That being said, I'm trying to figure out if he even cared about me at all, because I certainly came to care about him a lot.
A while ago, I met a guy in the military while I was visiting family right before he was being deployed. We don't live close, so we spent the next month texting and speaking on the phone (in contact almost every day). On a whim he asked me to come spend the weekend with him before he deployed and paid for my ticket. Despite him being tired, it was an awesome weekend. There was intimacy and a promise of more to come in the future. We agreed to stay in contact through email during his deployment. He called me the day before he left the country, but that was the last time I talked to him not on email. I asked for his address overseas. He was gone foe 4 months and we emailed back and forth every week or two and I sent a few care packages that he loved. Emails weren't too detailed, but he would let me know that they had such limited access over there. Sometimes he would comment on something I sent him and other times he would tell me how awful it was.
Anyway, when he came home, he emailed me to tell me that is ex unexpectedly came back into his life (and lives where he does) and he is going to try again with her. That I am so sweet and supportive, but he was also worried about the distance.
Not something I can argue with, so I told him that I was disappointed, but that I hope it works out the way he wants, and best of luck. A little while after, I realized how how much I do really care about him, and I've been wondering if he really did care about me. I know no one really knows except him, but I've been wondering lately about it.
Any thoughts from anyone about this?
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Your situation sounds extremely similar to my own and I know how hurtful it is, I am truly sorry and I know you're in some pain. You have to know that while you care for him, you can do better :-) Try not to worry about whether he cared or not, it'll eat you up inside hurting and agonizing over it and believe it makes it so hard to forget about him and let go.
I'm sure he cared, I know my ex did. But when it comes to did they care enough? It's hard to think it, but clearly they didn't. I hope you find someone deserved of both your time and love and that you start to feel better real soon :-)