Why won't he speak to me? This no contact thing is ridiculous!!?

I broke up with my bf 3 weeks ago because I sensed he was about to break up with me..despite his pleas that this wasn't the case I still told him it was over. I know I acted rashly and out of emotion so I called him to apologize, but he will not speak to me! I cannot understand this as I thought he was in love with me - he told me so just 2 days prior! I have apologised in so many ways ( voicemail, text, what's app), but all to no avail. Also, the other weird thing is, that since we last spoke (heated conversation), his phone has been off! The time stamp on his what's app shows he was last 'online' the very same time we last spoke!
The whole thing is really weird, and before anyone suggests it, no, he hasn't blocked my number as I've checked this by using different numbers.
It just doesn't add up! I can accept if he feels he cannot ever speak to me again, but this cowardly way of him refusing to answer calls etc is just so put of character for what I knew of him. He isn't dead either - before anyone suggests, and his phone has been active a couple of times since this all began - so I know he's using it at some points! It just seems he's behaving in a real cowardly way- as if he's running! I've not bombarded him - I have my pride.. But I cannot believe that someone who was meant to be my soulmate can just so easily give up on us!

Need guy advice please!!
P.s he is a Jehoviah's Witness.
Thanks, but he could never determine 3 phone calls with equal amount of voice messages over 4 weeks as stalking. I don't think so, but hard as it is to accept, I'm inclined to agree with you that he has in fact moved on. :(
I have given him 3 weeks of space , and have sent that message of " hey, hope you're well...", but he's not read it (what's app time stamp),. I guess what's really bothering me is the thought that he could be THAT upset? Like Really?


Most Helpful Girl

  • What I would do right now, is just give him space. He needs it, and he's trying to take it, but he can't if you try to stay in contact. He will contact and get in touch with you when HE is ready, I promise you. He knows you care, and you've tried already to contact him. The only way that he will want to contact you is if you give him the chance. What you're feeling right now is guilt, and that is totally normal with all break ups. But please just give him some time, and take these moments apart to figure out how you really feels, and let him do the same.

    If after 1 week he does not contact you first, then send him a text saying, "Hey, I hope you're having a good day. I know we haven't talked in a while, but I'm just trying to give you some space. Whenever you're ready to talk give me a call." If you really feel like it, you can even send this now, and then start giving him space. This way the ball is in his court, and you know you've tried.

    • I have given him enough space. He won't speak to me. Was he a Charlatan all along? I'm beginning to believe so :/

    • Show All
    • The lack of an answer, is your answer

    • Thank you, this the best answer! X

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What Guys Said 6

  • I woman that really fuck with you, can be mad at you for a lot of things, but will always stick around. That's what I think at least, he didn't give up on you, you broke it off with him, for what reason? Because you were afraid he was going to first, and you needed to be superior? Well it kinda messed you up in this particular situation. He loved you and you broke his heart and he don't know why, that's why he won't talk to you.

    • So you don't think he'll speak to me ever again?
      Then this could not have been my soulmate right?

    • Honestly, I have no pity for you cause I was in the same shoes that poor guy is in right now. But I'm not here to tell you that. If you've tried apologizing through text and whatnot, try and see where he will be and meet him in person. Explain what had happened and what you though was going too. Make sure he sees the sincerity. Tell him you know what you've lost and you can't take it. If after all of that, he still doesn't give you a second look, forget about him. He isn't worth your time

    • Yeah, I hear ya! I'm getting a bit fed up with it all now tbh..if he doesn't want me then I sure don't want him!
      I don't want a man that doesn't want me back, that's not sexy!
      Thanks guys!

  • Why would you break up with him because you thought he was going to break up with you? Even after telling you that he wasn't breaking up with you? I think you just just his feelings and you sound immature to me, why have a boyfriend when there is no trust? Do you break up with every guy you meet for thinking he's going to break up with you?

    I don't think you deserve to even have a boyfriend if you're going to be like that to guys and no guy wants to date a woman like that.

    • just hurt

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    • Ah so he knew all of that that's why he wanted to break up. But you still have a lot of emotional baggage that no guy wants to deal with and they'll all break up with you for the same reasons unless you get your emotion issues worked out somehow.

    • Well then why lie? Why when confronted with this did he say that he DID want to be with me and DID NOT want to break it off? I really don't understand any of this! He had the PERFECT opportunity to call it a day when we last spoke.. He was due to go away for a month later anyway..I just don't the lying..him insisting he didn't want to break it off and then doing the very same thing the next day!
      I told him it was over but felt I was wrong so I apologized..but now it seems I was right all along!
      I am confused by this show of cowardice behaviour from him though. Something does not seem right.

  • You broke it off with him and now that he doesn't want you back your whining...

    Advice: Move on. He has. Next time don't break up with someone just because your spider sense starts to tingle.

    • You really think he could be so cold? Really just cut me out to move on? Why is he being a coward by not saying anything then? It's this uncertainty that is keeping me thinking.

    • Yes he's "so cold" because he was in love with you, or at the very least cared about you a lot. You broke his trust and now he's moving on.

  • you broke up with him, he could take what your doing now as stalking, he is just wanting to move on you should figure how to as well

    • No stalking as I've only made contact 3 times. My pride won't allow me to do anymore.

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    • And he wasn't exactly "dumped", I just told him that I needed to work on myself/heal first from the pain from my last relationship! So you guys can all slander me by saying I have issues, am insecure, am paranoid etc (very nice indeed..), but the fact is, these were the VERY reasons I told him I wasn't ready for a relationship! Now ironically these would appear to be THE very reasons he has disappeared right?
      It was cruel for him to wait until I'd invested feelings then decide to do this. I asked him for an answer, just so I could be at ease, just a little text would have done- even if to say " go away !" Don't you think it's the least he could have done?

    • You told him about the issues and he said he wanted to help you work through them great he was trying to be your "soul-mate" but then YOU TOLD HIM without question you two where over again! (that means dumped, over with, no more, finished, EX)

      Maybe it isn't silly to him that you keep dumping him for your personal problems , it's time to take some responsibility for your own actions !

      Cruel, he invested time an feelings into you and you are the one who admittedly keep dumping him your the one that is cruel and just will not let him alone now that he is trying to get away for you.

      No one is slandering you if its the truth an if you don't want the answer you shouldn't ask the question. it's pretty obvious just in you reply's hereof how you are, I can only image the horror he went through.

      You say you only want a answer for him,,,, well he isn't responding to you at all and that in it self is a answer that he doesn't want anything to do with you TAKE THE HINT

  • been there..still dealing, she says she loves me but ignores me

    • How is it that someone is in love with you but cannot even speak to you?
      This makes no sense to me.

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    • She is with someone else Now?

    • I dont know. and it sucks...Im following you...

  • What on God's Earth do you expect?

    You ditched him claiming he was going to dump you first (which he clearly wasn't going to) and you broke his heart. This whole thing backfired on you because you were paranoid.

    He's gone no contact because he's hurt and wants to move on, and rightly so.

    Get over it.

    • I didn't expect him who claimed to be my soulmate to be able to discard me so easily.. You males are HARSH!
      I'm shocked! I could not get over somebody I claimed to 'love' so easily..you'll have to let me know how you do it! And no, I won't be seeing someone new to get over an old love, that really doesn't work for me.

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    • Which means I was right to break it off with him all along! Which also means you guys can take back all your slanderous comments of "paranoia!", "insecure", "got issues" etc...
      See? A woman's instincts..never fails!!!
      He must've been a Dbag all along..! I am well rid!!!
      Thanks guys for making me feel better! My only regret is that I actually apologized for something I was right about!!
      He was lying to me ALL ALONG, but just did not have the guts to come right out and say it ( that the relationship was over). I say it-and I get slandered on here..!! How funny!
      Then the very same guys who slandered me now tell me I was right! And that my guy WAS trying to dump me all along !!
      This just gets better and better... Loooooooool

    • You're deluded and refuse to acknowledge you're wrong. What do you not get? He wasn't going to break up with you, and when you did he was heartbroken so he just took you straight out of his life.

      I think you still care a lot about him and still love him. Now it's your turn to move on and DON't contact him.

What Girls Said 1

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