When do you know it's time to give up on asking a girl out?

Xper 4 Age: 44

There's this girl that I have been after since the end of January this year. I found her on MySpace and even got to talking with one of her friends, also found through MySpace. I just recently found out through her friend that this girl I really like is not attracted to me physically. However, she has not told me directly to my face or through email or by phone that she doesn't want anything to do with me. I knew from the beginning that it was my appearance that would deter her from going out with me. Besides physical appearance, I think I'm a great guy.

All I'm asking is should I continue to pursue this girl even though she actually hasn't said that she doesn't want anything to do with me.

Updates

+1 y

I forgot to mention that I didn't find this woman through JUST MySpace. I actually met her 3 years ago when her and I were once coworkers.

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+1 y

21 views and 0 comments. You've got to be kidding me.

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+1 y

107 views, wow I didn't know this question was that popular.

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+1 y

Please stop answering. It's over.

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Superstrength79 Follow
Xper 6 Age: 46 , mho 60%

+1 y

You're not as bad looking as you think, I say go for it! Even if what you thought was true, there are many "hot" women out there with guys who don't match them. They end up together because the guy pursued, and she fell in love with him for a different reason than looks. Looks are important, but still they are only one quality a person can have. So many other factors go into the longevity of a relationship.

Also, maybe you only heard half of the conversation. Maybe she was telling her friend "I'm not attracted to him physically, BUT" and the rest of the conversation was listing your qualities that she does find you attractive for.

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2 Reply
- disfabioguise
  
  +1 y
  I agree with your answer. I know I'm overweight and I am trying my best to get into shape, it's just taking me a really long time to look appealing to this girl, physically. Thanks for pointing out that this girl could indeed find me attractive in other ways.
  
  Reply
- gthcsmt
  
  +1 y
  Yo dude! I'm a pretty built guy... not trying to show off or anything, but just to let you know it's like 80% diet and 20% actual workout... So if you focus on eating right say 4 or 5 small meals a day, it will help you with your weight loss. And if you really like this girl, you have to be dedicated! One day not going to the gym is one day you could of loss some weight... Well, anyways, good luck with you and your girl. Girls are soooo complicated, I know....
  
  Reply

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xxsensuixx Follow
Xper 6 Age: 35 , mho 45%

+1 y

For a person like me,looks are the first thing we look for and without it I won't even bother getting to know a girl in a deeper level. You can only choose one person to spend your whole life with and so why not choose the very best who is almost perfect. Maybe that's also the way she thinks. Just move on. Looks count a lot and remember that. And its not like you can't do anything about it. Those obese people are just really lazy and have no hope. Just think about this girl. Try to improve yourself physically if that's what you need. Do it for that girl

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0 Reply

somechick Follow
Xper 5 Age: 44 , mho 68%

+1 y

I think any considerate human being won't tell the truth that might hurt the other person's feeling. If I'm approached by someone that I don't find physically attractive, I wouldn't tell him that he's ugly to his face. I'll make up some excuse to decline and invite. Eventually the guy will get the hint. So from a girl perspective, I would probably just let it go. But that's just me, cause I can't get myself to go out with a person that I don't find attractive. I mean, I'll still hangout with the guy but just as friends but nothing more.

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5 Reply
- disfabioguise
  
  +1 y
  I disagree with you. I have seen lots of ugly people with beautiful partners. How this works, I'm still not sure. Maybe the beautiful person found other qualities about the ugly person that no one else cared to find out. I agree with user "Superstrength79" because maybe I didn't get the whole conversation from the friend of the girl I like. Oh and I don't back off easily. The only way I'll be walking away from this girl is if she tells me the truth directly to my face.
  
  Reply
- somechick
  
  +1 y
  Well some girls do like persistence :). Girls tend to date a partner that either at the same level (physical appearance wise) or slightly below. Most relationship oriented women generally avoid dating super hot guys because we can't trust them. Cause we know how easy it is for him to find someone else. Hence we tend to find our equal or slightly less. But for most women, there has to be some form of physical attraction. If not then I might well date my guy friends.
  
  Reply
- disfabioguise
  
  +1 y
  I've been doing my best to lose weight since January, the problem is between work and school, I sometimes just don't have time to dedicate myself to a regular exercise routine every week. I already told this girl that I won't ask her out on a date until after she's sees me in about 8 months when I know for sure that I can look more appealing to her. The problem now is if she's willing to wait.
  
  Reply
- Superstrength79
  
  +1 y
  If she was willing to date you without waiting, why are you making her wait? Go out with her and exercise at the same time.
  
  Reply
- disfabioguise
  
  +1 y
  Superstrength79 you don't know the whole story. She hasn't replied to any of my phone messages or emails in over 4 months. As much as I wish it to have worked out, I'm starting to think it never will. I'll continue to exercise and eat right but for now I'm doing it for myself not to impress some girl that could careless about me.
  
  Reply

SoftballerJess16 Follow
Xper 5 Age: 35

+1 y

I'm kind of in the same situation. I'm overweight, I know it, and I'm working towards fixing it. Slowly, but surely. I have tons of attractive guy friends who have all told me I'm a great girl. Maybe they are just nice, I don't know? But I think that you should continue to pursue her until she tells you how she really feels.

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1 Reply
- disfabioguise
  
  +1 y
  Thanks for your input.
  
  Reply

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Opinion

ALWAYSclassy Follow
Yoda Age: 38 , mho 62%

+1 y

If you're not getting any signs from her that she likes you by now, it's time to give it up. You shouldn't have to twist someone's arm to get them to go out with you.

0

0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)

+1 y

Why give up, you should give up if she says no. Stop being wimpy, just like these guys in high school.

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2 Reply
- Bubbles
  
  +1 y
  Don't walk away yet, ask HER NOT HER FRIENDS cause you are going to get something different from them more likely.
  
  Reply
- disfabioguise
  
  +1 y
  Actually her friend has been encouraging me lately to not give up on this girl. Although I have had more communication with the friend than I have had with the girl I want to get to know more about. The girl that I am after hasn't returned a single phone call or email since April 8, 2008. This is why I am thinking I should just move on if this girl still hasn't gotten back to me. In my mind, I can't let go of her so soon but my heart has conflicting feelings.
  
  Reply

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When do you know it's time to give up on asking a girl out?

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