Why doesn't my ex-boyfriend want to remain friends after he was the one who suggested it?

Long story short, he broke up with me about a month ago. It was a rough breakup, we were both in tears. He told me he wanted to remain friends, but I was too hurt at the time and I told him I couldn't talk to him for a while.. Well now I'm starting to get over him and I can handle being friends. I asked him today if he'd still like to be friends, and he said no because he couldn't handle it right now.. Why would he ask to be friends and then turn me down when I bring the idea up to him? It was his idea to begin with!


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Most Helpful Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • He may have been so uptight over the whole brawl and break up, that he would have done Anything at the time just to hang in there a little longer...Even if it meant to 'Remain friends.' He wasn't able to cut you loose completely, and still was hanging on to a thin thread.
    Now that the smoke has cleared, tears have dried up a bit, he has had time to do some soul searching, and rather than Latch on, he has decided to Move on. He is protecting his heart now. It has started to hit hard, being Rougher than he even thought possible, and he just wants the pain to subside.
    Respect his decision. If you really don't see that you both are able to reconcile, then you need to move on yourself. And, being it's a fresh cut yet, perhaps it wouldn't have been so easy just to be pals. The old wounds may have opened up wide again, and could have made it harder to lick them this time around.xx

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What Guys Said 1

  • You are aware that time changes things, right? No, apparently not. Not at all.

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    • -______- I'd just like to know why he had a change of heart. Whether it's because he's completely moved on and doesn't want anything to do with me, or if it's because he's not over me yet and doesn't want to feel sad.

    • Why would we know why he had a change of heart? Think this through. He didn't reject you, you rejected him, and then he rejected his own idea. Why? Fuck if I know; maybe you were right and maybe he agreed.

    • Oh, and don't worry, it's not connected to the whole "over you" bit. They are separate issues. Contact and communication may have nothing to do with this. My guess is that he originally extended as a means to follow social protocol not because he was thinking it through clearly and made a rational choice.

What Girls Said 3

  • You told him first that you couldn't talk to him. So now he's doing it back. Maybe at the time he wanted to still be friends, but now it seems he doesn't want to and I guess you just have to respect that.

    I know how that feels, me and my ex broke up 2 weeks ago and he suggested we could still be friends and I said okay and then the next day he too me he didn want to right now because it gets too much to talk to me. Makes no sense but there isn't much I can do.

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  • He said it to stop feeling guilty and now he's probably got a new interest that he doesn't want you interfering with.

    I'm sorry, that's been my experience. You'll move on eventually, though.

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  • I WANT MY EX HUSBAND IS BACK

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    Thanks Dr love for helping me get my Lover back and put smile on my face forever.

    Maria

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