Post breakup [only for guys]?

All I want to know is how many guys out here really do cry after a breakup when you're on your own..when you go to bed? Do you feel as hurt as us or do you move on really quick?
Do you remember her ever again after 6 months of the breakup?
How long does it ideally take for you to move on in life?
Please, tell me how you feel if you've had a breakup recently... Do you miss her? Want her back? Hate her?
  • Yes, we cry.. Its hard for us to move on too.
    Vote A
  • No, we dont cry.. Girls come and go. Ain't anything to cry about.
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Guy

  • My first "breakup" was the most memorable one as its the toughest one i ever had. The girl felt like my soulmate and i was so happy to finally have found her. I was ready to ask her to be my girlfriend as i knew she loved me back. Then something unexpected happend. All my luck seemed to have gone away. It suddenly turned out she already had a boyfriend she had been fighting with before she met me. Because of that she allowed herself to get feelings for me. When the guy came back her situation with me was tough on her so she started ignoring me. Eventually i couldn't take it and knew i had to move on.

    This one was really hard to get over especially since the girl was so amazing. A year later i was still ocationally thinking about her so i surely didn't forget. It took a new girl to come along to open my eyes and see that she wasn't that wonderful as i thought she had been.

    During the whole period i never cried but i had been close to it a few times (I voted yes). Do i want her back? No not really not anymore. Do i miss her? Not anymore i missed her for about a year.

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    • Thankyou so much for such an honest reply... Really, you're at a far better place than me.. at least you knew you had to move on.. I don't even know If I want to..
      Really, thanks :)

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    • I wish I could do that but again as I told you, I don't know if I want to let go..
      One moment I am all for moving on in life and the next, the ache just intensifies...
      I am a damaged person..

      Thanks for your help, though!

    • You have an exactly similar story like mine bro.
      I can relate with you in so many ways.

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What Guys Said 23

  • i always cray after break ups. i get very depressed and i dont eat or sleep much. i remember when i broke up with my last long term GF. we were together for about 4 years. even though i wanted out of the relationship , it tore me up inside to have to hurt her like i did. i cried for months , especially when i found out she had moved on less than 3 months later and was making plans on going skiing with her new guy. it was about 2 years before i could want to be with someone else

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    • Hmm.. Ok.. You're right in a way on your point too... I give that to you because you're ofcourse more experienced and you've seen more from life than me. So maybe sometime I'll get to know your point better...

    • ok good , thankyou

  • I have cried at all but one break up. All have been sad and one was devistating. I even cry still over her but rarely. Usually when either something bad happens to me cuz she just had a way of touching and talking that made it disappear. Or, when I feel lonely. I know I am single cuz I cannot find another one like her. Its been over 5 years now. The break up was necessary and mutual and we both agreed eventually. It was the right decision. A long story.

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    • Thanks for sharing your experience. I really admire your honesty because a lot of guys here, think its something to be really ashamed of for a guy to cry..
      I am sorry you had to go through that and I really hope you have a better future and you find your better half soon. :)

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    • you're welcome.

    • I admire you Sir.
      Take no shit when it happens again :)

  • Depends on how long you have been together. My wife just ended our marriage. we were together 25 years. I was grieving for almost 2 years as we moved through the process. I was devastated for 3 months after it was final. Until she told me she was cheating on me at the end. She couldn't even wait until it was final. That made something snap inside me. After a complete melt down emotionally, I got pissed off. Then I decided she cannot hurt me anymore if I don't let her hurt me. I decided to start dating. I always thought there is no way I can make myself vulnerable that way again. but I realized that if I made it through loosing my very best friend of more then a quarter of a century, how hurt can I get from a woman I only know a few days, or a week, or a couple months? I have dated 4 women since I have started dating (with another 3 that said yes but we didn't find dates that let us get together, then I just found other women). It has been a HUGE boost to my ego. My ex never complimented me. now I am not having any problems finding women to date. They are telling me I am attractive which is slowly making me believe it. I just had a woman give me the same "your such a sweet guy but I just don't feel anything...yada..." on monday. I had 6 dates with her and met her family. I was like WTF? I mourned it that night, and was back on POF, match and tinder Tuesday morning. I have texted with a beautiful woman the last 2 nights for over 2 hours each night. I am hoping to meet her this weekend. Only problem is she seems too perfect but we will see. anyway, I am sure if I was in a Months long relationship it would take me longer to get over it. but right now I am screw her if she doesn't want me, a lot of other women seem like they do.

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    • I am really sorry you had to go through that. Your ex wife seems like a real bitch and so, you definitely don't deserve her. Sometimes, we recognise the value of somethings in life only after we lose them and I really hope she repents losing you..
      I really hope you find a nice persin to be with..
      Thanks for replying :)

    • Thank you. She turned into a person I just don't recognize. I can only hope she gets back to the person I used to love. Not that we will ever be back together but just because I miss that woman. She is the mother of my 3 boys and I will always love her deeply. Even if I know we will never be together again.

    • How could she do that to you and your kids? I don't know why and how a mother can leave her family... Her kids for another man? She's really not worth your time... I know its difficult to not think about her as youve invested 25 years of life on her and also because she's your kids mother.. But, you have to move on... at least for your kids.. I hope you find a better person than her in life...

  • I don't cry, but sometimes it's hard to get over. I still miss the girl I dated until last November. There's no way that a relationship between us would end in anything, but I would just want to be with her again.

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  • When my relationship ended with my first love, I was broken for slightly over a year. I am only just starting to feel better.
    And I've been keeping as active as I can the entire time.

    The first couple of months I jogged every day and would think about her during that too.

    It just takes time and maybe someone else that you REALLY like to start to forget the ex.

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    • Thankyou so much for your honest reply... I really appreciate that alot! :)

  • I personally haven't cried over a girl since I was 14, but that's just me.

    When it's over there is a sadness period where I don't really want to do anything, but it doesn't hurt me internally. And that only lasts maybe a week or two.

    If I leave her, there isn't a sadness period. It's different to adjust to not having her to talk to/cuddle with, but if I ended it then I wanted it to be over. So, no I'm not sad.

    Just go out and find someone new.

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    • What if it were circumstances that led to the breakup? Something that was way out of your reach? And you didn't have any better alternative?

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    • So do they just not believe you? Why is it still an issue if you have shown them that you would be Christian for him?

    • They just want someone raised with christian beliefs, I suppose... I don't know, honestly..
      I never bugged him or his family after he told me all of this. I tried talking it out with him but I guess he was bound by all the trust and faith and expectations.. I wish he tried a little harder though...

  • Yeah I have a little bit of sensitive personality.
    I've been rejected plenty of times in the past and I cried for them like a month or so.
    I also cried when the previous GF of mine left me for someone else,
    I know she doesn't deserve my tears but like I said I'm more of a sensitive guy.

    Tbh as I described that I've been rejected several times in the past, and because of that I'm feeling less pain in recent break up because your body gradually sensitizes to pain whether it's physical or emotional.

    I've learned at least one thing from each and every rejection and I think that's why it helped me to move on quickly.
    Sure I miss her sometimes even after I saw her with that other guy but I know that I can't change her.
    I know I'll get some dates but her space will be empty and won't be filled by anyone in the future.

    Like I said before, rule your heart with your head and don't succumb to sentiments otherwise you'll be at the receiving end.
    Hope this helps.

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    • Thankyou Devansh. You're a really nice guy... One of the best, I've met to be honest. Don't lose hope. She didn't deserve you yaar..

  • My sadness is channeled into anger and frustration, so I barely ever cry. I wish I were kidding, it's frustrating to be honest. Yes, it's a circle of frustration. Which is why I don't like feeling negative, ever. It bugs me. Otherwise, anyone who wasn't persuaded with "MEN DON'T CRY SO STOP CRYING YOU WUSS" into forgetting how to cry properly would be able to cry as an effect to powerful emotional stimulus.

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    • Yea I do understand what you're saying... Sometimes when I'm sad too, I feel really angry and annoyed and I feel like hurting everyone around me, breaking things and stuff but I still have tearing running down even when I'm angry...
      Thanks for your reply :)

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    • Fun fact, even chopping onion doesn't make me tear up, it just makes my eyes hurt with a burning sensation. It's hard to cry now XD

    • Hahahahaha... I am glad you answered that honestly. :D
      And if onions dont make you tear up, then you probably have disfunctional lacrimal glands ;) lol

  • Some of us cry some of us don't. Some guys hold it in some guys let it out in tears. Other guys like my buddy drank alcohol and didn't want to talk about girls for months. And by drink alcohol I mean get drunk every night for months straight. Everyone deals with breakups differently but for the most part I'd say if a guy was truly invested in the girl he will cry.

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    • A very honest reply. I've seen some guys waste away on alcohol like that. Thanks for the honest response. :)

    • Yep some guys have too much pride to want to admit it but we have feelings too.

    • Yepp.. But not all guys accept it. Go through other comments. You'll see what I mean.

  • I've never cried over a break up, I'm just not the type to cry unless a family member or pet dies.

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    • Hmm... Ok.. But I'm sure you've felt broken and sad... If not, then you've really never felt true love.. Its just infatuation and puppy love that you've encountered...

    • I was sad, but I'm just not a Cryer.

    • Thankyou for the very honest reply :)

  • I'd cry if a girl were worth it. But much of my life I've been avoiding dating that kind of girls till I was emotionally ready for marriage.

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    • So you've never cried for a girl, ever?

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    • Yes, but even when we cry for ourselves we don't cry for each and every girl. Do we?

    • there for bringing your conversation with him full circle to where he can say the same thing as he originally said and it make since to you now.

  • I wouldn't say at every breakup, but if you really loved her and she left you - yes. It does happen.

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    • What if you loved her a lot and were really serious about her but, circumstances led to this breakup. You're the one who broke up though you didn't want to because there wasn't any real choice? Would you be sad and upset? Would you miss her even after an year?

    • Yes, if the feelings were real - sure. We're not robots, trust me. We can be great at hiding our pain, but it still hurts if you loved her.

    • I am glad you were truthful. Thankyou :')

  • Yes, my 1 st girlfriend , Crystal i loss
    my mind cause i really did love her
    yes i cried real tears

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    • I am sorry you had to go through that.
      If I may ask, would you tell me how long back was this breakup? Do you still miss her?

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    • Ahh... Parents' interfearance... I faced it too.. My guy was a christian and his parents didn't want him dating me, a hindu... Its really sad why parents decide to interfare like this bringing no good into relationships... I am sorry you had to go through that... I really hope Crystal comes back to you...

    • I never judge someone but i moved on with Crystal Just too much water over the dam

  • well I haven't cried but it hurt me so much. like I was sad for a long time. I used to get nightmares n couldn't go back to sleep. I was kind of depressed. I only came out of it when I got along with another girl. if u r thinking that guys don't feel anything post breakup then u r wrong, guys r as much emotional as girl but the only thing is showing up the emotion physically by crying or whatever. girls can cry out n share with friends n they get all the sympathies n consolation so it's easy for a girl to come out of it. but for guys they don't cry out n they don't talk to friends about it as much as the girls do but the pain is still there inside.

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    • I am sorry you had to go through that and I hope you're happy now... :)

  • I would defend all of my ex's untill the day i die. And if you truly love someone, you will never forget them, you just learn to live without them.

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  • i have had 1 girlfriend, and when i broke up with her, i stopped talking to her for about 2 months, i missed her a lot,

    when she finally answered me, she was really cold.. then i stopped talking for 6 months, and still was pretty cold.

    then i stopped for 1 year, and finally we had a normal conversation.

    so i can tell you this, if we really like the girl, yeah we are going to think of her, we are going to be sad and most likely alone, and sure.. we cry sometimes..yet.. personally, i think everyone is different.

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    • Thankyou for your honest reply. I really appreciate it. I am happy you disnt cover up the part of still missing her.
      Really, thankyou :)

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    • Its hard, but don't think about that.. perhaps he thought it was for the best.

      Its just a networking site, exactly.

    • Yea... I guess...but it still hurts...

  • I've been broken up for a while and I still cry every night.

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    • I hope you get better very soon... I know how it feels... I am sorry you had to go through this but believe me... You'll get better very soon...

    • Thank you

  • Never cried heart broken sure but never cried.

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    • I guess, forgive me if I'm wrong but you've never experienced real love, bro.
      I'm not talking about 100 mts sprint here. Cross country, it is!

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    • Hmm... Thats a really sweet story... I really hope you guys end up together..

    • Maybe we will someday maybe we won't but doesn't change the fact that I am just not a crier.

  • depends on the age, older we get, we think about it more.. when i was early 20's women were a dime a dozen but, then again, I have only had 2 real relationships, the other crap is just bf/gf stuff when i was younger..a real relationship consist of a lot more than just "dating"

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    • Yea, men mature with age as they say :P

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    • ;) thank God you accepted that. I didn't want to start an argument on men maturing with experience and not just age.. :P
      that wouldve been really pathetic!

    • haha.

  • I bet guys probably suffer more following a breakup that wasn't their idea because we put more into a relationship than girls do.

    For girls I think the guys they are with are just for fun, and there is always a long list of interested guys waiting to replace him. Guys have to go seek out a new partner and we face a greater chance for rejection. Also I think emotionally guys take things slower than girls, we are slow to warm up, and slow to become emotionally attached but when we finally do, the relationship is important and actually means something. . . to us anyway.

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    • I fail to agree. My ex boyfriend was not the hottest guy around and definitely wasn't even the hottest to ask me out but, I was with him and madly in love as well. He dumped me and I'm still not over him. Its been 9 months!!! And I dont think any guy will ever take his place and I'd be able to love anyone as much as I loved him...

  • I'm no womanizer and getting a girl was impossible for me. Then I met her and everything was easy and perfect. We clicked and it fell right into place. She was so trustful and loving and kind and cuddly. At the time I fell in love with her I did not understand why she was so emotionally needy. She had just broken up with her ex and I was her consolation price.
    When he decided to come back into her life she cheated on me with him. We're over but I still love her and I feel like the version of her I loved has been murdered :(. I think about her constantly. Whenever something good happens to me I get my phone and wanna text her: hey babe we gotta try this together. When I realize we're over I get so sad it's not even funny anymore.

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    • Its not funny at all... And I am really sorry you had to go through that.. Sometimes I wish guys like you could teach somethings to certain douchebags who exist in our society.. I really hope you find someone even better than her and she makes you forget all sad memories...
      Thanks for replying...

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    • If you think your physical appearance is a hinderance, then u should really work out!!
      Personally, I dont think it should matter much. My ex used to be a bit over weight... It concerned me because he overweighed because of eating junk and I cared about his health alot. Otherwise, It doeant matter, really

    • Thanks!

  • I've cried once after a break up... selfish cunt (ex friend) messed it all up with her and things went from ugly to down right disgusting between us.

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  • There should be some middle ground between the two choices you offer. I've never cried. But I'm not the cynical "girls come and go" type.

    Usually, I've broken up for a reason. When the girl was too unreasonable, or there was something in her that I couldn't take. If she broke up with me, then I see it as something unattainable and unsustainable.

    Eitherway, I think everything happens for the best.

    I still remember some of the people who influenced me. Sometimes fondly. But I'm not eager to turn the clock back.

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    • So, do you ever miss this girl that you broke up with in the past? Like, do you miss her when it rains and do you remember the moments you had in the rain? Do you miss her at all, if it were circumstances that led to this breakup and it was not something you wanted but you did out of compulsion? And remember, you're the one who broke up!
      Is she a conpletely closed chapter of your life, thereafter?

    • Of course, I miss people... not just ex-es, but even friends, relations, teachers and a whole lot of others. We think about them.

      Sometimes we broke up because we couldn't sustain the relationship. In most cases, almost all (except one, for health reasons), I never initiated the break-up, being a rather patient person.

      So there's very little to regret, if that's what you ask.

      Also, I'm rather fatalistic. I won't say anyone is a closed chapter, no. Not even after death! People grow on us...

    • Hmm... I guess i do understand your point now... Thanks for your replies... :)

What Girls Said 3

  • i like ur question..its always been a mystery how a guy felt cuz obviously i felt so heartbroken to even think about what he felt :/

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    • Ikr? I've always wanted to know this thing from guys and all my guy friends have never given me satisfactory answers...

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    • depends on man's experiences.if he is new to handling a relationship then he is quite sentimental and emotional but for the old ones like me.we can endure and hide it, we can be cold and we will try to look for alternatives.

    • yea i agree with u mark :)

  • Very good question...I was wondering the same thing!

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    • I hope other girls find this helpful as well... Its for a lot of girls like us and I'm really glad that some guys gave honest replies...

  • I cried when i broke up with my first bf, but it was mostly because of how we broke up. We'd been going out for about a month or two in secret, his parents caught wind and forbid him from seeing me and then he was sent back to portugal to live with his mother.

    I cried myself to sleep when he text me it, the worst part is i didn't even get to say goodbye to him.

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    • Thats really sad. I can really understand your feeling because my guy broke up with me because of his parents too... So, I can really emphathise with you. Its sad when parents interfare in relationships like that.
      I am really sorry...

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    • Nothing at all.

    • I am really sorry... :(
      I still hope everything becomes fine...

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