Sexual Relationships
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Asked a friend to be FWB, got rejected and feel like a dumass

To protect the privacy of everyone its better to ask this anonymously. Long story short, I become descent friends with this girl in my school. Since day one we were really open to each other about everything. Today she told me of one of her wild sex nights, like how she had sex with 5 guys in one night. I have found her atractive, asked directly, honestly and strait forward how she felt about us becoming friends with benifits. She said no right away. She wasn't a bitch about it. This happened today at school and now I can't even focus on anything, I feel like a dumbass. I don't know how to socialise with her anymore because just being open with each other about things makes me too horny and now that I know she is not atracted to me, no more exitment in flirting. I do not think of this girl as a slut nor want anything bad to happen to her. She is still my friend and I still respect her and will continue to treat her like a human being. I am a 26 year old virgins and today was the first time I had the couridge to recomend friends with benefits to a friend. Date rejections don't make me feel as dumb as I do now.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Well, it's unfortunate, but rejection is just part of life.

    It's good you don't feel anything bad towards her because of the rejection. But really, you've no need to feel like a dumbass.

    In life, if you don't ask... you don't get. When you do ask, you don't always get, but sometimes you do.

    At least making the effort to ask, puts you way ahead of many of the guys on GAG.

    When it comes to socialising with her in the future, yeah the frisson may be gone because she said no.. but look at it this way : She's still someone you can practice your flirting skills on. She's still a female friend you can ask for advice and talk to, which is always good to have. She's still an attractive girl who's a friend, and other girls won't assume you're a creepy loner guy if she's one of your friends. And finally, for someone who has sex with 5 guys in one night, sex isn't exactly the most sacred thing in the world - there's every possibility she might change her mind in the future.

    • Change of hearts is a cute story that fits those Hollywood movies but in the world we live in its known as lost hope. No girl wants to be the only option of a guy and at the same time no girl wants to be the second choice of a guy. On the other words And I won't cry for yesterday, there's an ordinary world somehow I have to find and as I try to make my way to the ordinary world I will learn to survive''' Speaking of survival, in school she is no where near the only girl who likes chillin with me

  • Yeah, rejection can make you feel terrible! It's about the worst feeling in the world... not only is there a sense of loss (or having lost something). But also of being worthless.

    It happens all the time. More so in the world of relationships (FWB is a form of a "relationship"... even if without one). Don't take it personal. Sometimes, rejection can only spur you on to greater things and proving yourself better...

    • At the age of 12, the first girl I wanted to marry at the first sight, At the age of 22 I met the girl who is by far my closest one to perfection, and at the age of 25 I met the most unique minded cute girl. Each of these single while I met them, all their names start with the same letter, and in simple words too good to be true, even as a casual, inspirational and social friend. Together they form what I call The Trinity. What happens to me is not normal, its Faith sayn you are good 4 nothing.

    • Girls can be fickle and choosy! Trust me. If they want you, they'll go out for the kill. If not, nothing you do can convince them! They can sometimes be like a runaway train, over which you have no control. Don't let this demoralise you or dent your sense of self-worth...

Most Helpful Girls

  • Don't feel dumb, can't blame a guy for asking, it is the ones who never asks that always wonder, but now you know.

    Honestly, keep searching. A friend, she may be good as, a girlfriend, do you want one that sleeps with 5 guys the same day? Now, another honesty thing...is it attraction, or is it lust? There is a thin line sometimes between the two.

    You're 26, if there is no one you are interested in near you, honey you have the internet, check out some single sites. But find someone who will appreciate a 26 year old vigin, if you are not looking for someone for the rest of your life, hey, go meet someone and see where it leads.

    Best of luck to you, and you have nothing to feel dumb about. Do not let that stop you from asking somone else out.

    • I agree. She probably has loads of stds. 5 in one day? Yuck. Pornstar status.

    • Nice guys finnish last I guess. Oh about that online dating, the dating sites here are all about getting the attention and not giving anything in return, not even a thank you when I wish them good future after they have read and ignored to say anything. My only chance is in comedy clubs I perform in. That helps me get new contacts but till now girls have just put me in that meaningless friendzone. But still I will stop at nothing in bringin out the best in them angel eyes.

  • hey at least you had the courage to ask. you don't need to feel like a dumbass, rejection happens to EVERYONE.u probably don't want to have sex with a walking STD factory anyway lol. but there will be other girls out there. just socialize with her normally and forget it ever happened. hey for all you know, she might have some friends you can meet through her that would be down for whatever

    • STD factory? Scary choice of words... The girl I asked that FWB is f***able, not dateable to me. I made it clear to her. On the other words her friendship is expendable even though she doesn't know it. If the ultimate girl of my dreams had STDs, rejected me to protect me, I would marry her and dedicate my Soul purpose in uniting research teams in the hopes of finding the cure.

  • Don't let what she says and chooses to do or not to do affect how you feel or what you think of yourself. Choose not to feel like a dumbass because you're not. You're a human being with normal feelings and wants. Let the momentary weirdness pass then get back to being good friends if you can.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 5

  • "Today she told me of one of her wild sex nights, like how she had sex with 5 guys in one night. "

    wow this makes me never want to sleep with a women again...thats repulsive...

    • I just got turned down by her, shows how weak my seduction skills are.

    • 2 thumbs down scared me even more...im assuming girls gave that to me...which means they've probably done something similar...i mean wtf, 5 guys, one night...sounds like the aftermath of 2 girls one cup... and its not that your seduction skills are weak man, you just have to follow your heart, which you did...not everyone can love you back, rejection is a part of life...you just gotta keep trying...the more "no's" you get, the closer you'll be to a "yes"

    • This is still better than females in the Muslim world who have no choice who they marry. If a girl likes to ride that much is her freedom and no one should take those rights away from anyone.

    • Show All

  • How do you know she isn't attracted to you automatically, just because she said no?

    • Oh, and by the info you gave us and how you asked, I really don't think its nearly as bad as you think it is. Plus, do you really want to lose your virginity to a slut like her? Seriously.. 5 different guys in one night? Wouldn't be surprised if she has a few stds, and some really bad ones Next time you see her, don't mention it again and act like you guys were before.

    • Exactly. Do you really want to lose your virginity to someone that would sleep with 5 guys in one night?

    • Nameless: Girls and guys aren't that different, everybody wants the one who is the best in their eyes. Only difference is their ability to let go of their ultimate dreams and settle for less. Obviesly a rejection from a girl means the guy is not good enough. I would never reject a girl's invite to her bed if I was atracted to her physically. SkinnyG: Check out my answer to Pr3ttyBr0wn and then comment

    • Show All

  • You did fine.

    Breathe. Deep and slow.

    You can stay friends with her, but dial it down a little, and pursue other girls.

    Its fine.

    • I am trying to breathe it out but can't stop laughing at myself after this day.

  • Rejection is part of life unfortunately just try it on the next female.

    • Like 2pac said, life goes on

    • "I ain't got time for bitches Gotta keep my mind on my mothaf***en riches even when I die"-Tupac

  • What's the question then? Not meaning to be rude.

    • Share your thoughts on how to continue friendship in school after getting rejected from a friendly request to go have fun in bed.

    • Gotcha, sorry. Hmm. Personally, if someone gave me this proposition, I'd be flattered. I think that she must have not wanted to potentially risk her friendship with you because it sounds really strong. She's seen movies where people try friends with benefits and it doesn't work and she doesn't want to risk that I think. That being said if you have such a strong friendship, this should be not too bad to get over. Just talk to her like normal, listen to her stories, add in your opinion and all that.

    • If it was your friendship she's concerned over she should be happy tht you're back to treating her normally in her mind. Also she seems to not really value sex like most people I know, like five guys in a night... Maybe she cares about you too much to make you just another one of her flings. Try to that and lose your vCard to them and get practice and then further down the road try again with this girl. Who knows? Maybe an opportunity will come up! Just talk to her like normal. It'll be ok!

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  • So try going out with someone else, Bcuz if she can have as that much fun at parties & what not, so can U!

    -A

    • I have asked out a lot of girls on dates, gotten rejected and but this time I just had to release what was on my mind so why not forget all games, tricks, and stuff when you could just speak strait from the heart and say what you think and feel.

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