How to make 'starting from square one' work for us?

Me and my ex started seeing each other again, but I think that i pushed to far too fast and we kept getting in arguments.
I know that I have behaved badly and it has been killing me.
Recently he said that we should be friends. But his definition of friends is to be what we were before we first started going out. We got along so well, we cuddled a bit and we would cut out the sex.
He says that going back to square one will be healthier for us.
I think it's a good option, working our way back up, getting to know the emotional side before we focus entirely on the physical.
However, i'm scared he won't want to hang out, he won't fall for me, and he won't want to be together.
These insecurities made me look so clingy before and stressed me out, how do i stop acting so crazy and come over as casual and cool but still make him fall for me?


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • It's not working as it is.
    You agree it's a good option to take a step back to square one.
    You got along really well before.

    I can see 3 things happening: 1) You keep trying for a relationship but it just doesn't work. Maybe the two of you a re just meant to be friends.
    2) Taking a step back is the best thing that ever happened to the two of you. You both learned from mistakes and fall in love with each other.
    3) One or both of you grow tired of seeing the other one and the whole thing fails.

    Whatever happens, however painful it is, you have to get on with your life. Seriously, the only thing you can do is take it as it comes. If he does want to catch up, then enjoy every second of it. If he wants to talk on the phone then enjoy every second of it. If you find yourself alone then learn to enjoy it.

    Get out there with other friends and learn to enjoy their company.

    Learn patience.

    I am finding myself in a similar situation albeit with a female friend (no romance). I really want to make this friendship work and spend a lot of time with her. But at this stage she simply wants to be buddies, so I have to learn to be patient, show her how much I appreciate her company and hope she comes around.


What Girls Said 1

  • You need to think of this as ONLY a friendship... think of it the same way he does... I know its hard but that's really the only way...

    I've been in your exact position before and I messed it up big time... then it happened with someone else and it was successful.

    Be flirty, be fun, be you... but don't push too hard.

    There's nothing more of a turn-off than someone you don't like trying too hard... think of this as the beginning of a friendship, that still has some potential...

    you should be feeling it out for yourself too... think about what went wrong in the previous relationship, why, and how that could be avoided...

    also, (and I know this is hard because its the biggest thing I have trouble with) don't hang out with him all the time... you need to do you. Go out and do things that make you happy and you enjoy doing, make new friends, and spend time with them. Not only will that help you find you and boost your self-esteem, but it will also ensure you aren't bored and texting him and inviting him to hang out all the time... and show him that you have your own life and are happy, and make him want to be a part of that...


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