First off, congratulations on your weight loss. Keep it up. I too would like to see a before and after pic hence why I am not anonymous. I too am loosing weight and not only does my stomach look smaller, but my arms, chest and penis look bigger, so that's a plus. It has also boosted my self confidence. Go out and buy a great outfit, it will help your outlook that much more. I mean everything. Panties, bra, jeans/skirt sweater/blouse.
I find that if you loose weight to quickly without firming up and toning at the same time, you tend to get that flab under your arms. Start weight training. Also as you are at a plateu with your workout, you need to change it up, intensify it some and keep going. Swiming is an awesome way to get a fll body work out with out really bulking up like a body builder or loosing your bust.
The best diet and exercise regiment that I have ever done was thanks to the United States Military and would gladly pay to go through boot camp again as a diet/exercise program (yes I would) and think that it would be a good way for the government to make some money! Talk to an ex-service member, Cadre, or Recruiter to find out the exercises. Now on to your questions.
I have always been attracted to larger women. One because I was a larger male and had little to no self-esteem or self-confidence. When I originally lost weight (247 to 163 in 12 weeks) I started dating and 'entertaining' girls that were size two (or smaller) and 32B as I gained weight I lost "the one." After 10 years of extreme self hate, 360 pounds and many suicide attempts I am loosing weight again. As my size went up so did the girls that I hit on. Now I am married and wanting to loose the weight for myself. She too is big but does not care about her (275) weight nor does she care to try loosing it. I don't think I would leave her over it, but it will cause us to have a lot less in common. She'll sit around the TV eating while I am out hufing and puffing walking 5 miles 2X a day. She can't walk around the mall with out stopping to "REST" or have a snack at the all you can eat buffet. The more we grow apart the harder it will be. I am doing this for me, her and my health. Can't she do it for just one of those reasons?
Once again, keep up the good work. If you join the Y or most gyms, they will assign you a trainer free for "X" amount of days/weeks/months. Give it a try.