Why can't most women accept any criticism without getting angry/trying to retaliate?

[martyfellow]

This is true when dating but in general at work or play as well.

Of course they consider themselves free to gossip and backbite as much as they want.and tha'ts supposed to be above criticism as wel. So, what can be the reaston most women do not accept any criticism without getting angry/trying to retaliate?

Updates

+1 y

Aren't some of the answers really FASCINATING? Glad I asked this question.

[Magpiezoe]

OMG...I should go on this site more. My husband even said I'm more like a man than a woman. Now I understand why after reading this. My mother-in-law's Chinese and she can't take the least little bit of criticism or correction or she just flips out! She drives me nuts! Tonight's a prime example. Hubby and I spent the past 3 days shoveling all that snow that we've been getting everyday. The last storm dumped 20 inches on us. We have a huge sidewalk plus 2 driveways to shovel out. Today hubby and my son shoveled off the porch and garage roofs, while I shoveled the snow they pushed onto the ground. We were exhausted (She cooks for herself and my hubby, but I cook for myself and my son...crazy right?) Anyhow, usually I do all the super dishes. Tonight she decided to do the dishes, since I worked so hard shoveling and I thanked her. I was sitting there waiting for my son's bacon to get done in the oven, when she says she's going to take out the oil. She took the oil out and threw it right next to the house almost on my Alberta spruce! I don't know how many times I told her not to throw the oil so close to the house, because it will attract mice/rats and I don't want them in the house. Didn't notice til I had to take the dog out. (She hates animals.) When I came back in I told her to ask me to take the oil out next time and I will do it, instead of throwing it next to the house. Well that's all I had to say and she started yelling. She wouldn't even listen to my side of the story. Sure I agreed with her, that I should have taken the oil out, because of the ice, but she should have asked, because I was just too tired to think. She yelled so much that hubby came over to see what was going on. I told him he had to get her to calm down, because I can't stay in the kitchen to finish cooking my son's meal with her not stop yelling. Then she acted like she was going to pass out...had him take her pulse..then act like she was having a heart attack and had him put poppy seeds under her tongue. No it's not nitrate... my dad had those so I know what they look like. She watches too many of those Asian drama series. Thnx for listen and thnx. for the question. I guess a lot of women are like this no matter what nationality..

[Akikosmile]

Guilty as charged. I've been so obsessed with women' rights that in fact I generally respond to any criticism from men with anger.while I tend to excuse really bad behavior by women by saying they are just 'expressing their anger', etc.

I've come to see that all the women's rights rhetoric has turned into an excuse for a lot of women to be rude, inconsiderate, borrish.in orthe words, a lot like the men!

But men accept criticism for that behavior, generally.and don't try to hide behind their gender.

I wish I could disagree, and just a few years ago I would have.but not now.

[Hercules]

Your honesty is very much appreciated.

[crissangellvr19]

I totally know what ya mean and totally agree. and it sorta gives us a chance 2 go off on them and say everythhing we've wanted 2 say but didnt. I just did that last nit. and omg then my frn did it and it turned into HUGE mess and it still is and we still haven't gotten it worked out. that's the bad part of it.. sumtimes it doesn't turn out so well

[Aristotles]

Wow, that's good to hear

[melissarose8585]

We are incredibly insecure because we're told by society, the media, and all the people around us that we have to be a mother, a perfect careerwoman, a great housecleaner, and good wife, etc. We have so much we have to live up to that we can't stand any criticism because a lot of the time we already have doubts about how good we're doing.

That said, there are some women who can take it. I'll take criticism without retaliation, although I will probably go cry somewhere afterward and be wary of that person. I don't get angry, I get hurt.

[martyfellow]

I agree there's too much pressure on modern women, and I'm sorry if you're hurt by the criticism although that is better than retaliating when the criticism is deserved...I never mean to be mean and hurt anyone but gee the way you modern women behave sometimes...

[SeanE]

I used to think the same, and I thought at the time it were just those women who were like that!

I've learned to talk to women in their language, you know, how women converse, and then you can criticize them without any retaliation lol.

our language are foreign to them and they don't like anything we say that they don't like. if that makes sense :D

[Byakuyarko]

narcissism, mayhaps? Girls typically don't get the tough love boys are accustomed to from an early age. Their self esteem is inherently tied to their precious opinions, no matter how asinine they are. Some blokes behave like this too... Specially kids these days

[blondie252]

LOL well well well, then my ex boyfriend was a woman, 'cause he retalilated worse than any ten women I know.combined! Women are cattier then men, yes, but the difference is we tend to hold grudges and bring s**t up in fights from like, FOREVER ago. The worst thing you can do is ignore a woman when they get in that mindset.it makes them even more mad! Smile politely and make a run for it :)

This is coming from a woman.

[martyfellow]

Running for it is the important part!!

[blondie252]

Oh, yeah, running can be key...especiailly when she picks up a spike heel and it's clelarly aimed at you lol

[martyfellow]

Even worse if it's a hairbrush and she catches you!!

[temptationfalls]

My experience was a cell phone. they kinda hurt when they smash into the back of your head

[blondie252]

Or a lit cigarette

[Cool-Relax]

I can't speak for all women, but I know there are a few main reasons for me personally.

1. I always have to have the last worst. Even when I know I should keep my mouth shut, I can't help myself; it's not even just when I'm criticized.

2. I like arguing. I don't mean that I like starting stupid arguments, but I've always liked debating, and I'm good at it--I'm just doing point/counter-point when I respond to criticism.

3. I take it personally. No one likes hearing when they've done something wrong. And I'm an insecure person to some extent, so it definitely stings.

[martyfellow]

I don't 'agree' you should feel this way but this is exactly what is going on with many US women in my opinion..insecurity expressed as retaliatory, even violent behavior...and princess like insistence on getting the last word...

[Cool-Relax]

Princess-like insistence? I wouldn't go so far as to say that. I think it goes back to the fact that I take things personally, and I always feel the need to explain myself. Let's face it, that's why I'm responding to your comment now.

[christined]

There's a lot of truth in this. Women somehow think they have a license to cut down anyone but god help you if you say anything at all criticial of THEM.there's a real double standard here.

I agree that all the talk about women's rights has had similar results to all the talk about racial equality. A lot of people think they have a license to do whatever they want and if anyone criticizes them, well, they're sexist, oh, well, they're racist, etc. etc.

It's really a plague!

[crissangellvr19]

lol nice. well first of all its hilarious how we retaliate. and second were defensive and we think that were right and you guys are wrong. its not are fault. were like just born that way. lol. and the worst thing you can do wen a woman gets pissed is laugh, and ignore her. that just makes her even more pissed. lol. and you dnt wna c us wen we get pissed. especially sum woman. lol. just prtty much agree with her and all will b good. :)

[martyfellow]

Well, yes, agreeing with her is the safest way.

But no, you're not born that way it's a cultural thing with Anglo women and those infused witht he dominant Anglo culture. Most Asian women are not like that, or at least a LOT less..

[matt4902]

Is it bad to think Black rights movements are going that way to

[Hercules]

I think because of other girls of similar age, and just how we're raised, girls are naturally more self-conscious, so it really does hurt more to hear criticism. My dad used to yell at me a lot for things I didn't do, so for a while and even now still I can get pretty upset (angry or sad) when I'm being criticized (politely or not). It just hurts.

[Anonymous]

Women are naturally argumentative. Ever heard the saying: there are two theories to how to win an argument with a woman. Nether one works. Men do it too, no one likes to lose and let themselves be criticized.

[martyfellow]

Well, sure, but modern US women are so compulsive about NEVER admitting error when talking to most men, unless you are some sort of father figure to them...anyone else is wisely scared to criticize you...exactly the problem.

Nonsense to say women are 'naturally argumentative'....they aren't that way in most other cultures, BTW...

[Opinion Owner]

Well, then blame the whole era of woman's rights. Because of that, women not only feel the need to criticize men, but also hide behind their gender as and excuse to. By naturally argumentative, I meant, it's too common for modern woman these days to be anything but natural. And cultures have nothing to do with the way a woman is personally like. Sure, you could've been raised a certain way, but that has to do with parenting not culture.

[martyfellow]

From talking to elders, this goes back before the

'princess rights' era, which I think just REFLECTS this same sort of attitude...didn't CREATE it.

[Opinion Owner]

Then why ask the question if you already know the answer and are satisfied with it. Keep a more open mind to our opinions as well.

[martyfellow]

I have to admit, I'm not willing to spend time discussing if they ARE that way, just WHY...if you're not willing to concede they are that way, then you are right, we don't have anything to talk about.

But no one with any rationality or objectivity could deny women are that way. Hey, most of the ones answering here don't argue that point, they just try to defend women acting that way..

[Opinion Owner]

I just proved your point.

[martyfellow]

At least it's safe to discuss this online. Face to face I wouldn't raise this issue!!!!

[Opinion Owner]

Of course, who in their right mind would? But congratulations on winning an argument with a thirteen year old girl.

[martyfellow]

You may only be 13 but you already have been indoctrinated, my dear. You sound just like the older girls or even the women for the most part.

I didn't know I had won! Thanks!

BTW you're in violation, you're supposed to be 16 to belong here. You need a spanking

[Opinion Owner]

Well, you just said I sound like a woman(thank you very much by the way), so that gives me the right to be here based on maturity alone =P but I also chose to be anonymous. And of course you won the argument, I managed to unconsciously prove the point you were trying to convince me of just by arguing it. I plan to be a lawyer, major in psychology as well, and I win writing contests all the time, if I sounded like a thirteen year old girl, then I'd disapprove of myself ^.^

[martyfellow]

It's not hard to sound mature, is it? That's why there are all these stories about girls your age running around with old guys they met on the Internet...

[Akikosmile]

Hey, any 13 year old can SOUND mature...they practice it all the time, don't they? It's another thing to BE mature in REAL LIFE

[Opinion Owner]

Maturity in real life eh? Well, I'm glad I'm not that immature in real life then. This is exactly as I sound when I'm being serious. Besides, you have to be an idiot to want to attract pedophiles on purpose, or listen to them. I like talking to people, nothing more really, anything more is asking for trouble. And I don't know what AkikoSmile (Fall Child is cute btw, smile is Emi) meant by practicing it all the time, as far as my friends, a lot of them are immature all the time.

[martyfellow]

Easy to sound mature, isn't it? That's how girls your age get picked up by guys much older on the net....a lot harder to BE mature than to act it!!!

[Opinion Owner]

Getting picked up by older guys on the net, is entirely the girls' fault. There's no question of maturity when stupidity is a factor. I am, for the most part, mature, and I find no joy in meeting and getting picked up by older men on the internet, I'm just talkative. Girls either want to, or get tricked into getting picked up by older man, and are neither mature nor intelligent. I'm not so mature to miss out on what's left of my childhood, but running around with older men isn't fun, just stupid

[Opinion Owner]

And maturity shouldn't be 'hard' to be, I thought is was supposed to come naturally O.o Isn't it a psychological thing?

[Aristotles]

It shows allot more in a person to admit fault than to fight back, but I admit sometimes when one always admits fault and allow unjust critisism to overflow you it breaks ones self esteem. But if one has good and true self esteem then there would be no need to fight back.

[sweet17]

Actually, females are mosre open to criticism/feedback than males.

However, females will probably be more affected by it than males.

[spartan55]

The answers from the pink users are fascinating.

[matt4902]

I wish I knew