My ex bf is confusing me. I need some advice, please?

My ex bf of 5years broke up with me because we were always arguing because he technically wanted to get his way with everything especially with going out clubbing and blowing whatever money he had left instead of saving. When ever I tried rationalizing with him he doesn't want to hear it and I get frustrated because when he ends up in stuff I am there, his friends and nobody else helps him. So he finally broke up with me one day saying I try to control his life blah blah. I basically was the one trying to tell him for us to talk about it and work it out. I finally got tired and went no contact. For four days straight he kept trying to get a hold of me. He ended up calling my mom's phone one night but I was sleeping. He then called my work phone in the morning when I was at work. So I talked to him to make sure everything is ok because he never calls my work phone unless it's important. I'm not saying he's a horrible person, he's actually the most caring person in my life. He always tells me he's always thinking of me and misses me and will always love me no matter what he just can't live life the way it was and is working a lot more to pay off his debts. Anyway when I talked to him when I was at work he asked me why I have been ignoring him that I had him worried that just because we broke up doesn't mean we can't still be in each others lives. I told him he told me to leave him be so I did, and I can't keep contact because he knows how hard it is for me to move on n it's the only way I can move on from him. We talked the next day and he told me we just need to take things slow because whenever we get back together he wants to make sure it's for good...I don't know what to think a part of me believes him and don't want to cut contact again but a part of me wants to go no contact again. What should I do in this situation? I love him with all my heart and do want things to work out...


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  • I've been through the same crap. I can tell you from experience that there are just some things in a person that don't change. He probably doesn't know what he wants at this point if he's confusing you then that means he's confused. Even though he says one thing it doesn't mean it's true or that he will go through with it. Not to sound ugly but he also might have found someone else and broke up with you because of it, no matter what you said to him it wouldn't have changed his mind. And he's contacting you to keep you around so just in case it doesn't work with that other girl or guy (you never know) he can go back to you because he knows you'll take him back because you love him. He's your ex now because HE didn't want to be with you and told you to basically back off as an asshole would do! If he loved you like you love him then he would stay with you and work through the problems instead of breaking up with you and having his freedom to do only god and him knows what. Stay single and enjoy yourself now as an independent woman. He wants you and everything else, don't give in.

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    • Hey thanks so much for taking the time to read and reply. I couldn't really fit the whole thing on here because there was so much to say, but do you think I can message you to tell the rest and for more advice? I thought maybe if it's ok with you since you have gone through the same?

    • Of course you can. I'm more than willing to help.

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