My girlfriend of 2 years says we don't know each other and that there isn't a connection?

My girlfriend has said that there is problems and would ask if we are going to be okay. She doesn't know if we are going to be together.

She said there has been problems for the last 6 months and she was giving me the signs. Her signs were cryptic and often involving me to figure them out. She would tell me she isn't happy and that I need to try harder.

Last few weeks she was doing okay, kissy and huggy and all that. I took her to her a concert. This weekend I'm taking her on a getaway trip, but she feels as though it may be too late for us.

What should I do?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Dump her.

    If she's in the sane age range as you and is STILL playing these idiotic mind games, expecting you to just know, then this relationship is not worth it.

    A grown-ass woman, who can't say what she wants after being together for 2 years and thinks it's your job to read her mind can go fuck herself.

    Cryptic messages... fekin teenage drama is what your gf reeks of. She needs to grow up and make you aware of how she feels, then you can work on it. If it's not working out, then fair enough.
    But she chose to act like an entitled little girl. Do you really want to be involved with someone like that?

    Also, postpone the trip. Something tells me she'll happily go, THEN break up.
    Sort this out before you spend anymore cash on this woman.

    • Thanks for the advice, yes she is a year older than I am. Unfortunately, I don't know if I can postpone as I booked the hotel and will have to cancel in 24 hours - I would lose the money on room. Should I try to move it, go by myself, or just lose the money?

      She tells me I should know all this stuff, and I feel I have certainly tried. Like I need to communicate more. I told her she needs to work on things too. Last night she was saying I wasn't take her out enough and I didn't have effort.

      We also live together. Trying to figure this one out. Last night I went out for an hour or two, came back and decided to sleep on the couch.

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    • Surely she would understand how life works. It's not all sunshine and butterflies all the time.

      For awhile I was the one "putting in the effort", because my partner was too busy with work and trying to figure out what he wants to do in life.

    • Yes, true. Last night she said she isn't sure about us and where was on all this months ago. She said she gave me signs, but I couldn't read her mind.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I have a feeling she feels disconnected because she doesn't put in enough effort to feel more connected. You shouldn't lose the money for the hotel, but I don't really think this'll last. If she isn't happy, then she needs to START TALKING and resolve the frickin' conflicts instead of attempting to get your mind read.

    • How should I handle this trip? Ignore things? Just have fun myself and treat it like its my trip?

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    • No problem. Since we live together, trying to figure out how we should sort things.

    • I hope it's being resolved.

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What Girls Said 5

  • If this is how she feels, then there really isn't anything else you can do. OTHER than openly asking her what the problem is. If she can't put her finger on the exact problem, then it's too late for you two. If this is the case, she feels unnerved by multiple things or by the state of being with you - this isn't good and it can't be fixed.
    If you DO manage to fix some things, others will arise and bury you in the avalanche of new problems and dilemmas. There is no escape (in my opinion). The best thing for you two to do is reevaluate the parameters of your relationship, see why you ended up together i the first place, if the feelings are still there, if the passion can still be found, if you're not together just for the sake of not being alone...or just for the sake of being comfortable...
    Be honest with each other.

    To me, it sounds like she's over it or she found another guy. ?

    • Not sure she found another guy, but possibly over it. Earlier in the day I sent her flowers at work and she said she wants me to do that more (before we had this convo tonight). She said things need to change and she doesn't know about us.

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    • Well, I hope you do find happiness with another girl. If this didn't work out, she's clearly not the one for you.

    • Thank you for the update, by the way. =)

  • A relationship is a thing for two! I don't like the fact that she blames things on you just like that ("you need to try harder" etc.).

    I do not think it's too late! Just show her how much you really like her and what she means to you. I would kill to be in your seat and have such agreta chance of showing the one you love these things...

  • Talk to her and be honest, both of you. Ask her to be direct and to the point, not expecting you to figure it out by some clues, a relationship isn't cluedo. The weekend you planned could be a good way to see how your relationship is right now, and find a calm moment to talk to her about things. You speak your mind, she does the same while being to the point. If she can't be honest or if she's letting you figure it out by yourself again, make a decision. Do you want to keep on lingering or do you want clarity?

    • We talked tonight, I told her how I felt. She told me she doesn't know if we're going to be okay. Should we try talking more?

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    • It seems she has problems sometimes with people. At work, her best friends. She goes, "I don't know these people" when something happens in their behave that is adverse to her.

    • Hm, I do think just talking to her, again, should bring some light on the situation. Ask her for her opinion and advice, how she sees and wants things, and give her your opinion and plans/visions for the future and see if you can come to a conclusion where both of you can be happy.

  • Take a break and give her some space to work out some of the problems she's having

    • We live together, how should we take a break?

  • Ur not getting her the way she wishes you did... U say you did this and that for her, does she even c care for those things. She's missing an emotional connection

    • How can I get an emotional connection with her?

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