Check it out yourself and make sure there's no issues with odor or whatever and ask him about that. If there's nothing about that, then ask him about his hang ups about it. If you can't get anywhere that way, then refuse to go down on him unless he goes down on you. And since you're way ahead of him in that department, he has to go first and catch up. If that doesn't work find someone else.
You might like to find someone that will just go down on you, I know plenty of guys who are into that. Depending on how you want to do it and if you really want to stay with the guy you are with for other reasons, you can tell him or not. But if you go out with other guys who do this for you, you might realize these other guys are better than your current guy, and just leave him.
When someone isn't equal in how they treat their partner, it just says a lot about them besides the exact sexual thing.
I had a thing were this chick was all using me for support every time she had a fight with her boyfriend. I liked her and she liked me, it looked as if I might get with her if this guy kept it up. But then I thought about it and said to her that I'd just be her good friend and keep supporting her and not go there. So she said that was all sweet and she liked that. But after she kept talking to me about her BS and her BF, I asked her for support in something else I had going on, and she didn't want to talk about it. Then she called up about her Boyfriend again and I just confronted her about her behavior and told her to break with up him. She got all mad at me and has been taking it out on me for a week. Then she sent me that "one last email" just telling me that she liked talking to me and would like to stay friends but that we are just doing this because "we want to" and not to "expect anything in return" for my support of her - meaning she owes me nothing for my support like the same support back, in her eyes.
So I wrote her back and detailed all the things she told me and all the things she dumped on me and I have never heard from her since and she was calling me everyday before. It was real embarrassing for her, she is kind of high and mighty, beautiful, well off with money, young; but she thought I was just some kind chump she could use for emotional support and when I wrote back all her flaws and problems back to her after her telling me all of them she must have read it and been like "damn, caught ! this nobody I thought I could use just showed me how much of a nobody I am"
My point here for you is that if you are with someone that doesn't feel that the same you do for them is what they owe you at least back, as something they hold themselves to inside of themselves - then they got more problems that you don't want around than just that one thing he's not doing for you.
Wow --that sux--u were such a good friend to that girl and she didn't deserve it--I hope you find more loving kind and selfless male and female friends who will give you the support you need because you seem like a terrific person!
Wow, thanks - it's funny that you wrote this just now, I haven't talked to this chick in about a month - it was an emotional roller coaster meeting and talking to her online, long story short she was this prototype female that I've had problems with all of my life, my aunt and mom are a lot like her and my first romantic interest was a lot like her, Freud would have a field day with me on this one. Worked out a bunch of issues this time around just saw her profile online and felt free.
She's attractive no doubt, but I was breaking away from that to concentrate on the person and she had no place to stick her claws, saw her pics now and felt nothing except the bad feelings she gave me from her person, the phony smile she has on all the time, and the fact she's a liar in a fake relationship - she had a mall photo hut pic of her and her Boyfriend on her profile and she just changed it to her dancing with some other dude, I'm glad I worked out getting hung up on females like her.
If he doesn't like it... he doesn't like it. You can't help that, some people just don't. It wouldn't be right to say that he's supposed to go down on you, or that he should. How would you feel if he was trying to make you give him head when you didn't want to?
If it's really that big a deal to you, then talk to him, ask him why he doesn't want to... see if there's anything you can do to encourage him... and if he really just won't do it... then just let it go. If he doesn't have a good reason other than that he just prefers not to then I'd say it would be fair to stop giving him head then... unless you particularly enjoy doing that.
He should do it even if he doesn't like it, it's not like I love giving head, I don't enjoy the smell of his balls , and I don't really appreciate large things in my mouth, that occasionally makes me gag. Maybe I should tell him this......maybe he'll realize that for once it's not about doing things you enjoy, its about doing things so your partner can enjoy. I guess if you knew him, you'd see how selfish he is, and not going down on me is just the icing on the cake.
Okay, well yeah you should want to please your partner... but some guys just really don't like doing it at all as in they just can't stand the smell or the taste regardless of how clean it is. Saying that he should do it even if he doesn't like it makes YOU sound a little selfish. Granted I can see where you're coming from as I had a girlfriend who I went down on all the time but refusd to give head and it was frustrating. As I said if he doesn't want to give then you shouldn't have to either.
The more I read from you the more I see that you think relationships are all about the guy and women should just shut up about their needs--why should she do things to please this man that she doesn't enjoy for his sake and then be told he won't do it for her--how is it selfish for her to expect him to do something that she would like sexually--weren't you just in another thread telling a girl that she needs to suck up a guy liking porno even though she didn't like it--u are such a hypocrite!
My thing is this...if he had never done this to you in the first palce, I would assume that he just one of the few men in this world that don't go there. BUT he got you in to something and then took it away, and all the while you are still blowing him like no tomorrow. NOT FAIR
I would definately stop all sucking and blowing and tell him exactly what is on your mind. If he is a selfish ass anyway, then what do you have to lose. Oral sex is a HUGE thing to me. I feel accepted and loved when my man goes down on me, and that's how he feels when you do it to him. Take that away, and see if he misses it. Talk to him hun...if you can't talk to him about this or anything else that you are afraid might drive him away, then what kind of relationship does that make. Either way, take back some of his pleasure until he is willing to return the favor. And if he refuses please stand your ground.
Try talking some more. Unfortunately it sounds as though he won't change but give it another chance and be direct. I'd also say that if cops that kind of stubborn attitude then you should fight fire with fire and NOT go down on him. For girls like me who live and love to give head that is a punishment for us but it might send a message. If he still won't budge on the issue then I personally feel that he is not a worthy lover.
My rule of thumb and what I tell very clearly to all the guys I start to date is: "You better be willing to at least try everything with me and let me try it with you or don't bother." I screen my lovers carefully and in explicit detail long before the consideration of having sex is ever agreed upon. Communication is the most important thing anyone can share.
Some men just don't like to be down there. The find it repugnant or they're squeamish about body fluids. I had a guy like that. It didn't matter to me because I honestly didn't like going down on him, and I had a vibrator. He eventually changed his mind - I guess blow jobs feel better than jacking off.
You should treat it like a barter system. He gets one, you get one. You get one, he gets one. If he won't return the favor, you are not obligated to please him orally. Fair is fair. If he doesn't like it, the I suggest you find a guy who does or invest in a vibrator he can use on you.
Good luck and stand your ground!
While I get what you're saying... that sounds horrible. Oral may not be the most pleasant thing in the world, but the primary reason for doing it should be to pleae your partner, not because you feel obligated to from some sexual bartering system.
I see your point. Understand this though - she's tried everything else. What else can she do? I honestly don't think it starts out as a bartering thing - but she shouldn't have to endure something she doesn't particularly enjoy when he can't even return the favor. You don't enjoy pleasing your partner anymore after he continues to not please you - you feel used.
Don't worry techan has a very anti-woman agenda and needs to deal with his misogynistic tendancies...there is nothing a woman can say in regards to being treated fair that techan will agree agree with--we need to focus only male needs and forget about what we want emotionally spiritually or sexually...on the other hand, if it was a guy complain he would probably tell the dude to leave her because she was being selfish...go figure...
I think sex can prove how selfish another person might be; especially if you are giving more than you receive. Sometimes, yes, I hate giving blow jobs; but I do it anyway. Giving a girl oral requires work, and it also includes putting attention on somebody else but yourself. I have learned a trick that works when a guy is being selfish: offer 69. If he is receiving while giving, he is going to enjoy it much more. When you do something right, he works harder to do something right for you-I love it!
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!Personally, I LOVE giving a girl oral...
I find it one of the most stimulating things that I can do for a girl, to the extent that I could "give oral" 24/7/365...lol
What turns me on the most is how the girls body reacts...:- by getting wetter, "opening up" and clit getting harder, bigger and how it (and her "internal walls") pulsate and twitch. Not to forget the AMAZING smell and taste of a FULLY aroused and orgasmic girl.
I do, and have found that girls who DO NOT SHAVE are FAR MORE "stimulating".
The reasons for this, I have found (and experienced) are:-
When a girl shaves, the skin around that area actually becomes "harder", "damaged" and less sensitive for her.
Pheromones are "obviously" also released from "that area", and, like with "armpit shaving"; as the skin becomes "harder" so the "pheromone release" becomes more difficult.
A "natural and unshaved" woman "normally" produces and secretes more pheromones, and as they are a "natural aphrodisiac" this in turn further stimulates the guy and also therefore has a beneficial ripple stimulating effect on the girl.
Also, an unshaved "natural" girl is "normally" far more confident in her own sexuality and sensuality...which leads to a far more "satisfying" and "stimulating" encounter.
To me...I FAR PREFER "going down" on a "natural and unshaved" girl... they smell and taste FAR better than "shaved".
But...with that being said, although my "preference"is hairy...I LOVE "giving oral" on ALL girls.
If you want any further info...feel free to add me as a "Friend" here, and/ or E-Mail me at:
dbnfun@hotmail.com
Hope this helps
Graham
If you're still going with him then tell him he needs to get good at it. No compromise either. He needs to learn to like it just like you did in going down on him. If he's going to be your boyfriend he just needs to deal with it until he starts liking it like most guys do.
I disagree with a lot of the people here that sex is a trade-off and that you should withhold your practices until he relents. It's pretty much on par with extortion and the healthiest thing it can do is lead to a break up.
The problem isn't with you, it's with him. I've found that a lot of the guys who object to giving oral do so because they are uneducated. The vagina can be rather intimidating for a novice trying to figure out what goes where and how to work the controls on the fly with nothing but candlelight to guide him. Unfortunately, the most available instruction manual is porn and we all know what an accurate representation of female sexuality that is.
Guys hate ultimatums as much as they hate admitting they can't do something they think they should be able to do. Threatening to stop the oral if he doesn't reciprocate isn't the answer. A better answer would be allowing him a couple free passes at screwing up oral so he can get his bearings. Then as he gets better, and he will, show the proper appreciation. I'm sure it will come naturally to you. :)
Why guys insist on being perfect at any sexual contact on the first try is beyond me. Riding a bicycle, swimming, hitting a home run, those all take practice but sex, that's got to be right the first time or it will never work.
Also, if you're up for it, maybe take some time to look up some porn that you feel offers the best starting points for pleasing a woman orally. That might be a great way to start the conversation. "Hey, honey, I found some great lesbian porn today..." I guarantee you'll have his attention.
Buy him an instructional book or video on oral sex
I find the mens remarks very funny. If the situation was reversed, eg. ' My woman won't give me head' I'm sure the reactions would be VERY different..
Sorry to hear that, I love giving my wife pleasure and the more I can give her the better, so going down on her is not an issue with me. Perhaps if you explained that you cant' get good at something unless you practice and that when he used to go down on you before that he was doing a really good job might encourage him to participate a little more. I hope this helps
this is simple. you do NOT go down on him, until he starts going down on you (he goes first).
If you don't get any he better not get any!
It's been over a year since you added this question.
Are you still with this guy?
If you are did you finally get him to come around and start eating your pu**y like a good guy?
well all I got to say is if he don't do it to you thin stop doing it to him or tell him how or what he should do and mybe he will compromise and at least try it agian and give him positive renforsment tell him how good it feels though it may not be the best.
Don't make it an option. If he doesn't like it, he can pretend. If he's not good at it, he can learn.
It's inexcusable. Men who won't eat out should give up their girls to those who will.
Oh, wait--that happens already.
Your boyfriend doesn't understand the joy and fulfillment of being able to fully satisfy a woman in bed.
Tell him the only way you will blow him is if you guys do a 69, and he'll be more into it while he does it too
I don't know about other girls but......I hate 69, I get NO FEELING WHATSOEVER! He said he didn't like that either neways. The whole point is that for once, it's about ME getting pleasure not just him.
I don't like to do that either. I like to only focus on myself when I'm being pleasured orally.
69 is distracting, I can't get off at all. Neither job gets done well.
He probably didn't like it specifically because he didn't get the feeling that he was particularly good at it. Fun as it is, it is a lot of work, and having confidence in what to do is key. Confidence and sex go right together, especially for guys, who feel they have to perform.
I strongly recommend checking out "She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman" by Ian Kerner. A lot of things in there made me go, "Oh, _that's_ what I'm supposed to be doing!" XD
Definitely increased my motivation to, er, practice.
I agree with him. Your boyfriend needs to stop thinking so much of only his pleasure and learn how to satisfy you as a woman.
GIRL! Stop doing it! My boyfriend has yet to go down on me and you think I'll go down on him? Hell to the naw! He's being really selfish.
Well if you want it badly, just don't do it to him. You just said he did it when you guys were first
together, so remember him that you like it and he did do it right just encourage him. I know it sounds weird but you have to have COMMUNICATION and a relationship.
good luck.
I dunno, all guys are different so it could be a lot of things. He may hang around a lot of guys that he might think would look down on him if they found out he ate a girl out. Or maybe he just finds it meticulous and would rather just give you the real deal - I know alotta fellas like this.
You may just have take matters into your own hands, tie him to the bed, and sit on his face...lol
then quit giving him head or find a real man to take care of you ! .its ladies first doesn't sound like he knows that . he says
( I don't like )it grow up buddy! eating p**** is part of life! if you want a good sex life !
tell him you'll show him what you like spread your self for him and explain to him what part's he should be paying attention to. (hope that wasn't as rude as I think it sounded)
thats some bullshit because whose to say you like sucking his dick? you might not enjoy it but your doing it to please him! right? If I were you I wouldn't do it and when confronted I would tell him "I don't like it, I'm not good at it" etc. you know his excuses. If he don't like it and wants his bj then you better tell him to "lick it now, lick it good" lol! its only fair. giving and receiving.
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