Most confusing date with ex ever...maybe someone can help figure out what's up with this man?

Ok...we broke up a month ago. It was his choice and I've wanted to get back together since we split. We were living together and his 14 year old son had to move in because he was fighting a lot with his mom. He broke up with me because he says he needs to focus on his son right now and doesn't have time to devote to me as well so I should find someone with no baggage.
I had already purchased us concert tickets for this weekend before we split so I asked him if he'd like to go still. We were still texting here and there. He jumped at the chance and we met there on Friday. We had a couple of drinks and, unprovoked by me because I really didn't want to talk about it, he started talking about our breakup. He said all of his friends love me and miss me and think we're going to get back together. He also talked about how hard it is to find a woman your friends all like. Then he hinted his dad thought he made a big mistake as well but his mom just wants us to be happy. I told him I think we'll get back together too once he gets his other situation figured out and is feeling less stressed and he seemed happy with my answer. Then he basically says anything is possible but he just feels like the compatibility is going to be a problem and he can't give me the attention I need. I told him I'm perfectly capable of occupying myself and being with him at the same time but he shrugged me off. I also told him I'd like to support him and his child at the same time.
At this point I decide to just enjoy the concert because he's basically saying we're still not getting back together. Then he starts touching me and putting his arm around me. We went to dinner after the concert and then when it was time to leave we hugged and he was lingering. Then he said he really wanted to kiss me but didn't want me to get the wrong impression. Naturally we kissed passionately and he said we were always very sexually compatible. I am so confused by this interaction...any ideas?

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  • Yes, the martyr play he acts so well - academy award! Applause!
    Everything he says is true about being together = a natural but removes his feelings from it to avoid getting into a trap that he'll have to wrestle out of.

    1. He's too stupid to raise this brat - who is fine with fighting, fine with his dad being lonely, selfish (but understandable) goal is to reunite mom/dad at any cost to others (NOT going to happen)
    2. He's too stupid/stubborn to get help with this brat, someone that would a) open his eyes to this wrecking ball, b) give him tools to deal with it so both could have normal lives (& you could move back in... at least figuratively)
    3. He's so stupid he feels a betrayal of his ex when kids are around and you join in.
    4. The stupider, the longer it takes for them to wake up... maybe too late. A friend waited until his/ex kids moved off to college to finally have him all to herself, only for him to fill the gap - not so much with her, as on line chatting. UGH

    So no more confusion
    A. He gets pro counselling - main topic brat & moving on (to
    you)
    B. Sorry Charlie, I am booked with dates - call me when your head clears up.

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    • I'm so glad you put these thoughts into words! Total martyr act right? Why am I the one who has to suffer and leave my home because his son needs help? The son was in counseling but the counselor stopped seeing him because he kept missing appointments with the mom.
      I recommended therapy but my ex said he doesn't need it and has no faith in it (even though we're both in counseling professions). I feel like he's trying to keep me on the hook and to make sure I don't move on...but at the same time he has no interest in getting me back right now. I'm certainly not gonna wait around for 4 years until his son goes to college...thanks so much for your input.

    • Sign at chiropractor office: Bad idea - thinking it will go away... (always call us immediately!)

      My relative counselor always went to other counselors to spruce up one's profession & personal life.
      Another relative: good architects go to architect to improve their presentations & salesmanship, not just their designs.

      Send him a letter
      I found a perfect counselor that has solved cases like yours - here's the name & your appointment date - be there, else I'll no longer listen to these woes nor excuses... and be moving on. I DO LOVE you.

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