Why am I afraid of getting cheated by my future wife?

Why do i feel that my wife would cheat on me? This feeling always haunts me. i can feel what my condition would be like if i came to know my wife sleeping with someone else. I will be a living dead. it will be a scar forever, a would that would never heal, it would be the most embarassing moment of my life. Whey do i feel like that.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you feel this way, because marriage and family is what you mostly cherish. And therefore, it can lead you into fear of losing what you cherish the most. If it's not fear that's leading you, Than If you've cheated a lot in your past, it can sometimes result to you thinking it will be done to you by the person you love the most.

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    • Thanks , I'm glad I helped.

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What Girls Said 9

  • It's so hard to trust people. I have always believed my future husband would leave me because my dad did. Sometimes we carry the past into our future. Even if the worst came to the worst we have to believe we can handle whatever life throws at us, no sense ruining the present worrying about things that may never happen

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  • I was about to ask I saw Dodgers already asked. Have you been cheated? If not no need to be afraid of. Even it is yes no need to punish your wife because of somebody's fault.

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  • how was your childhood? sorry if this is personal but did you ever feel abandoned by a parent or guardian?

    what about your first relationship? do you have a bad experience there?

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    • my childhood was great. I was the first child so I was treated like a prince. my parents gave me everything I wanted. my parents never had any problem in their married life. well my first relationship was kind of immature, infatuation but after that I had some girls who I really felt for. but as I was not mature by myself I could not take it to the next level. Actually I wasn't prepared to get married. in between I have seen some married women whom I know personally, having extra marital affairs n having sexual relations with other guys much younger to them, some of them even my frens. whenever I see those women, I can't believe they r married n some of them even have children of my age. Most of them have multiple sex partners.

    • well that's super great that you have none of those issues hahah it makes the situation a lot easier to solve :)

      so if you know those women who have affairs etc. I think if it's not too intrusive (depends on your relationship with them) you could possibly ask why they do it! and by knowing this you can try to prevent making the same mistakes those men did in a relationship. I reckon you'd feel a lot more comfortable knowing what you can do to be different and not fall into that 'cheated on' category :)

      also on a side note... just because those few women have done that, it necessarily does not mean all women are like that. everybody is different when it comes to relationships. and the women who you know most likely have some kind if issues surrounding them. so don't worry... if you put the effort in to sustain a relationship, you'd be fine :)

  • Marry a conservative girl with morals who never will cheat on you.

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  • Find someone you trust completely and this fear should subside.

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  • a terrible past experience with an unfaithful ex gf is the reason of your trust issues

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  • its normal to have doubts..but don't let this attitude destroy your relationship

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  • I think its because it happens way too much in todays relationships. :(

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  • Ur insecure don't know what for ur turning heads when u walk through the doooor... Lol jk
    But I don't know I know how that must feel like getting married is a big step especially if u love the person I'm guessing that's why we all get married because we love eachother, if she loves u then she won't cheat on you because if I were to get married I would be loyal to my husband love him appreciate him, I wouldn't be having an affair with another Man because I would know what a great husband I have. Plus don't cheat on her or flirt that will also make her insecure and could cause to want to cheat. Remind her how much u care for her and there shouldn't be a problem.

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What Guys Said 10

  • You're scared and insecure. Perhaps a therapist who talked to you at some length about your past, could figure it out.

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  • Insecurity and/or trust issues. Remember that everyone is different. Even if 99% of people wanted to kill you, you'd still technically be wrong in saying "everyone" is out to kill you. There's no guarantee your wife will or will not cheat on you. Instead of trying to control the things around you, embrace the chaos.

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  • The why goes something like this:
    *Your chances of that happening are about 1 in 4, maybe even slightly closer to 1 in 3.

    *It's unlikely to happen until about 5 years into a marriage, and by then you have a lot invested in that marriage.You may even have children by then.

    *50% of women lose interest in having sex with their partner (but not with other men), at about 4 years into a marriage.When this happens, there is very little you can do to stop it or change it.You get no points for being the perfect husband, and she may even resent you more for trying to buy her affection by being "perfect".

    *Half of these women (the 50%, that is) will just divorce you before they cheat, but 1/2 of them won't.

    *You can't change any of this if it happens.It doesn't matter if she's religious or atheist, it can still happen.You just have to be prepared for it.It's much better to be aware of this before you marry, than to be surprised by it 5 or 10 years later.Make sure you have options and a plan.A pre-nuptual agreement or a family trust can at least protect your assets.Assets will be important if you need to make a new life.

    *Don't think it can only happen once in a lifetime, and don't look for a reason when it happens.They don't need a reason, and will rarely give you one.

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  • For you to be happy in the long term, I'd suggest in the strongest possible terms that you find a good therapist and put some time in working on this. With the right person, you can resolve this, hopefully in a few sessions.

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  • probably something in your past that causes you to have trust issues regarding commitment. try to shake that feeling, there is an inherent risk in almost every activity. you can't let fear paralyze your from doing something

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  • It's all in your mind buddy.Sorry to say But only weak Man think that she would cheated by her wife. Instead of babbling around about your low self esteem, Asked yourself How to be a Strong and dependable Man for her.

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  • Only ask the woman of your dreams who you have complete trust in. Perhaps this wouldn't be an issue?

    There were girls that I dated that I didn't really trust 100% based on their personality or history. But there were also girls that I trusted 100% and even pictures of her and another guy while I was away wouldn't even bother me a single bit. It's all in the relationship and how the interactions are with them. If they are the right one, they will reassure you and you will have complete faith in them.

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  • Have you been cheated on before? And do you have low self-esteem or a negative self-image?

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    • no i haven't been cheated before. but i have seen lot's of married women sleeping with lots of other guys. may be i have low self-esteem.

    • Oh ok, well that sort of makes sense then. Your expectations may have been jaded by all of these poor examples of marriage.

      Just remember that not all marriages end up with someone cheating. I know it's easier said than done, but changing the way you think is totally possible if you make the effort to do so.

  • Not enough testosterone

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  • Self doubt?

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