Have you ever let your pride in the way and say things that make you look bad?

I am a very prideful person. If I don't want a person to see me as weak or as vulnerable I will do everything in my power to protect my pride. Sometimes it gets me in big trouble. My boyfriend broke up with me a month ago and just so I wouldn't seem like I wasn't affected over my recent breakup, I told my ex I never loved him, just wanted the sex, and that I cheated on him, even those things are NOT true. He also raised a concern about weather I was moving on and I told him I was going out with multiple guys and I was having sex with a man whom i refused to enter a relationship with. So I pretty much told him I was a lying cheating whore, so I wouldn't look weak... yeah I know I'm stupid.

So I'm curious, as anyone else had this problem?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you are a very strong person to write this. Knowing our own faults and taking ourselves seriously is a strength and a step to better lives. Now you just have to work on it :) I'm really proud of you that you can write this kind of thing.

    I've definitely had pride take me out. Once upon a time before I married, I had quite a love affair with myself. I was young, smart, and had some VERY big accomplishments for someone under 21. There are people in this world who could have done just as well but didn't have the same opportunities I had, and it was foolishness to take so much credit for myself. I was poised to have a rocket of a career. Until the arrogance machine bit me in the ass.

    The good news is my life went on and I'm happy. The bad news (or maybe good news in disguise) is that my pride fell down in a way that it never was able to get back up again. It broke me, but I would like to think for the better.

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What Guys Said 4

  • No, never felt the need to put myself down to save my pride, but if this guy knew you, he would know that all you are doing is trying to save the hurt from showing, which most guys would pick up on, so although they are hurtful things said, if he knew you well enough, he would know what all that meant, x

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    • Well that would explain why he kept saying "that's not you" and "you've never been like that". It would also explain why he was so sure that I would get attached to the guy I'm seeing right now :/

  • Wait, what? You basically just degraded yourself in front of him because that he valued you to begin with was the only power of influence over him you had or seemed fit to exert... that is like the weakest shit you can even do, I would rather assume you wanted to start some weird BDSM shit if you told me that...

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    • It is more like "look I am a needy sex hungry nasty whore that's how I want you to treat me instead I can't have normal relationships because I am so filthy and nasty and need constant punishment for being promiscous" or something. That would make some sense at least.

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    • It is weird, I can't really undestand it. What about the BDSM alternative?

    • LMAO XD perhaps it is an alternative. I do have a tendency to be extremely submissive and I do love role playing XD bwahaha

  • You know what? I'm 18 and immature. But i think you're way more immature than me.

    Grow up. That's my advice.

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  • I don't know but you look really kissable

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What Girls Said 6

  • I'm an extremely prideful person as well, but I know where to draw the boundaries.
    Pride can backfire, make you lose friends, wreck relationships etc.
    It's good you're realizing it; I've also only just realized it a while back.

    It's nice to know that people always fear you, or that you're the dominant one who can hurt people, but this attitude just does not take you a long way.

    I suggest you tone it down a little with the pride and it'll help a lot.

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  • My pride lends itself to some really stupid decisions. Usually instead of an outward reaction like yours, I'll pull inwards. If were dumped, I would pretend to be over it the minute after it happen, fake smile and no tears. It also influences me to stretch myself very thinly, because I never want to admit I can't do something.

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    • I can definitely relate to that too :/ there have been times when I do that too

  • No, not really. Pride is never one of my deadly sins.. In the past I often have let people win arguments. However, I don't like being humiliated. So I guess, if the fight was in public, I might do something like that, I don't know, it has never happened to me. But if it's in private, no, pride never gets in the way.

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  • Recently I let a friend down (not too bad but she felt betrayed) and I apologised simply because I had to (she picked up on this) rather than because I knew she was hurt. My pride wouldn't let me see past the fact that I didn't think what I did was "that bad". It took me a while to actually realise that I still needed to apologise whether what I did was bad or not, because she was upset. It's all sorted now though.

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    • Im glad things worked out for you an your friend :) I can definitely understand how your pride can blind you

    • I think you should apologise to your ex, those are some hurtful things you said...

    • I should ,.,

  • Never have I done this and I have much pride. I just think that we have different definitions of pride. I would never make myself look bad.

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  • No, I don't say things in the heat of the moment that I don't feel and believe to be true

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    • LOL pretty much my case >.> I am definitely very impulsive and now I am feeling like crap because I know I am not that type of person.

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    • A lot actually, I learned a lot about myself with this

    • It was a good experience if you learned from it. Well, that's what I've heard, but sometimes it doesn't feel like it

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