us women want a man who is a virgin.

Most Helpful Guys

  • First, accept it's not women but you that is the problem. If you don't accept control over your situation then you'll never have the power to change it. Second, do not wait around for the right girl to fall into your lap... if you do you're going to be so oblivious to the situation that she's going to slip right through your finger tips.

    Lastly... this pussy footing needs to be forgotten.

    Shyness is a disease. Learn to face your fears. If you look stupid or make a fool of yourself in the process; good! It's the only way you'll ever learn it doesn't matter. Take a hit then go take another and another until you no longer flinch.

  • Not all people are meant to have a significant amount of sex. It's simply the course of evolution that some members of the species will be more successful than others. Trying to fight this is like trying to beat gravity. Analogously, maybe you can beat it if you build a rocket, meaning using intelligence to change your personality from a shy, quiet guy into a confident and charming bachelor. Not easy obviously but you either try your best to just keep talking to women and improve until you're good, or you give up and write depressing GAG rants.

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

What Girls & Guys Said

27 14
  • Poor guy. You're not a loser to me. You're just a victim of the stupidness of girls who fall for the alpha male. (I'll have to put my self in that group of girls. Can't change the past).

    • I respect the fact that you took the initiative to place yourself in that particular group of girls. Takes a lot of courage. Now the trick is to not make the same mistake twice.

  • you are not a loser, heck my boyfriend never had a girlfriend before me.

    being a virgin means pure so save it for someone special.

    don't let it get you down, sometimes I wish I was a virgin again lol, just miss the way of things sometimes

  • You are not a loser. You're being too hard on yourself. cheer up!

    It will happen when its suppose to happen. I understand you feel frustrated, because you perhaps feel like you're missing out but f*** that lol. sex will ALWAYS be around. It's not going anywhere. When it's your time, then you will have your moment and things will go on from there.

  • Some might, of course. but there are a lot of virgin girls out there your age who would think your also being one would be a big plus.

    Jon clubs for people with your interests..sooner or later you'll meet a virgin girl who doesn't want to die curious!

  • I don't think you're a loser and the fact that you're still a virgin is awesome! Sooner or later you will find a girl who deserves to be with you.

    But don't put yourself down.

  • well...son, in this generation NO! in fact your a winner...just give one of these gal your number you will see then!

  • Dude, being a virgin at your age is in no way being a loser. In fact it just means you respect yourself and your body. How are you useless? I don't understand why girls or guys say such things. Being a virgin is something you should honor and save until you find the right person to have sex with.

  • Loser has so many meanings to so many different people. But I don't think that just because someone is a virgin at 23 makes them a loser. Some people just want to rush into it and don't care who they lose it to, some want to wait for the right moment. I'm 23 and I too have yet to be kissed and have sex with a man. I've had sexual experiences but those were when I was too young and it was unwanted. I too have never really had a boyfriend. I've had a few opportunities to get it over as it has bothered me too but it didn't feel right so I didn't.

  • personally, I think this "loser" thing is stupid. don't worry about it. you're not a loser. just have confidence in yourself, that's what makes us more interesting,

  • I think you should consider embracing the 'loser' persona, because there are a lot of women who would give anything to have an older male virgin, and train him to serve her exactly the way she wants him to.

    • I'm curious to know if many women enjoy teasing a male virgin and frustrating him sexually. I think that's incredibly hot!

  • Sounds like you might be setting your sights a bit high. I've had friends like that in the past, they moan about never getting any girls yet they're 5 foot tall chubby nerdy guys and they're only chasing the borderline supermodels...duh.

    And what do you mean you don't like the "Bar/club scene"? There is no one scene. There's a variety of places out there. Pubs are where people meet people. Not going to pubs cuts you off from a shit tonne in life. You don't have to drink. But getting out there and doing some leg work is key.

  • i'm not really sure how to help, I can only suggest you just keep trying and talking to more girls. eventually you're going to find one you like and she'll like you back. shy guys are cute, you just have to be yourself and be nice

  • i think you're fine. you're too hard on yourself

  • Dude, it's not even that serious.

  • In NO WAY will a girl think you are a loser. I was in your shoes up until 10 days ago and I am also 23. Here's the thing. please don't rush it. lol I was totally convinced that I would die a virgin or something ridiculous like that and just like you I never kissed a guy or even held someones hand! I used to lie about it, until one day I just came to terms with it. Think of it this way, the girl who does get that honor could very well be the luckiest bitch alive! You aren't a loser at all, no woman honestly wants a guy with too many sexual partners anyway. Its gross, but most girls have to settle with a guy who was a sleaze in the past. What I will say that will further solidify you not being a loser and your experience when it happens, is to study up a bit on how to please a woman. Most guys even with experience still can't do that, but if you gain that knowledge now you'll be unstoppable in the bedroom. Good luck!

  • I don't consider you a loser, but you have to work harder at your game if that's what you want (a girlfriend).

  • I think it comes down to the effort you put into it. Maybe you're not great looking or what ever the issue is but there are women that would be interested. Maybe open your mind to who you would be interested to give yourself more options.

  • I think that is totally awesome. Your a major hottie just on that fact alone (: It just makes it that much more special when you find the girl you really want. As for the kiss, that's fixable ;D kisses are way more fixable.

  • NO WAY only girls who have babys with out a housband but you no soon a girl will come for you

  • There's a lot of virgin girls here in GaG. Pick one?

  • Show More (21)