I am so confused and don't know how it's suppose to be?

So I got out of a long term relationship after ex cheated. My family history does have cheating involved after my dad walked out on my mom. My ex says he loved me very much but I just couldn't deal with him hurting me. He would do many things for me that showed his love. Anything or everything I wanted he would do for me. I have learned that my sister's husband cheats on her. They had my 3 beautiful nieces who I love very much. Before all this when my sister found out about my ex cheating she told me to talk it out first. I did and forgave him. After another time I ended it with him. Now every time my sister's husband buys my sister a present calls me to look at it. He buys her things for Christmas and holidays. I see him trying to show his suppose love for her. It kind of makes me feel like his cheating diminishes because of this. Are we suppose to just deal with cheating and that will make your life good?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I live with the idea that in every relationship, there should be at least one big mistake that should be forgiven. That being said, if I'm in a relationship with someone and she chronically cheats on me, then I'll leave her. If it is only once and we talk about it then I will try and forgive her and deal with, but only if it happens once.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • No you are not supposed to just tolerate it. Regardless of whatever excuse is given for the act cheating is a sign of disrespect towards you and a sign of selfishness. I don't understand how someone can say they love you and yet make love to another person. that is not love. that is sick. Whether one puts up with it depends on ones self worth. We accept the love we believe we deserve. Maybe you feel you can't do any better. Maybe you feel stuck in this situation and can't see a positive future without him. I can understand if you sister has children how she may feel that her children would better off with a father and maybe money wise it would be a struggle to seperate. However if you have no children or obligation to stay committed to this man then do not. His words don't match his actions. which means his words are a lie. He will say whatever it takes to get you to believe what he wants. Even that he loves you. But love doesn't hurt. it may sting from time to time but it doesn't hurt. You don't betray someone you love like that. You don't make them feel that way. If you want to settle for a life with someone who cheats on you than you do that however, men with integrity don't do this. And yes a good man is hard to find, but I would rather be alone with the possibility of finding a good man then spend the rest of my life miserable or content with someone who disrespects my heart.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • BBBBUUUUULLLLLLL SSSSSHHHHHHHTTTTT... I wish someone would cheat on me.. It would be over before they even knew what hit them. DO NOT CONFORM TO THIS KIND OF MISTREATMENT! Stand up for what is right and put this person in their place. I would die a single person before i "accepted" a cheater as my spouse.. "I can do bad all by my self"... JS...

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    • I know I've been reading on that Tony Gaskins guy and what he says sounds pretty true. It just kind of makes me feel bad her husband looks like he's trying. He buys her things and does things for her just like my ex would do. Her husband looks like he's trying but at the end he's a cheater just like my ex. He was surprised when I dumped him and begged me back for months. My family even said he would pamper and do everything for me. As much as I hate to admit it he did and when I needed him there he was there. It hurt to let him go but I couldn't forget these two women. It just seems the people that are in marriages like my sister's may be better off than me. They get to stay with the one they love plus get everything else. While now I'm here I guess their happy and while I'm happy being single I miss having someone with me. Pretty much just settle. Many of these marriages in cheating could survive cheating are together for years.

    • He even wanted to move in together get married and have children. He was giving me all I wanted except half of his heart the part that is reserved for only him. He was scared to give me his whole heart.

    • Too bad.. NNNNEEXXTT? Find a man who is more secure and reliable? Just doesn't seem like this guy is legit in my opinion...

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