After a sequence of successful and unfortunately less than successful relationships, I've come to notice a few feelings that you should NEVER ignore in a relationship.
1) The feeling that the relationship is changing or that your partner is distant. And worse yet - when you ask them they say nothing is up.
Never doubt yourself on this one. You know better than anyone else how things normally feel, and if your partner disagrees it's likely they're experiencing their own issue that stops them seeing it. Bring it up, if it continues, bring it up again. Use examples (less sex, doesn't text you just to say hi, making less plans with you, bad moods, not chatty) be clear about what you're noticing and always ask if there's anything you've done or could do to help. Make sure you don't mistake this for the end of the 'honey moon period' in a new relationship, but don't ever ignore it.
2) The feeling that your partner no longer puts you first.
Now ladies, I don't mean that in a 'he should always hang out with me no matter what' kind of way. What I mean is, he shouldn't always have money to spend to go out with his mates but when you want to go out - suddenly there's no cash or time. If you ask him to come to your game or to your parent free house and he's not busy - there should be no excuse for saying no.
3) The feeling that your partner wants to be right, rather than understand why you're hurt.
When you fight or get upset with your man, and he just wants to say why he's right rather than make an effort to understand what actually upset you (granted you speaking nicely to him and explaining it clearly as you can), there's a problem. Regardless of thinking that you're being a bit over the top about something - if it upsets you, your guy should want to at least discuss how to do things differently to spare your feelings, even if he doesn't agree.
4) The feeling that you sacrifice and compromise a lot, but get nothing in return.
This one is a difficult one because you often don't see it until the relationship is over. Do you go with his plans all the time because he rarely will attend yours, even if you do? Are there things you swore to yourself that you would never allow in a relationship again, but have foregone for him? Do you not talk about things when he upsets you cause he refuses to understand why you are upset? This is a sign of someone who isn't giving 100% to the relationship.
You should always be able to talk to your close friends about your man. Good or bad. If you can't tell them about how you caught him texting that other girl now he's 'sorry' and is 'making it up to you' cause you think it will ruin their attitude towards him or they will tell you to RUN ... then run. Your close friends know what they're talking about when it comes to you. Listen to them. You don't have to follow their advice but always keep it in mind. Take it seriously. Don't let him make you sweep big things under the rug with his sweet talking. Some things aren't OK, and your girlfriends will point it out.. because they care about you!
Overall, trust your gut and communicate. Don't wait for things to get better, because they might in the short term... but in the long run, you'll be mad at yourself for ignoring something you knew was happening.
1) The feeling that the relationship is changing or that your partner is distant. And worse yet - when you ask them they say nothing is up.
Never doubt yourself on this one. You know better than anyone else how things normally feel, and if your partner disagrees it's likely they're experiencing their own issue that stops them seeing it. Bring it up, if it continues, bring it up again. Use examples (less sex, doesn't text you just to say hi, making less plans with you, bad moods, not chatty) be clear about what you're noticing and always ask if there's anything you've done or could do to help. Make sure you don't mistake this for the end of the 'honey moon period' in a new relationship, but don't ever ignore it.
2) The feeling that your partner no longer puts you first.
Now ladies, I don't mean that in a 'he should always hang out with me no matter what' kind of way. What I mean is, he shouldn't always have money to spend to go out with his mates but when you want to go out - suddenly there's no cash or time. If you ask him to come to your game or to your parent free house and he's not busy - there should be no excuse for saying no.
3) The feeling that your partner wants to be right, rather than understand why you're hurt.
When you fight or get upset with your man, and he just wants to say why he's right rather than make an effort to understand what actually upset you (granted you speaking nicely to him and explaining it clearly as you can), there's a problem. Regardless of thinking that you're being a bit over the top about something - if it upsets you, your guy should want to at least discuss how to do things differently to spare your feelings, even if he doesn't agree.
4) The feeling that you sacrifice and compromise a lot, but get nothing in return.
This one is a difficult one because you often don't see it until the relationship is over. Do you go with his plans all the time because he rarely will attend yours, even if you do? Are there things you swore to yourself that you would never allow in a relationship again, but have foregone for him? Do you not talk about things when he upsets you cause he refuses to understand why you are upset? This is a sign of someone who isn't giving 100% to the relationship.
"You should always be able to talk to your close friends about your man. Good OR bad. "5) The feeling that you can't tell your friends about the fight you and he are having, because you fear their response.
You should always be able to talk to your close friends about your man. Good or bad. If you can't tell them about how you caught him texting that other girl now he's 'sorry' and is 'making it up to you' cause you think it will ruin their attitude towards him or they will tell you to RUN ... then run. Your close friends know what they're talking about when it comes to you. Listen to them. You don't have to follow their advice but always keep it in mind. Take it seriously. Don't let him make you sweep big things under the rug with his sweet talking. Some things aren't OK, and your girlfriends will point it out.. because they care about you!
Overall, trust your gut and communicate. Don't wait for things to get better, because they might in the short term... but in the long run, you'll be mad at yourself for ignoring something you knew was happening.
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