Pros and cons of dating a divorced guy with kids?

Need advice. Pros and cons of dating a divorced man with kids?


Most Helpful Guy

  • His calendar will be stuffed with work + visitation - child support funds, if he's worth his salt. You will have to give more with such a guy than with others.

    Once in a long term relationship, be a team player:
    .. get the lawyer's visitation schedule
    .. create a calendar - per se - with those instructions
    .. be the negotiator - if allowed - over trading these days for those days when the surprise calls arrive; know that you can trade up in visitation time when the other side has forgotten to make these courtesy arrangements (used to rolling over him like he doesn't matter) well in advance to an important family function
    .. never say negative things about the other side when children are visiting, even if you think they are out of ear shot
    .. yes, you can have kids of your own and see them all grow up to be normal siblings loving each other

    • Wow tks. Sounds like you're speaking from is the dynamic of being the "new" woman and dealing with the ex wife?

    • Never turn your back on them & if they try to step all over your visitation calendar @ last minute, force them to trade more than they are getting. Although it's wise to learn HER side of the split up story, thereafter, best to deal with her hubby. Segregation is key, otherwise, she'll manipulate herself between you two. Kids come first, adults never condone "dishing" the other family. Etiquette rules when at common kid functions.

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What Guys Said 1

  • If you like him, do it. It won't be easy in terms of your relationship with the kids, but it's best to let them feel you won't play the role of "replacement mommy" except if they ask for it.
    Otherwise you may soon get the reaction (with tears involved) "YOU'RE NOT MY MOM aaaaaaaaaaaaaah).
    No do, just be "Sophie or Suzy". A good friend...


What Girls Said 1

  • I've dating a guy with two kids for a year and a half. The cons are (for me): He can't make up his mind if he wants another kid (I want one), he is always broke because 2/3's of his income goes to child support, we never have days off together that are just him and I, and holidays are always revolved around his kids (of course) and his family and if I ever want to see my family on a holiday, I have to go solo. Pros (for me): ...uhhh...Can't think of one.