Read This if You've Been Cheated On...

When I found out that I was cheated on, I felt worthless. I had been dating him for 3 months, but we were best friends for a year before. I had previous trust issues from my mother leaving and having several friends walk out on me. The last thing I needed was for someone who I found so much of my sense of worth in to betray me in such a degrading way. He too had trust issues. His mom did-and still currently does-hard drugs like meth and crack. His father is currently in jail and also left him at age 8.

I thought to myself, "If someone who has been hurt so bad throughout their entire life feels that I, someone who has been a constant supporter and a girlfriend who has given him my all, isn't good enough, then what is my worth?" I am not skinny. I am not the most beautiful girl in the world. So I almost felt WORTHY of this betrayal. I felt unworthy of love. If EVERYTHING I said to him, gave to him, thought for him, prayed for him, was not good enough, then I must be a foolish and ugly girl of no value, right? That is where I was wrong.

Another cheater's decision does not define you. However, for a while I let it. I was in love with him, and although he cared about me, it wasn't enough to keep him from making that decision. And that's not my fault. I stalked the girl he cheated on me with over social media and I compared myself to her. She was skinnier, and I thought that maybe had been the reason. No matter what the reason was, I did nothing wrong. I was a loyal, kind, faithful, dependent girlfriend. And I have unmeasurable worth! And so do you!

P.S. Rihanna, Beyoncé, and countless other beautiful women were cheated on. It just made me feel better for some reason.


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What Guys Said 14

  • I couldn't imagine cheating on a woman I love. Even if I wasn't head over heels, I still have too much honor and too honest a person to cheat. Granted, it is pretty easy to seduce a guy, especially if he finds you irresistibly attractive.

    I just know I wouldn't want to be cheated on, so why would I do that? Now if my woman treated me badly, I'd talk to women of interest before breaking up, but I still wouldn't screw around. If our relationship was on the rocks and I still adored my woman I would try to work it out and not stray. It takes willpower, discipline, honor, a willingness to take criticism and improve, for relationships to work.

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  • After I was cheated on all I thought was "Are you fucking kidding me? After a year of trying my best you're gonna pull this on me?" Naturally I ended it right there after a long conversation and then I remembered something I heard a while back: "I lost someone who obviously cares nothing for me, but she lost someone who cares for her. Who in the end is better off I wonder?" So I said it was her loss, burned the bridge, turned around, and left it behind. I know it's not always as easy as that. You might sit there and wonder if you did something wrong or if you could have done something different. In the end it happened the way way it did and It couln't have gone any other way. The past is set in stone but the future is always fluid.

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  • As a man, I can safely say that most of us men have a weakness, we have a lack of self control when it comes to sex, if a attractive girl seduces us and is willing to have sex with us, most of us even in a committed relationship with a girlfriend we love. We would still do it.

    We have to be careful not to inflate others ego's too much, when we make someone feel powerful, we put them in a position to use that power for personal advantages, and sometimes they use it against us. With power comes the temptation of corruption. Perhaps you trusted him too much and he couldn't handle that much power.

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    • That is a lie. You are weak and you do not speak for all men. Men growing up in this slut culture just as females growing up in this slut culture are in danger of falling into this trap BUT the people who follow their morals AND KNOW TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT AND DO IT will not fuck another person over like that SO DON'T YOU DARE SPEAK FOR ALL MEN just because you and the people who know are weak. I'm sorry if you haven't been exposed to true moral beings in your time but maybe this is what you need to hear. I wouldn't have cheated on my girlfriend when I was 13, I wouldn't do it now, and NOWHERE IN BETWEEN no matter if she was ripping my fucking pants off and lickin all over me. You can call me gay I don't give a flying fuck what anyone calls me anymore I do what I know to be right and if more people operated how I do the world would be a much better place and that's a promise

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    • 7d

      to everyone watching, my name is goochbreaker, his is graceful charm, and just know that those who are things do not need to advertise as such and good people don't go around preaching about how good they are, they do w/e the fuck they want because their actions speak louder than words. Everything works in this way. Know this as you see graceful charm condemn me completely based on a few bits of information. What a charmer

    • 7d

      @Goochbreaker
      You have been ignored, I didn't even read your last post. I won't read any other posts from you cuz I have given you plenty of chances to write something that could get my respect. But you have failed over and over. Nothing you write has any value to me.

  • I've been cheated on a lot when I first started dating. It doesn't mean that you are a bad person of no worth or anything. It just means that you don't have that much experience dating to filter out the people you actually don't wanna be with. Sometimes even the most experienced people fail at that. You know. You can't trust anyone. No one will love you and care for you more than you will. Just love yourself and care for yourself. People are assholes, so you know what to expect.

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  • A little bit of touch living builds character and grows a person, too much can break one. This guy is weak and has no control of his life. You are the moral being in a sea of shit, just be careful who you choose to invest yourself in because most all of them will be unworthy. Be honest with how attractive you are on a scale of 1/10 and find a guy who is within 1-2 points of you at most, and then that won't even be a worry. In any case I doubt it had anything to do with physical attraction stuff, people are just often shitty these days. You are worthy of love, anyone who acts as you do is; your path will be beset on all sides by the injustices and the inequities of the weak and the unworthy, and you will have to be strong enough to keep walking in a straight line. Good luck, and don't be afraid to be single forever if you have to to find someone right, I've never been with a girl for longer than 3 weeks haha and good thing I didn't stick around too

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  • I haven't been cheated on (because I never had a girlfriend in my life) but it's good, that you found the way out of there. Just remember, that cheaters aren't worthy for you and that you deserve much better than that.

    Take it this way: If you have been cheated on, then it's them, who have fucked up, not you. Their choice, their loss.

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  • Sorry this happened to you. ❤

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  • I was cheated on after 15 years of marriage. Your young you're going to have a lot more relationship pains. It is just a stepping stone of life.

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  • I think that if people are that forgone from their significant other, they should just leave.

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  • Cheating never really got to me as much as it should have. I don't cheat on people, it is just not possible for me... so things can get feeling pretty one sided with the wrong girl. In any case, if a girl cheated on me I quite certain i would turn into a swinger.

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  • Are they like that only to you, or also with anybody else?

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    • He was like that with someone else! I wrote above that he punched a wall (and left a dent) because I said I didn't trust him BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HIS PREVIOUS girlfriend

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    • I know, I learned that the hard way. I should have ended that relationship sooner but I wanted to fix him if that makes sense.

    • And because he knew that, he even took advantage of it.

  • Thanks

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  • don't feel bad because of a dick..

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  • If I'm cheated on I'd just move on with life.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Thank you

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  • Thank you!

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