Sexual Health
+1 y

My boyfriend watches Porn....WTF

most f***ed up story,..since I'm against watching porn at first I would never snoop through my mans shit, I believe if you don't look for trouble you don't find it...so then I started having these weird dreams about him, and then my 6th sense told me something gotta be checked up with him... i was chilling with him in his house & the history button caught my eye..as he was out of the room I went through it and found MAD MAD MAD porn. he later denied it..yet I got through to him and he said I'm sorry I didn't want to make you sad. ok I understand that but then he said "its not even wrong I'm not gonna feel bad about it, most guys do it" wtf m so confused I asked him if he wants something different and he said no what's going on y would he not want just me...I'm not ugly, I have nice body, I f*** him like 2-3 times a day, I'm a good girlfriend :(
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+1 y
IT WAS LIVE CHAT
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Most Helpful Girls

  • I understand that you're insecure, I get insecure too. I also understand that guys are horn dogs, it's just their nature.

    My boyfriend has given me a lot of explanations as to why he does it, and he says the same that it's not that he wants other girls better, whatever. He does a lot to reassure me though, and it's great, it's comforting. I guess for all the other things he does for me (he's a great boyfriend), yeah then he can wank to his online sluts.

    Although I don't know how I'd feel if he were checking out cam girls. He's said he thinks they're boring though, 'cause he looks at porn more for the acts (yeah right, but that's what he says). He usually checks Redtube.

    What I don't understand is why so many women/men hate on girls who are insecure. Good for you if you're 100% secure in yourselves and nothing affects you. Yeah this is a sex issue, not a big deal, eh? But what if she was feeling insecure 'cause she lost her job promotion to a more qualified person? Bet you'd think it'd be ok to feel insecure then. Well it's the same.

    Guess what people a lot of women feel insecure about this things. IT'S NORMAL, DEAL WITH IT! We learn to deal with guys watching porn and accept it and not nag them, then you learn to deal with us getting insecure sometimes. It's compromise. Shit, women like feeling gorgeous especially to their boyfriend/husband, that's why we get insecure.

    I love getting attention from other guys/flirting a bit, but guess what I don't do it because it pisses my boyfriend off. When we're out together I dress up nice but not showing anything or else he'll be mad if other guys check me out.

    He can watch porn as long as I don't hear about it. I also never want any other guys and stop it with Brad Pitt already not all women like him, I don't like blonde guys, so I don't like him and even if I did I just don't fantasize about others, but well I guess I have to understand he's different and not because I feel one way he'll feel the same.

    But that's just me. Anyway, stop hating on people just because they feel different from you. And that goes both ways.

  • you should chill. everyone is entitle to their own beliefs and you obviously feel very strongly about the porn but you gotta understand that your man obviously does not feel the same way and if you are that good of a girlfriend then honestly you should respect that because there are worse things he can be doing like cheating. But there are a few things to be concerned about here. 1- you don't have an open relationship. you get the bad feelings that somethings not right.. those are your instincts and you gotta trust them. if you get the bad feelings 2 often than he's prob not right for you. also, you shouldn't have had to find out that way about the porn. which is partly his fault for not telling you even tho it's important to you, but also your fault for flipping out about it. if you want ur man to be honest with you, then you gotta b cool and show that you can handle the truth even if it hurts.

    Also, honestly, he's right everybody watches porn. and I'm sure there are SOME guys out there who don't or who it isn't such a big deal for but still... don't take it as a personal attack on you. unless he's actling like a porn freak and actin weird when you guys are having sex or treating you bad because of it, then what is there 2 worry about? the guy is just entertainging himself when ur not around. you liek to watch tv right? well guys like women, sex and nudity... so porn is perfect for them. nonetheless, you both need to be more open and understand and find some compromise. because he'll either keep lying to you and watch them in secret, or he'll resent you for trying to change him or for not respecting his beliefs/wishes.

  • it is addiction yes,but guys should know when or what is right for their relationship..and for you girly,most girls do not mind having their guys watching porns,that is something you cannot take away from men,or if it is hard foryou to see ur man watching porn,it is a lot harder finding a man that doesn't like porn almost impossible..

    live chat is bad,it leads to sneaking out if they have chance to meet..

    the best thing you can do is try and try and accept the fact,watch it together ..his fault was he lied,and the fact that you do not like it he should respect that..he should have been hiding it from you reli well delte the history not watch it on ur face..(if it is the only idea to feed his addiction)..

    ur man isn't a new born when you met him..good relatinship is compromise fairly,better understanding if reasons are appropraite..watching porn doesn't mean he likes you less than the girls there,NO! it gives them idea on what to do with you and you should know that.its their sex school..soo just chill,tell him nomore live chats and watch porn if you're wih me only,something like that..(thats hard when you live apart) if he reli love you and care for your concern and compromise to you,he shoulnt be sneaking around..

Most Helpful Guys

  • I can see that it has hurt you that he was watching porn and lied about it. He was afraid of your reaction so he lied about it and that's not cool. He needs to man up and tell you the truth about these things. That being said, if he had have told you would you have still been upset? The answer is yes. You want to be his everything, his one and only. You want to know that he adores you and there is no other for him. You want to feel safe that he'll always love you.

    Women who focus on themselves tend to forget that the most important part of a relationship is the other person. Have you thought about his sexual needs beyond what your doing for him three times a day? Do you feel inadequate sexually? You should think about his needs and they are needs. You shouldn't feel inadequate as men are beyond horny and very few, if any women can hold marathon with a man sexually.

    The last, final, and perhaps most important point is that sex is NOT love. That's why we call one sex and the other love. Equating sex to love is madness. If you are in a relationship with someone you love then you want them to be happy.

    There are many things women want their man to do for them that he is not crazy about doing but he loves doing it because he knows it will please you. This is love. Love does things for the other and enjoys doing it even though it sucks because it pleases your love.

    So it is with his sexual needs. Your not crazy about porn but you let him do his thing because it helps him and it pleases him. His only other alternative I might point out is to go out and actually have sex with sluts. You either love him the way he is, and he is a normal, healthy man, or you reject him for his biology. "The very thing that brought you together in the first place."

    I might also point out that you say you F*** him three times a day as if it is a grudging service and that you don't enjoy it. This may not be the case but it is coming across that way. If you don't enjoy your sex with him that may be part of the problem. He's emotionally unsatisfied. Just a thought.

    • I dunno--I have huge sex appetite and have gone round for round with a guy--I also watch porn too--lol...

    • Hmm... I 've never met my match. I suppose I will eventually. lol.

  • Porn is an addiction. It stimulates the same pleasure receptors in the brain that heroin, cocaine, meth, whatever. Just because "everybody is doing it," and many people keep trying to say there is "nothing wrong with it" (a self-serving argument if I have ever heard one), does not make it so.

    You can't compete with porn. The girls are selected for their beauty, there are thousand's of them, if you are willing to search you can find them doing anything, and even if it is amateur or something else, it requires no investment from the watcher to get the turn-on and get-off. Real people require effort and investment. Real relationships require investment and compromise, porn doesn't.

    • Wat you said in both ur answers are very very true, even my frend here agrees

    • The person that started this is under the age of 18. I doubt she understands what porn is all about. If she was old enough and could actually legally watch porn she would understand that they are all actors. What's the difference betwee na porn actor and a hollywood actor? They both play their parts, follow their roles and look good on camera. Honestly porn is not addicting, there's no chemicals going into your body, that's all a bunch of BS.

    • Lolfreddy, study a little neurochemistry and the biological roots of addiction and you will understand how porn can be addictive. Until you know your neurology and biology a little better you should be careful not to post definitive statements when you don't know the empirical evidence.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • As much as I'm against boyfriends and girlfriends watching porn at all...let me just say for a guy its a completly visual thing! He doesn't like the girl he's watching but he likes what they're doing. If he loves you then just go up to him and say hey can I watch it with you, maybe you could get some ideas. If you show him that you're willing to understand why he does it and you want to be a part of it instead then he'll probly jump for joy rather than you judging him for it.

  • A guy once told me that porn is something that start thoughts about sex. He admitted that porn girls were hot but when most guys are thinking about a girl that they know and not necessarily the porno girl. He says porn is just good enough for a quick release and guys just like to jack off.

  • Porn is fantasy. Just because he watches it does not mean he desires you less. Don't feel rejected because of it. Most Men, loose the desire after awhile. Just let it go and don't talk about it anymore.

    He showed he cared about your feelings, I am sure it all will be ok, you should not feel threatened by the porn but if you are, ask yourself why.

    Good Luck

  • hahaha. every guy watches porn. its not you or your fault in any way. its not his either. whether they deny it or not 99% of guys watch it. its just natural for guys. we have way more sexual tension than girls so its different. your gonna have to live with it in every guy. married men even do it. I have a girlfriend and I do it. its not a huge deal. he doesn't want them instead of you he just needs to release tension and you sound like a great gf. 2-3 times a day. that's a lucky guy!

    • I get what you're saying about p*rn being common among guys. But you're mistaken when you write that guys have more sexual tension than girls. Many women - myself included - would give 10 blowjobs to be able to have sex 2-3 times a day. We're WAAAY more sexually frustrated than guys, because guys finish a lot faster than girls and then just roll over and don't help us orgasm. Read my lips: MULTIPLE ORGASMS. A lot of chicks get turned off to sex because they can't even get ONE orgasm!

    • You would think that we'd be the ones watching p*rn. But we're not, because p*rn is geared towards guys, not girls. P*rn shows us everything a girl must do to please a guy. You think girls don't wanna see hot guys, like guys wanna see hot girls? Show me a p*rn site where the guys are as hot as the girls, and you'll make me (and a lot of other women) much happier campers about the whole p*rn thing.

  • Yes, live chat is normal too, e.e it's just like having an online stripper or something, it's interactive porn that can respond to what you want it to do. Those girls who do it aren't using it for a dating service, it's not like he's going to go out and f*ck them or anything. It's not like he's imagining them when he's having sex with you... that's just not how it is. It might be hard for you to grasp that concept, but guys can have sexual release without any emotional attachment. Thus getting off to some kind of live chat porn online has nothitng to do with wanting those women or thinking they're better than you. It's just an aid to a physical release.

    And of course he's going to lie to you about it. Most guys dont' like admitting to their girlfriends that they watch porn for a couple of reasons. First of all we know that we're probably not going to stop even if she asks us to and it will compel us to lie to end the argument, which we don't want to do, but if it's a choice between that or her staying pissed... well the lie will usually win out unfortunately. And secondly we know that a lot of girls aren't very understanding of it, and will be insecure about it, be hurt by it, etc. so we hide it to spare their feelings since we never seem able to produce a good enough explanation that will make you realize that we're not looking for other women, or wishing you were them, or thinking that they're better than you or any shit like that.

    • Then if that's true..y am I JUST not enough...i f*** him 3 times a day....i DO EVERYTHING he wants in bed...and strippers and going to strip clubs is just as bad.....f*** the emotional connection its not that...if he really just wanted me and loved me he wudnt even think about it

    • Okay well obviously there's no talking any sense into you. This is hopeless and you're going to be a very lonely person one day if you don't learn to get past those insecurities. If that's how you think of it then no guy will ever really love you or want you cause they're always still going to do this. Maybe when you grow up you'll learn.

    • You would think any of the reasons you mentioned above in the second paragraph would be a good argument against porn.

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  • As everyone else has said porn has nothing to do with wanting other women. It doesn't mean you're a bad girlfriend or that he thinks you're ugly, or that he wishes he could be with other women or anything like that. It's really just a visual aid for jerking off. And guys at his age jerk off nigh constantly, lol. Maybe if he's getting sex from you pretty often then not quite as often, but most guys that age are still capable of cumming like 4-5 times a day or more.

    You seriously just need to get used to it. I'm sorry if that's not what you want to hear, but it's true. All guys will do it, we have a biological desire to release our seed as often as possible, and girlfriends are not always there 24/7 to help us do so.

    Trying to make him feel guilty for watching porn or implying that it's wrong is going to ruin your relationship cause you'll make him feel like he needs to lie to you about it, which he will. He'll tell you he's gonna stop and he won't... and you'll find out about it and get mad... and the cycle will continue.

    Also, stay out of your guy's computer history. That's a huge invasion of privacy. How can you say it's not? He was gone for a bit, so you took advantage of the situation and invaded his privacy. How would you like it if he opened your diary? (if you had one)... You can call that a stupid analogy but it's pretty similar invasion of privacy.

    In summation, guys watch porn... deal with it. You're not going to find a guy outside of maybe priests who don't. and they're generally not available to date. You need to learn to be comfortable with it because it never means that your guy wants something other than you or isn't satisfied with you. If he wanted somethint else, he'd ask for it, or he'd go get something else. If he wasn't satisfied with you he wouldn' tbe having sex with you and would probably have left by now.

    • Im not making him feel wrong..i just left end of story I don't need that shit wtf I f*** him like 3 times a day...and usually he can't even come after that . n I always tell my frends not to snoop..if I would have oped a year earlyer I would have never even dated him..the reason I snooped is becz for a whole week I was having bad dreams about him, and I just lost all trust for him for no reason..it was weird the reason I checked, but wow it hurt. I think that wen we have sex he imagines those girls :(

    • Okay, well you have some serious trust and insecurity issues then. If he was with you that means he likes you and is NOT imagining those girls. Sure some guys are like that, but for the most part, that's not what porn is about. And even if it's live chat, then so what? That's just live porn. It's not like he's having sex with those girls. It's just like having porn on demand that can react to what you want it to do. I really think you're overreacting to this. You need to get over this

    • This hyper-jealousy oversensitivity., it's a very unattractive trait and if you continue on like this you're going to be very lonely in your life. I suggest you learn to deal with it or become a lesbian, sorry if that sounds cruel, but that's just the way it is. Porn is a masturbation aid... nothing else. Also, having bad dreams is STILL not an excuse for invading your boyfriend's privacy. That's about one of the worst excuses I've ever heard.

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  • Well...if there's any consolation to this its that he's not out doing this with someone for real. Men have fantasies just as women do. The love you do have for each other can never be taken over by a porno. In fact something you two can do is watch one together...in 2 ways it could help...you can understand what he likes/dislikes about the sex you're having and you will seem all the better as a girlfriend to him. Most men would probably agree that watching a porno with their girl can be hot. Porn is taboo none the less. Maybe having sex with him 2-3 times daily is getting boring (how I dunno) to him and he needs something new that you can give him

    • I wish I could believe you, when you say that the love you have for each other can never be taken over by a p*rno. You know it is, though, when he says other women are hot and doesn't say anything about you. And also when he won't let you watch p*rn with him, even when you ask to. Aren't relationships supposed to be about honesty with each other? I think girls would be cooler with p*rn if guys actually talked about it and opened up about it, instead of hiding it. It's the hiding it that hurts.

  • men and women watch p*rn not becuase there partner isn't doing there job or nothing like that they just watch it for fun to ( get off ) some people are addicted to it tho and that's not good but most people just do if just to do it don't take it personal at all infact my boyfriend and I watch them together it made us closer and more open to each other but if you don't want to do that and if it really upsets you talk to him about it and if he don't stop ( and he won't ) then you got a big choice to make

  • the thing with most women is that they take offense when dudes want to watch porn, its normal! it has nothing to do with the broads being cuter than you, or those are *really* his type- its all fantasy and its all good. porn is totally fine. get over it.

    HOWEVER, I saw that you mentioned he was in a live chat, and that is NOT OK. that counts as cheating, sorry boys.

  • What's wrong with watching porn? I watch porn and I'm a girl. When guys masturbate they dream of any girl they want. That doesn't make them better than you. He is obviously with you because h loves you. It's like you having sex with brad pitt. I don't' think you have anything to worry about. He obviously loves you since he didn't want to hurt you. and like he said A LOT of guys do it, it's part of nature!

    • Honestly that's wats the worst part about it.....i NEVER wanted anothert guy during our whole going out thing

    • &&& it was live chat....live woman in front of a web cam..thats normal too?

    • Live chat isn't normal. But like you said he can't like what you offer him.. So why should he be with you if you can't accept him for who he is and what he does. Nagging will get you no where sweetie

  • porn is disgusting.

    on the other hand, very few guys are going to stop just because you don't like it.

    it has nothing to do with you (at least in most cases) or wanting you.

    i pretend it doesn't exist, end of story.

    also this is a really old question, but I've already typed up an answer. oh well

  • well pretty much every guy looks at porn and I don't know why but I think there is nothing wrong with it. I say forgive and forget. yes even though you have a good body guys will look at porn. that just a guy for you.

  • Porn is just fine. There is no reason that anyone should feel bad or guilty about watching it. I would not be upset in the slightest if I found out that a boyfriend of mine were watching it. What does it have to do with how he feels about me? Nothing at all. You are just fine too. Except perhaps you should be more relaxed about your boyfriend watching people have sex.

  • I think you may be over reacting just a little bit, he's a guy, let him do his thing. His watching porn is in no way a sign that he isn't completely into you.

    • It was live chat....live woman in front of a web cam..thats normal too?

    • Now I completely understand where you're coming from, it was definitely wrong of him to be in live chat with her.

  • Every guy watches porn; you may as well get used to it now. Trust me, it has absolutely nothing to do with you or how great you are. Just turn a blind eye and accept that this is something he's going to continue to do, whether he's honest with you about it or not.

    • It was live chat....live woman in front of a web cam..thats normal too?

    • No, that's totally not okay. Watching porn or looking at playboy is fine, but actually interacting with people is NOT ok. Tell him you're fine with him checking out videos on youpon or redtube, but that the live chats have to stop.

  • Most guys have probably seen porn or even sought it out at some time. That does not mean that all guys look at porn regularly. I really cannot believe how many people want to defend something that is clearly causing distress to many women and damaging many relationships. It is natural to have a sex drive. It is not natural to satisfy it whenever you feel like it--that is just undisciplined and selfish hedonism. We are not animals incapable of controlling our physical desires. Human beings are much more than sex drives that need to be satisfied, and focusing on that to the exclusion of more important and necessary things will ultimately leave you very unbalanced and unsatisfied.

    It is disturbing that so many men and even women (I can't believe how many women accept this!) have adopted the position that "porn is inevitable and men can't control it and will do it no matter what, so women you better just get used to it." That is selfish, men! Respect your women, and women in general more than that. Exercise some restraint if it is only because you love the women in your lives and this hurts them. You don't hurt who you love unless you love them less than what you hurt them with. Love is about sacrifice as much as it is about satisfaction. It is misguided and immature to think that sexual indulgence should be the defining characteristic of a relationship. If it is then it is a very shallow relationship indeed.

    • Wow thanx you really made me feel better :) ye I was kinda shocked 2 that a lot of girls thinks its okay....im just glad that there are normal guys like you out there :) ur probably gonna make ur wife really really happy....i hope with all my heart that I will find a man like you into my life..because we actually broke our 1 year relationship over ths...and to think I was gonna give in and accept it into my life like everybody is telling me...well I know better now<3333333333

  • Porn is entertainment for us guys. Porn to us is what shopping and chocolate is to you girls. You are unnecessarily getting jealous of the girls in porn. No one wants to have a relationship with them (at least the characters in the video or the movie or the picture). We like you for more than just sex. Also, watching porn is not like having sex with a real woman.

    SO, just join in with your guy and watch porn and enjoy it together. The sex afterwards would be mind blowing.

    • No... P*rn is to guys what getting eaten out is to girls. It is a super hot treat for us! Do you know how infrequently guys do that, compared to how many blowjobs most chicks give? Forgive me if you're one of the awesome dudes out there who eats out your girl. We would love more guys like you.

  • All guys like porn. Porn leads to. . .we'll call it "reading a magazine". When we want to read a magazine we want something to arouse us, like porn. You can be super hot and horny 24/7, it won't stop any guy from reading a magazine.

    Porn isn't a form of disrespect towards you, its just something guys like to watch when they need to read a magazine.

    Yeah it's a How I Met Your Mother thing.

    • It was live chat....live woman in front of a web cam..thats normal too?

    • Er, I wouldn't say its normal. And yeah I guess you do have a right to be upset. In fact, I overlooked that he lied about it when you asked him in the first place. What else is he willing to lie about? If it upsets you then talk to him seriously about it and how it makes you feel. If he chooses it over you, time to leave.

  • All men watches porn but that doesn't mean there out doing things that's wrong. The thing is most guys that do watch porn Do become Addicting to it. But others just want some thing to improve them selves maybe they feel insecure( yes, guys have it bad too). It's not that he wants to get up the next mini skirt he sees. He just wants to boost his mojo (ego.). If you want him to stop just ask him if he refuse compromise.

  • porn is awesome. I've watched it with bf's in the past. and I watch it alone whether I'm single or not. its not that he doesn't want you, trust me girl, he does.

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