A lot of mixed signals from an ex?

So I would really be grateful for some advice, from guys especially, maybe I could get some insight. So last year I was going out with this guy who also happened to be my best friend and things were peachy for the first few weeks but then he broke up with me practically because he wouldn't break ties with his ex even though he was making me really insecure with his behaviour. Anyways obviously things were uncomfortable between us for a couple of months and he could be a total ass but then things started to smooth over, you know to at least try and save our friendship, which even I am grateful for. Then a couple of months later I don't know how it happened but we just ended up making out one day- resulting in him not wanting anything and me having lots of mixed emotions. Now we are in a pretty good place but he still maintains a lot of physical contact with me and flirts a lot too (we have a lot of chemistry). It is also really improbable to keep distance because we have the same friends and we see each other all the time...I used to get super confused but now I just try really hard to hold my ground and not get affected by what he says or does. However, the fact that he keeps doing these things is a bit unsettling and I would like some advice on how I should be handling this better or something of the sort. Thank you!


Most Helpful Guy

  • You had a right to feel unsettled - becuase I think he's screwing you over.

    That 'Chemistry' you think you have is something he has engineered to make you feel like something is there/was there/could possibly be there/will be there blah blah blah

    What that does is disarm you by distracting you with all these tantalising possibilities while he gets some, seemingly, whenever he wants with no setup, no mess, no fuss

    Oh, and no need for excuses when he doen't call you, or doesn't pay attention or just plain ignores you because he knows he can just come straight back whenever he wants to.

    I'd hate to sound cynical of a dude/situation I have no idea about - but I'd at least consider the possibility that he is taking advantage of you and your previous relationship while he figures out what to do next.

    good luck

    • thank you :)

    • you're welcome - I appologise if I seemed blunt or insensitive - I just know the realities of what some men (including me at times in the past) are capable of.

      Hope it all turns out ok for you though

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