Getting over first boyfriend even though he dumped a while ago? Advice please?

I wasn't ready to have sex yet with my first boyfriend and he dumped me for other reasons, but he did wait. I wasn't ready, but I loved him. We have been broken up a while now, I figured out ways to move on and live without him, but I still love him and miss SOMETIMES! It just been hard for me. He doesn't want me, but at times I hope he comes back just to say sorry, I have some guilt about how I tried to seek revenge on him.(Childish). Its hard for me, please don't judge me. Pray for me. Advice?


Most Helpful Guy

  • When we seek revenge on someone we 'love' it's about selfishness and not love anymore :) cause we just can't hurt someone we love EXCEPT in a moment of anguish but that moment matters :)

    Yes that feeling sure comes up especially when you are immersed in that person and have let down your guard. But that feeling comes up more when you have had expectations and plans with that person & you feel let down. The latter is most time selfishness that we misconstrue for love.

    I firmly believe in 'there is no past tense in loving someone, it's either you always will or you never did'

    Hence, generally for someone who believes in love the way I do a negative thought that will hurt or harm or even make them bow before me will never arise even for a second. But yes I'd sure like it if they were back with me. However, not at the cost of their happiness if they are currently happy elsewhere :) They're happy, yes I'm happy.

    Not that I don't miss them or similar, I do but guess that's a part of emotions and sentiments we all feel.

    Breaking up with the woman I love (she dumped me lol - acceptable reasons though) & my child being taken away from me has been and still is a heart rendering experience for me. I miss them, the smell of their hair & skin, their smile; you name it all the while every moment with every breath & beat. But I don't want them with me at the cost of even a fraction of their happiness :)

    I'm sure all here including me pray for the best for you and your well being :)

    1st bf / gf etc are a sensitive issue and you are not wrong in what you feel. Time heals everything. I'd say continue with your life, I have :) what's to happen will happen. Relish the good memories, bad ones will dissipate :) Good luck & god bless :)

    • I have let him break me down! Being rejecting in life for the first time is hard. And I truly loved him and wanted it to work

    • Show All
    • Thank you young lady for your kind and thoughtful gesture of selecting my opinion the MH :) :) I appreciate the same wholeheartedly

    • No problem!

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Get over it. Yeah, that's my advice. Stop "trying" and just do it; it's not really that bad and it was a long time ago. Stop with the whole living in the past bullshit.

  • What you want and what he wants is incompatible. The sooner you accept that and close the door on anything remotely resembling a rebound the better. For me, no contact and staying busy helps.


What Girls Said 1

  • I'm sorry :( I miss my ex very much, I'm ok while I'm occupied then the minute I think about him I get a lump in my throat, almost makes me feel sick. My ex doesn't want me either and the frustrating thing is being out of control, there is nothing I can do to have back what we had.

    You just have to go with you, you have to get through the hard part to get out the other side, it won't get easier in 5 minutes but time is a great healer. The best I can do is keep busy and keep good people around me. I will be praying for you and I hope soon the hurt will go away. Again I'm sorry but keep strong! You will get through it :)


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