He broke up with me because he wasn't feeling the same anymore?

On Friday, my boyfriend broke up with me over facebook. I know it's stupid, but before that, I started an argument with him by admiting I was tired of him not making any effort to see me. I sent very long messages, which pressured him and I think guys don't like that.
After that, he said "if you think so...". He admited he was falling apart because he didn't feel the same anymore. He told me that he thought everything was perfect in the beginning but then problems started to show up.
He spent less time with me last week in order to think about us and decided that it wasn't working (that's why I was mad: he wouldn't talk to me or see me unless I did that, he spent all his time with friends also because he hasn't seen them for a while, but that's not a reason for stop talking to me).
The problems he was talking about were my insecurities. I would get worried if for some days he wouldn't invite me to hang out when actually he was having his own space. I got used to spend every single day with him, he would always take the initiative, but when holidays started, he stopped a bit. I would always wait for him to do everything and I would feel bad to take the initiative which is stupid. There were some times I confronted him about this and he would always say I was over reacting and more stuff. I guess he understood that a relationship without trust is not healthy. He was right, just like all relationships, everything was perfect in the beginning and then "the honeymoon phase" is gone.
He told me he wasn't ready for love and I deserved better. We shouldn't give so much in the beginning so I would get used to his space and he wouldn't feel so pressured about being in a relationship.
It has been 2 days and I still can't accept he's really gone. Btw, I found out his Facebook password (I know this isn't correct) and saw some messages with a very young chick and well he is so sweet with her. That hurt me so much because I think they have something...`
Any good advice? :/


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think it's time to move on. You can think about him and miss him all you want, but it isn't going to make him want you back. I am sorry it happened like that and it was pretty low of him to breakup through fb, buy there's not much you can do. You'll definitely find someone else who'll have a better personality and you'll just naturally be more attracted to. Just let time pass and you'll have a new love eventually.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE

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What Guys Said 2

  • My goodness you're a clingy little thing. You're also dramatic. It's a give that two people dramatize so this is closer to an outright lie than a real view of the situation; it's obvious that you completely disrespected personal space, was anxious all the time, and mildly obsessive.

    He's not the bad guy. You're the bad girl. I don't think his breaking up with you was harsh at all because I can't think of many people who would want to tolerate that highly dependent overly-needy behavior.

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    • For some reason some friends call me "Drama Queen". Well, what you said seemed rude, but thanks, I guess you were the only one to see that the problem was mine. But hey, about last week: I was right. He spent a whole week without inviting me to hang out. That's ok if he wanted to be with friends, but what if he doesn't talk? That's the problem and I wasn't over reacting. He ignored me for a week to think about us, he admited that. But you're right, I'm too dramatic. It's because I got used to see him all available to me in the beginning.
      So, you think he got tired of my attitudes and then his feelings started to fade away?

    • Show All
    • I thought all the rebounds were a waste of time and that wouldn't make guys forget about this situation.
      Is it wrong to want him back? Because I never wanted this, but he did. Since everything is so fresh and I'm aware of my "mistakes", I wanted things go back to normal. Of course I don't want to beg him to come back or stop with "no contact", but I wanted him to see the good old reasons for wanting to be with me.
      At the same time, I think that's not right for me because sometimes what you miss is not what you need. I still don't know what to do...

    • It's normal to want the man back. You wouldn't change though and the black mark is already there; there is no real "clean slate" with people unless we suffer amnesia.

      Just sit down and write out a list of things you actually want to work on, but only three items long, and stay single until you can say with confidence you have those three things in check.

  • I remember you.You are the girl with 17 years old bf whose busy with his friends?
    As what i predicted.So he broke up with you.tsk.tsk.
    You should move on.Your still young and the sea is full of Fishes.

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    • Yep, your not even 18 omg, there is so many choices for you...

What Girls Said 2

  • Well regardless of him chatting to another girl, it's just shitty behavior for any boyfriend to leave their girl hanging on a end for days or not initiating things. I'm almost positive that the problem here isn't you wanting more from him, but him not having enough feelings for you. It sounds like he makes time for everything and everyone but his own gf which is not right, nor what a relationship should ever be. A relationship is a partnership where both individuals commit to making a effort. You can't be the only giving while having him on the other end not doing anything and blaming it on "needing alone time". He should be wanting to spend time with you. I get that people need their off days (I need them too!) but if you feel neglected in a relationship then usually it's because you ARE being neglected. You need to realize that you deserve a boyfriend who treats you with respect, kindness and love. You should not deserve someone who you give all your love to who only ends up taking but not giving.

    If I were you I'd immediately get rid of his Facebook password and stop agonizing over the other girl. I'd block him from all social sites, delete his number and break off all communication channels. Why? Because this is needed to heal and to move forward. You'll never ever be able to heal and move on if you keep him there. You need to get rid of all possible reminders and focus on other things. Occupy your mind with positive thoughts and PLEASE read this when you have time. https://www.breakuprecoveryguide.com/ This is pretty much the ultimate break up guide and if you read everything and practice what is said in this link, you'll heal and progress faster than you could imagine.

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  • You should move on. Your boyfriend is not a true boyfriend. If he was a true boyfriend, he wouldn't care about any girls except you.

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