Can me and my ex actually be "best friends"?

My ex and I broke up a little over two weeks ago (we dated for about 7 1/2 months). The relationship was bad timing for him (he graduates later this year and with his career he doesn't know where he will be moving to because his future is so unpredictable and he doesn't want to put me through that) and he doesn't want a long term relationship until he knows his life and career path. He said he had a fantastic time dating me and it made his school year a lot better. He still wants me as his best friend though.

We made it clear that we will still have feelings for each other for awhile but we can't really act on it as of right now. But we talk ALL THE TIME. It was almost as if we never broke up, except we don't do the kissing or anything like that. I never initiate the contact anymore, he does. We still hang out a lot too and he still flirts with me too.

I honestly don't think this is healthy for us and that we can't just be best friends if there were no problems in the relationship and we both said feelings would still be there. What do you all think?
He also just said if he even hangs with his other girl friends, it will 90+% of the time be at some coffee shop but with other things such as festivals, he'd rather go to those w/ me than them. He also said I'm the perfect fit for a girl best friend


Most Helpful Guy

  • Short answer: possibly

    Longer answer: It is possible, but rather unlikely. I've noticed among people I know or have observed that there are three likely scenarios when hanging around ex's.

    1) Fast forward a few months or a year and the two of them hate each other's guts.
    2) Fast forward a few months or a year and one of them gets his or her heart broken all over again when the other starts a relationship with someone else.
    3) Fast forward a few months or a year and they are still friends.

    Sadly, 1 and 2 seem to be the most likely outcomes. I don't know why, but it just happens that way.

    • Yeah I am just so confused. I already told him if he was to find another girl before he graduated since he said he doesn't want a long term relationship until after graduation then I'm cutting him off for good. He said he knows I'd probably do that so he definitely has that in mind for how much he'd actually care about me like he says he does.

      He did mention that he would like to get back together with me if he finds a career close to me when he was ready since we had no problems during our relationship. He said that it's a good thing on my "resume" if he still wants me around in his life.

      I just think it will be almost impossible because I still have all these strong feelings for him and I know he probably does too but they're probably not as strong anymore

    • Show All
    • I'm not sure what you mean when you say "but it doesn't help..."

      Why don't you just not answer? Or answer once saying, "We need space from each other. Please understand this?"

    • I'm actually going to ask him for space here soon. I still can't handle the thought of him with any other girl in any occasion and I need my space from him to heal

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