I've cracked it.
So a guy flirted with and pursued me for the best part of a year consistently, only to turn me down when I made a move. He was then extremely rude about it and used me as a tool to bolster his self-image in front of his buddies (i.e. "I rejected her" etc).
At first I didn't like him, he was the typical sensitive guy - didn't know how to talk to girls, trying hard to mask his shyness. But we had stuff in common and I thought he was a nice guy so we became friends.
At first it was mutually platonic, but then I realized he had developed a crush on me and quite a lot of other people did too. It wasn't mutual, but he didn't say anything so we just let it go unsaid - this was for about 6 months maybe.
But as I got to know him, I got to know his personality more and he opened up a lot and I started to find him attractive towards the end of the year. Quite a few people told me he was in love with me and he even alluded to it himself. I could see he was gaining in confidence as the year progressed but he still didn't have a girl yet. He made a joke that if he asked me out I'd say no so I realized that I needed to show my interest. I became slightly flirty back but he still didn't make a move. I don't make a habit of hitting on guys (in fact I've never done it), but he was so shy with women and yet so flirty with me, that I felt it was the only way to make things progress.
As he previously hadn't had a good rep with women and his buddies used to laugh at him for never having had a girl, he then decided to use me for bragging rights to his friends (look I can get women, she hit on me and I rejected her etc).
This was someone I had considered a good friend, even if nothing else so I was horrified at the betrayal. He had every right to say no to me (although even that was bad considering he had been extremely flirtatious with me for an extended period of time - and not to any other girls i.e. he wasn't a serial flirt), but to treat me like that afterwards was horrific. He even made a joke about turning me down to another guy in front of my face.
He then seemed surprised that I was so angry with him and was shocked himself when I cut him out of my life. I haven't spoken to him for over half a year.
I haven't been able to get him nor the betrayal out of my mind and have thought about it for the best part of 6 months every day if not every hour.
Don't get me wrong... this dude was not my soul-mate and I am genuinely not saying this because I am bitter: I *HAVE* dated guys a lot more attractive/desirable with a lot more to offer than him.
It was more a spare of the moment thing I did by making a move, mainly because of his genuine seeming affection for me and our connection and how much we enjoyed each others' company (plus I had begun to find him attractive), but I wasn't in love with him... yet I now cannot get it off my mind. I know he is not "the one", especially not after how he treated me... so I don't get why I can't get over it.
I've now finally realized why.
This is my brain's way of protecting me. It is telling me: BE MORE CAREFUL NEXT TIME.
I'm not in love. I'm being warned.
I just thought I'd post this because I couldn't tell for so long why I couldn't "get over it", but now I realize I'm just being warned and heed the message it has helped a lot.
Hope this could be helpful to someone else going through a similar thing.