You lost me at blonde bitch. I've stepped outside my marriage and my husband forgave me. In fact, life is exactly like a baseball/ video game in that people do forgive. I would forgive my husband/boyfriend if they stepped out on me. This is not a fatal mistake. It's human. If you think the way you do, don't be surprised if you have trouble finding people.
@Trisha13 Yeah except most people don't actually "promise monogamy." It's the assumption that people make about each other because they're each too scared to tell each other what they want and need.
@OlderAndWiser Yea I agree with you 100% - It's like this You marry ONE person, you STAY with that one person if you are UNHAPPY you leave.. If you CHEAT you DON'T DESERVE forgiveness ever..
caps are really supposed to be bold *trying to get a point across* but she's lucky her husband forgave her, if it was me, I'd be gone like lightning, or even faster... Won't put up with cheating people, we deserve better
Oh I’m not telling you what you can’t do or can but I’m just saying also I’m surprised he forgave you. Must think he isn’t good enough for anyone else that he would drop himself to forgiving such a cheater. I’m not the bitch but you are for what you did you obviously don’t get that...
@Trisha13 Whatever. Marriage is designed to be monogamous but what about all the people who are happily polygamous? They still say the same words. If your logic is that you're mortally bound by that very phrase or whatever for the rest of your life, regardless of how unhappy you may be, what about the people who *say* the same thing but have sex with other people because their partners are cool with it? Doesn't that render those words meaningless then?
@xButterflyKisses87x The problem I have isn't that you are against cheating, but that you're acting as if you are somehow above any moral failings at all. Cheating is not something anybody sets out to like premeditated murder but that's what you make it sound like. And the fact that you *do* speak on who deserves forgiveness and who doesn't (and insult my husband in the process) and then go around and say you didn't.
@cherryphi82 Actually, I didn't insult him, I'm just saying he was wrong for forgiving you, like anyone forgiving anyone for cheating. Kind of funny you call that insulting because it's not. It sounds like you're saying, cheating just happens well honey it doesn't you obviously did it for a reason. I don't want to know your reason, and I'm not asking so don't assume I am. I pretty darn well am saying that your husband obviously deserves better because why? you cheated. If you were so unhappy with sex why didn't you just leave? Cheating on someone is wrong, if you wanted to be with other people you shouldn't of married
@xButterflyKisses87x You *are* assuming. You're saying it was about sex. I've never claimed I was a great wife nor that I'm somehow cleared of consequences for my actions. But for you to say that I don't deserve my relationship or any for that matter is completely not for you to say. And yes, you did call my husband dumb for taking me back. You have no idea what circumstances led to that. I've paid my dues. If you say that a person who cheats once should never be forgiven or doesn't deserve love/happy relationships, then that says more about what you lack.
I'm a believer of the once a cheater, always a cheater. And even if you cheat once and never do it again, I'll never trust you enough to stick around to find out.
Forgiving a cheater is giving him/her implicitly that he/she can do it again, because you're forgive next time too. It's that simple. If you can't keep your pants on, then you're out of my life. Not as an ex, not as a friend, not as a polite and neutral relationship. You're dead to me. From the moment I know to the moment I die, you will never, ever, receive any word or attention from me.
This is absolutely spot on. The damage cheating does to a person who is not a cheater themselves, is reprehensible. No, they do not deserve another chance.
As a man i find very intriguing and definitely interesting look into the female psyche and their perspective of a man's actions. It also confirms a few suspicions of mine. But i am also a firm believer of once a cheater always a cheater...
@Waftpermidgeon Wrong. Guys do not cheat because their woman isn't keeping them satisfied. Do you think that all a woman needs to do is have very frequent sex with her man and he will not cheat? As if it's HER fault if he cheats? That is a Neanderthal theory.
I don't think so because somebody that I know cheated and his girlfriend found out and she cried so hard that it really made him realise how terrible it was!
not really tbh i mean maybe when it comes to marriage then yeah but my ex used to be a cheater before he met me and ever since he met me he changed his ways to be with me and never cheated on me some guys can/will change if they really love you
He hasn't cheated on you as far as you know, and their is still time. Its possible he changed, but he will not change unless its for himself not you. That's why most people don't change despite having the capacity for it, nothing can make them change exept themselves.
Yes, people CAN change. That is not the issue. The issue is whether they WILL change. Very few people change in significant ways after they become an adult. Read the other responses on here. Very few people have the experience of giving a second chance to a cheater and having the relationship survive in a healthy way.
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You lost me at blonde bitch. I've stepped outside my marriage and my husband forgave me. In fact, life is exactly like a baseball/ video game in that people do forgive. I would forgive my husband/boyfriend if they stepped out on me. This is not a fatal mistake. It's human. If you think the way you do, don't be surprised if you have trouble finding people.
You "stepped out of your marriage?" Sometimes, people use euphemisms to take the jagged corners off of the truth.
I'm telling the truth, even if I don't use the verbiage you would choose...
"It's human."
The most cliched excuse to cheating.
It's also human to shout, doesn't mean that it's nice if you do it to someone.
@cherryphi82 This is a subject that's clearly near and dear to him. You're not going to convince him with reason. Don't bother.
It's not a mistake and it's not normal! It's bullshit to view a promise of monogamy as a joke. Normal people with morals DONT CHEAT
@Trisha13 Yeah except most people don't actually "promise monogamy." It's the assumption that people make about each other because they're each too scared to tell each other what they want and need.
@Anon-ymous1 Thank you! I see you understand where I'm coming from. Agree definitely with your explanation!
Someone's butthurt it seems.
@OlderAndWiser Yea I agree with you 100% - It's like this You marry ONE person, you STAY with that one person if you are UNHAPPY you leave.. If you CHEAT you DON'T DESERVE forgiveness ever..
@xButterflyKisses87x I hope none of you call yourselves Christian...
caps are really supposed to be bold *trying to get a point across* but she's lucky her husband forgave her, if it was me, I'd be gone like lightning, or even faster... Won't put up with cheating people, we deserve better
Hah why? you are?
@xButterflyKisses87x You're very naive.
@xButterflyKisses87x No, hun, caps mean yelling... and it's interesting you respond to this question with a counter question. Must have hit a nerve.
Oh I’m not telling you what you can’t do or can but I’m just saying also I’m surprised he forgave you. Must think he isn’t good enough for anyone else that he would drop himself to forgiving such a cheater. I’m not the bitch but you are for what you did you obviously don’t get that...
Uh huh sure. I can call judge on what tf I want and I’m judging you because your a cheating bitch and I have every right
@Anon-ymous1 uh, she said she was married. The VOWS to forsake all others and remain faithful. Sure sounds like a promise to me.
@Trisha13 Whatever. Marriage is designed to be monogamous but what about all the people who are happily polygamous? They still say the same words. If your logic is that you're mortally bound by that very phrase or whatever for the rest of your life, regardless of how unhappy you may be, what about the people who *say* the same thing but have sex with other people because their partners are cool with it? Doesn't that render those words meaningless then?
@xButterflyKisses87x The problem I have isn't that you are against cheating, but that you're acting as if you are somehow above any moral failings at all. Cheating is not something anybody sets out to like premeditated murder but that's what you make it sound like. And the fact that you *do* speak on who deserves forgiveness and who doesn't (and insult my husband in the process) and then go around and say you didn't.
@Anon-ymous1 I can't even have a logical conversation with someone like you haha Just no. To all you said 🙄
@cherryphi82 Actually, I didn't insult him, I'm just saying he was wrong for forgiving you, like anyone forgiving anyone for cheating. Kind of funny you call that insulting because it's not. It sounds like you're saying, cheating just happens well honey it doesn't you obviously did it for a reason. I don't want to know your reason, and I'm not asking so don't assume I am. I pretty darn well am saying that your husband obviously deserves better because why? you cheated. If you were so unhappy with sex why didn't you just leave? Cheating on someone is wrong, if you wanted to be with other people you shouldn't of married
@Trisha13 Lol okay.
@Trisha13 I agree with you also
@xButterflyKisses87x You *are* assuming. You're saying it was about sex. I've never claimed I was a great wife nor that I'm somehow cleared of consequences for my actions. But for you to say that I don't deserve my relationship or any for that matter is completely not for you to say. And yes, you did call my husband dumb for taking me back. You have no idea what circumstances led to that. I've paid my dues. If you say that a person who cheats once should never be forgiven or doesn't deserve love/happy relationships, then that says more about what you lack.
She's an idiot, don't bother talking to her. She is truly stupid.
I'm a believer of the once a cheater, always a cheater. And even if you cheat once and never do it again, I'll never trust you enough to stick around to find out.
Never forgive a cheater, and never believe they won't do it again... and again.
Absolutely!
Forgiving a cheater is giving him/her implicitly that he/she can do it again, because you're forgive next time too.
It's that simple. If you can't keep your pants on, then you're out of my life. Not as an ex, not as a friend, not as a polite and neutral relationship. You're dead to me. From the moment I know to the moment I die, you will never, ever, receive any word or attention from me.
Oh god so many mistakes.
telling him/her implicitly *
you'll forgive *
This is absolutely spot on. The damage cheating does to a person who is not a cheater themselves, is reprehensible. No, they do not deserve another chance.
Never will I ever stay with someone who has cheated on me, especially if I had children. Once a cheat always a cheat. No excuses EVER
Well, here is one of the rare subjects that I 100% disagree with you on.
But I'm sorry that this happened to you.
I am so amazed! One of the best texts i read about the subject.
If only someone write about how to find out without having to wait for a confession...
As a man i find very intriguing and definitely interesting look into the female psyche and their perspective of a man's actions. It also confirms a few suspicions of mine. But i am also a firm believer of once a cheater always a cheater...
This will help me when I get a boyfriend in the near future lol
I would never degrade myself by giving a cheater a second chance to humiliate me again.
Once a shit, always a shit.
This is true, very rarely do cheaters change
If a woman knows her place and actually tries to be decent, her man will have no reason to cheat. Keep his balls empty and he will stick around.
@Waftpermidgeon Wrong. Guys do not cheat because their woman isn't keeping them satisfied. Do you think that all a woman needs to do is have very frequent sex with her man and he will not cheat? As if it's HER fault if he cheats? That is a Neanderthal theory.
Yes. That is the only reason men cheat. Because their bitch doesn't do the job anymore. Isn't it time for your nap, Grandpa? Go take your Geritol.
I don't think so because somebody that I know cheated and his girlfriend found out and she cried so hard that it really made him realise how terrible it was!
"that it really made him realise"
Very highly doubtful.
@ThisDudeHere No it did.
Uh no. You learn right and wrong by age FIVE. He knew exactly what he did was wrong.
If you need to see your girlfriend cry to know you did something bad, then you're a terrible human being.
not really tbh i mean maybe when it comes to marriage then yeah but my ex used to be a cheater before he met me and ever since he met me he changed his ways to be with me and never cheated on me some guys can/will change if they really love you
I wish you the best, but. . . this chapter of your life isn't finished yet. so we don't really know what the ending will be like.
He hasn't cheated on you as far as you know, and their is still time. Its possible he changed, but he will not change unless its for himself not you. That's why most people don't change despite having the capacity for it, nothing can make them change exept themselves.
You think I’m gonna be a cheater my whole life? Uhm no. If I get married and have kids I wouldn’t cheat on my husband.
So you have cheated before?
Yes I have
Why did you do it?
I had another opportunity with a guy and I liked him so why not.
Yes, it sounds like you will be a cheater for your entire life. Good luck!
This is a good read. But I think that everybody could change
Is the person with red hair a dude or chick?
Last picture? Female.
The first
I think it is supposed to be a guy, but it is just a picture I found in a Google image search, so I really don't know.
I’m not a believer of “once a cheater, always a cheater”.
ITS A CHEATER!!! GET HIM LADIES!!!
@vald9inches I haven’t cheated. My point is, I believe people can change
HE IS LYING!! GET EM!!!
@vald9inches haha
lol :P
Yes, people CAN change. That is not the issue. The issue is whether they WILL change. Very few people change in significant ways after they become an adult. Read the other responses on here. Very few people have the experience of giving a second chance to a cheater and having the relationship survive in a healthy way.
I couldn't agree more. Thank you for writing this.
people suck. But some may see the light and some dont. all of us aren't cut by the same cloth.