Did he even care about me at all? Am I just going to be someone he moves on from and forgets about?

First let me say that while I believe that nothing is impossible, I know that the chances of us ever seeing each other again is highly unlikely.

That being said, I'm trying to figure out if he even cared about me at all, because I certainly came to care about him a lot.

A while ago, I met a guy in the military while I was visiting family right before he was being deployed. We don't live close, so we spent the next month texting and speaking on the phone (in contact almost every day). On a whim he asked me to come spend the weekend with him before he deployed and paid for my ticket. Despite him being tired, it was an awesome weekend. There was intimacy and a promise of more to come in the future. We agreed to stay in contact through email during his deployment. He called me the day before he left the country, but that was the last time I talked to him not on email. I asked for his address overseas. He was gone foe 4 months and we emailed back and forth every week or two and I sent a few care packages that he loved. Emails weren't too detailed, but he would let me know that they had such limited access over there. Sometimes he would comment on something I sent him and other times he would tell me how awful it was.

Anyway, when he came home, he emailed me to tell me that is ex unexpectedly came back into his life (and lives where he does) and he is going to try again with her. That I am so sweet and supportive, but he was also worried about the distance.

Not something I can argue with, so I told him that I was disappointed, but that I hope it works out the way he wants, and best of luck. A little while after, I realized how how much I do really care about him, and I've been wondering if he really did care about me. I know no one really knows except him, but I've been wondering lately about it.

Any thoughts from anyone about this?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • my opinion on this is that you need to move on and find someone worthy of you. it isn't healthy for you to sit there and wait a for him to come back because i dont think it is likely

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    • It's not at all likely. And that's not what I'm expecting. But I would find comfort in knowing whether or not meant anything to him. It's part of the closure process and part of moving on. Men may not understand that, but knowing you meant something to someone (even if it's over) is important to women.

    • then you should contact him and ask him that. other than that you will never know

Most Helpful Girl

  • Your situation sounds extremely similar to my own and I know how hurtful it is, I am truly sorry and I know you're in some pain. You have to know that while you care for him, you can do better :-) Try not to worry about whether he cared or not, it'll eat you up inside hurting and agonizing over it and believe it makes it so hard to forget about him and let go.

    I'm sure he cared, I know my ex did. But when it comes to did they care enough? It's hard to think it, but clearly they didn't. I hope you find someone deserved of both your time and love and that you start to feel better real soon :-)

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    • Thank you. It does hurt. But what really sucks, is that there is no one better. And I'm not just saying that because I'm emotionally involved. Anyone looking on from the outside would see him as an amazing person. He is honorable, selfless (with his actions as a friend/lovers and putting his life on the line to save absolute strangers). There is nothing I can be angry with him about, because there is nothing he has ever done that is ever had ill intentions--and he was never oblivious or anything us girls get so annoyed at. And it's hard because we didn't have much time. Maybe he did care enough, but his job dictates where he goes.

    • I hear what you're saying. My ex was the best friend I ever had, pre relationship aswell. I can't feel angry with him, I just miss him. It's good you can still see he is a good person and it's truly decent of you to rationalize his decision. You sound like a wonderful person and as much as fate wasn't around this time...it will be with someone else just as nice. You just have to try hard to accept what you had as what it was and move on. It's hard and it takes time but you'll be in a better place one day and it won't hurt so bad.

    • What's ironic is that I sent him the last care package not long before I got the email from him. It hasn't made it there yet and I think he could be home by now, so who knows if he will ever receive it.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • I think he really did care about you. I know it really sucks, but it's just one of those things where you have to move. At the very least, know that you were likely a great support system for him while he was deployed and that is something to be very proud of!

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