Guys: What's your opinion on dating overweight girls?

I'm 26 / 5'2

My weight last year was: 254lbs / 115.2 kg

My weight right now: 170lbs / 77.1 kg

It's a work in progress!

Would you date an overweight girl at all (with a personality you like) and would it make a difference if she was (like me) in the process of losing weight...or is it simply not something you'd go for because you could never be attracted to an overweight girl?

Reason for asking: I didn't feel good about the way I looked / lived, but now; having lost all that weight I feel great about myself. Way more confident about flirting & Co even though I still have a LOT of work to do and most guys would probably still consider me fat.

*Edit: 163 lbs now :)
160 lbs now; slow but steady :-)
158 update when I reach 144 lbs.
Not at 144 yet...but 154 after having hit a bit of a plateau. Big change in waist & co measurements though. tbc...
149.9 (1.0229449 pound-loss per week) - hope you all are doing good. any advice on dumbbell exercises - triceps? bingo wings suck, but the more weight I lose the harder it is to avoid them. you guys bothered by them?
145.5 :D
Before after pic for those of you who asked. I hope the link works. 140.2 lbs

132.9 lbs - what would your first thought be if you saw a severely overweight person enter a McDonald's? Before I wouldn't allow myself to think about it, but now that I have lost all that weight I catch myself having "skinny folks thoughts" (even though I'm not skinny yet).

Might be because I'm over all the bullsh*t I told myself over the years (excuses, excuses, more excuses as to why I need sweets & such).

What's Your Opinion?


What Girls Said 2

What Guys Said 76

  • I loved this! I am 5 ft 2 and170 lbs now. I HATE it. I'm pretty in the face, but I carry everything in my abd. I joined CrossFit and I'm working my way down... but it feels so slow! I'm so sad. I randomly came across this post and it seems so inspirational. Seems like there are mixed feelings about whether or not a guy would be attracted. Idk, I'm pretty confident... I used to be 143 lbs and I was happy-ish then... and then I moved home (worst idea ever). In college, I could maintain my weight because I picked what I ate there. Here, my mom comments on everything and cooks super unhealthy foods! I'm so frustrated. Thanks for this though. Good luck to you! Are you still working at it?

    • Maybe I should try harder on the cooking thing... I don't make enough to move out yet, but hopefully soon! I workout at CrossFit... and I used to do 1-2 hrs a day at the gym with an hour of cardio. My mom cooks such unhealthy food that I maintain a weight with that type of workout. Now I'm trying to do CrossFit and an hr of cardio. Sooo tired every day. I definitely need to cook for myself. See, my mom cooks bad stuff, but she'll eat 3 bites.. I can't do that. I get way too hungry if I eat like that

    • No sweets, no junk and sport and healthy eating instead. That's it. No weird diet, no excessive unhealthy workouts every single day of the week. Nothing like that. I just gave myself time. - Your mom might complain, but she didn't forbid you cooking in her kitchen did she? And depending on how old you can always move our or make her understand that as long as that is not an option she HAS to give you the opportunity to be self-dependent. Cooking for yourself is one way to do it.

    • Omgsh, how did you do it!? That's so amazing. See, it's funny... my mom doesn't really like if I cook in her kitchen... she gets really perturbed to put it lightly. I told her I wanted to cook the other day/try out this challenge they're having at my gym for healthy eating and she was like what my food isn't good enough? It's hard here.

    • Show Older
  • I can't answer your question since I'm a girl and everything, but I just wanted to say congrats on getting healthy! You're doing amazing :)

    • Thank you so much! :-)

  • Selected as most helpful

    i mean, the thing is that guys are more visual people so we prefer a girl who is physically attractive. The issue here isn't dating but the idea of first attraction. Sure personality matters but you have to get to that step of finding out each others' personality and that requires an initial approach and the physical attraction is what creates that approach. So I guess what I'm saying is that, I probably wouldn't date an overweight girl. I apologize if that comes off as shallow.. But good luck on your weight loss! don't do it just to get guys. do it for your own health! :)

    • Thanks for the continued support :-). Not there yet (ideal 119 lbs) but I'm not worried. I know I'll get there. I'm taking my time and that's what's been working best for me.

    • Wow that is pretty f***ing awesome! Its almost kinda inspirational! That much weight lost. Congrats!

    • Can't for everyone bec of my job, but if you want I'll add you and message you one

    • Show Older
  • I wish that you had left the updated photos on line as I just went to check them and they were listed as deleted, I was hoping to see how good you are looking now!

    • I don't have any requests?! Then again, I don't have any pics on my profile either.

    • I am inpatient I added you as a friend.

    • I'll reup them again once I've reached ideal weight. Promise! :)

  • I like that.

  • Update 7: WOW that's GREAT work! very encouraging - way to go :)

    • Thank you :)

  • Congrats! You've worked hard, and your looks show it. You've got from probably being a 4 or so to more like an 8.

    • Lol, I figured. Thank you!

    • And that's not size, that's on the looks scales of 1-10.

  • First off, congratulations on your weight loss. Keep it up. I too would like to see a before and after pic hence why I am not anonymous. I too am loosing weight and not only does my stomach look smaller, but my arms, chest and penis look bigger, so that's a plus. It has also boosted my self confidence. Go out and buy a great outfit, it will help your outlook that much more. I mean everything. Panties, bra, jeans/skirt sweater/blouse.

    I find that if you loose weight to quickly without firming up and toning at the same time, you tend to get that flab under your arms. Start weight training. Also as you are at a plateu with your workout, you need to change it up, intensify it some and keep going. Swiming is an awesome way to get a fll body work out with out really bulking up like a body builder or loosing your bust.

    The best diet and exercise regiment that I have ever done was thanks to the United States Military and would gladly pay to go through boot camp again as a diet/exercise program (yes I would) and think that it would be a good way for the government to make some money! Talk to an ex-service member, Cadre, or Recruiter to find out the exercises. Now on to your questions.

    I have always been attracted to larger women. One because I was a larger male and had little to no self-esteem or self-confidence. When I originally lost weight (247 to 163 in 12 weeks) I started dating and 'entertaining' girls that were size two (or smaller) and 32B as I gained weight I lost "the one." After 10 years of extreme self hate, 360 pounds and many suicide attempts I am loosing weight again. As my size went up so did the girls that I hit on. Now I am married and wanting to loose the weight for myself. She too is big but does not care about her (275) weight nor does she care to try loosing it. I don't think I would leave her over it, but it will cause us to have a lot less in common. She'll sit around the TV eating while I am out hufing and puffing walking 5 miles 2X a day. She can't walk around the mall with out stopping to "REST" or have a snack at the all you can eat buffet. The more we grow apart the harder it will be. I am doing this for me, her and my health. Can't she do it for just one of those reasons?

    Once again, keep up the good work. If you join the Y or most gyms, they will assign you a trainer free for "X" amount of days/weeks/months. Give it a try.

    • Just an XL long-shirt. I'm wearing my clothes as long as possible size-wise. Otherwise I would have spent a fortune already by now...on new clothes (every time a drop a size) haha. Thanks for your answer. The only reason I did / am doing it is for myself. I feel much better than before.

    • Just checked out your link. I think you look GREAT! Your legs and bust seem to fit your body better, although the choice of clothes hide a lot (color and fit) and make it hard to see. The question is and should always be, do you feel better now or before?

  • I would date her only if she agreed to get fat again with an extra 26 pounds

    • That's gonna happen...NOT. :)

  • cool! I like thick chicks!

  • Lots of guys are attracted to overweight girls (aka heavyset, fat, stocky girls). My girlfriends (one at a time) included overweight girls both fat and stocky. I remember one of my girlfriends in particular who was very short and very large (more fat than stocky) and who had high self esteem because she knew she was stronger than many guys including tall skinny guys like me (I stand 6-foot-1 and I weigh 135 pounds). One day, she boldly challenged me to a weightlifting contest to find out which one of us (HER? OR ME?) could lift a bigger, heavier barbell overhead. She stood only 4-foot-9 while she weighed 190 pounds (massive for her short stature) while I weighed 125 pounds (measly for my tall stature). At my apartment, there was a big, heavy, fully-loaded barbell set up on the floor. I had already tried to lift it over my head. I lifted it up from the floor but when I tried to lift it over my head, I COULDN'T EVEN GET IT ABOVE MY THIGHS! When she arrived, she lifted that barbell up from the floor and I watched her while she easily swung it up over her shoulders and then, while I continued to watch her, she easily lifted it over her head. I just stood there, STUNNED, and ALMOST IN DISBELIEF at what I just saw her do. I failed in front of her as well. Afterward, she and I stood in front of each other with her looking way up at me while I looked way down at her. I thought she would be turned off after she outlifted me but her strength being far superior to mine actually turned the both of us on. She and I began kissing each other tenderly while we were both caressing each other. However, it didn't advance beyond that because it was still early in our relationship. I was barechested so we noticed that I stood so much taller than she did that my nipples actually rose above her mouth!

    • maybe a tad on the tmi-side but thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. :D

  • not attracted to them at all.

    • On a physical level I'm assuming? Or does a physical body type no-go, in turn, make the personality seem a no-go as well? Thx for sharing your thoughts on this.

  • Yes I would. Sexy attitude turns me on

    • Its important. Its hot. My blood starts flowing in all the right places ;)~

    • Thanks for answering. I so need to remember this "sexy attitude turns me on". Very true too.

  • Keep up the good Work an do it, for yourself. If you do things just for the Opposite Sex request. Than you might end up having regrets.

    Good Luck in your Future of Dating an Loving but Mostly be Happy & Enjoy yourself.

    • I would never do it for anyone BUT myself. I agree with you and I'd even go as far as to say that IF I had done it for the guys...I would not have come this far. Thanks for the encouragement and words of advice. :-)

  • can you give me advice on how you are losing the weight? hopefully you have more advice than "burn more calories than consumed"

    • bro burn more caloruioes than consumed is the only way, count calories, you can eat anything you want, also lift weights so you look good, find an easy weight program they have a bunch on the internet, do half of an hour everyday and that's it

    • And if you have more question / specific ones regarding what I wrote then feel free to ask and I'd be happy to try and answer them.

    • Check the Anonymous User question (2 below you). I gave a bit of advice in the comments. :-)

  • Good for you on losing the weight keep it up.

    • I will. This question has transformed itself into my very own motivational sphere haha. Thanks!

  • How did you manage losing so much weight? What's the trick? Pls share...

    • ...time for whole grains because they, too, will fill you up for a good long while. :-)

    • I sometimes split dinner in two parts. Part one: A couple of strawberries & a kiwi or the papaya leftovers from the salad... and only later IF I'm still hungry Part two: one slice of whole grain toast with cucumber or a slice of low fat ham. But usually the fruits do the job and I don't feel the need to eat more. Especially not when you mix the strawberries with a spoonful of natural yogurt. This way you don't go to bed hungry and you have a healthy appetite the next morning...

    • You are welcome. + I've become a fan of salad mix. I use salad greens, bell pepper, corn, cucumber, radish, mushrooms (whatever you have veggie-wise or even slices of apple or papaya - COLD) and mix it all together with a handful of whole grain rice or couscous (HOT) . Instead of eating turkey/seafood with 30gr of couscous AND salad greens I eat turkey/seafood with this mix of everything (but I only use 10-15gr of couscous). It will fill you up & at the same time you get your 5 veggies a day.

    • Show Older
  • First of all, congrats on the accomplishment! Secondly, no chance I would date a fat chick. I realize that you should look at what's on the inside but no matter what, I still have to bring a girl home that won't make my parents laugh at me.

    • Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this.

  • Keep at it girl, you'll get there :)

    • Added you & will message you my Facebook url. :)

    • Aww, too bad. Feel free to add me as a friend and keep me posted through messaging, or we can be Facebook friends and we can message through there. Whatever you feel most comfortable with!

    • I will. But I'm thinking about not updating on here anymore. I just got asked by a question-answerer to please do so. I guess it is because you cannot deactivate the notification once you answered a question. Haven't thought about that.

    • Show Older
  • I would never be attracted to you. Sorry.

    • No reason for you to apologize for your opinion. Thanks for sharing.

  • First off, good work. Personally, I think women who are too skinny are not attractive looking and I find slightly over weight far more attractive. Wayy overweight or obese, well that's a different story.

    • Exactly but don't over do. Some women over do it and look unhealthy like a holocaust survivor. Its dangerous to do that and its not attractive at all at least to me. Just go for average weight. Even some women who are overweight can still look heavy.

    • Got ya. There definitely is a difference. The more weight I lose the more I realize that myself. I feel much better and more confident about putting myself out there (flirting, dating...) even though I'm still overweight. Overweight = 250+ vs. overweight at 170 does make a difference. Thx for sharing your thoughts on this.

  • If she was sweet and really nice and the attraction was there I've been attracted to some over weight girls before.

    • Well, id'e say good luck. But after all you did you don't need it! I know you'll do it!

    • It really did. 22 pounds to lose & I'm done.

    • Your welcome, all your hard work paid off!

    • Show Older
  • ive dated both ends of the spectrum and have have seen some bbw that look good (personal limit is 210 from my experiences).

    But its all in how she presents herself (being confident and dressing well), if you're big and can make it look good you shouldn't have to many problems but if you're out there lookin sloppy to us (looking like the people of walmart photos) then yeah the issues abounds.

    • Definitely. I mean overweight girls often tell you "I feel good; I don't need to lose weight to be confident". Truth is they don't feel good about themselves, but that doesn't mean they need to run around looking sloppy. Even when I still had 250+ I always took care of my appearance...still do. Dealbreaker! Thx for answering. :D

  • Show More