When you break off a friendship or relationship how do you know if you made the right decsion?

I'm sad about a message I left a guy but I know I can't take it back
I don't think I would take it back if I could because it needed to be said but for some reason I feel sad now "one day later"

Not sure if it's because I actually should be fighting to work it out or if this is just part of the final moving on process

Pretty much the message was just me asking for privacy, space because I'm trying to move on and that's really hard when he's still floating around this idea of "US" to all his friends when we haven't spoken in a year.

Oh and his friends "pretty much the deal breaker"
A large religious close knit group made up of similar ethnicities
And me completely different in every way
Let's just say there are some not so friendly people in that group
Who made some rather derogatory and racist comments about me not being good enough for him pretty much why I told him that I really just need him to stop associating our names together I didn't extend any future offers of friendship or anything
I tried to keep it short and simple as to why I was requesting what I was because honestly who wants to deal with that

But I still feel bad I know this was a fear of his like if he got romantically involved it would ruin everything
& it's his friends not him but in some backwards way all my anger is towards him none of these people know me personally so if it wasn't for him non of these problems would exist which makes it his fault in a way

I'm just hoping I made the right
decsion. But he's not fighting to fix it "I didn't expect an objection "so I think it was the right choice.

Was my decision wrong? Could I have handled it differently.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I left my guy for not giving me what I wanted in a relationship, like for example, simple communication. I told him why I was leaving him then unfriend him. Yes, he was hot but I won't disrespect myself for his looks. How did I know I did the right thing? By the simple fact he didn't try to win me back. Not even sorry.

    • Okay, so someone understands my way of thinking. "If he's my fighting to fix it then I made the right decision" or my expectations are too high for a 20 year old college guy.

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    • Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice. Shame on me.
      I was just tired of putting him excuses. Tired of hear so much sweet things yet no actions.
      I wasn't going to be his dumb girl anymore. Kick his a$$ to the curve.
      Girl, you deserve better. You know you do.

    • Great pep talk girl ^_^

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What Guys Said 3

  • Did he address the issue with his friends when they made derogatory and racists comments about you not being good enough for him?

    If he did not, as your posts indicates, then you most certainly did the right thing.

    If a guy does stand behind you, especially when his assistance is required, then he should not stand with you. Period.

    • Well it's mostly done behind his back so how could he

      At most extreme they'll make a joke about it in front of him and it'll be one of those "shut the hell up moments"
      everyone gets quiet
      then they wipe it under the rug and act like nothing happened

      Doubt he'd go against his so called "brothers of god"
      Which is why I voluntarily chose to remove myself from the situation without warning

    • We're all just going to have to go exist for the next 2 years until graduation

  • No, you have to stand up for yourself. If you've been wronged, you should confront that rather than fade away or ignore it. Some friendships need the test a bad argument brings to see if they're genuine or not. I recently called out a girl for letting our friendship become totally one-sided. We got into a horrible fight. I tried repairing things but she wouldn't meet me halfway. I lost her "friendship." Do I regret what I said? No, but I was sad it ended that way. She wasn't willing to change and I wasn't willing to let things stay the way they were. It sucks but it was the right decision. I think you are making the right one too. It may be hard now nut you'll look back and realize it had to be done.

    • Wow. The exact same thing happened to me and my ex Bestfriend. That was almost a year ago. Defiantly don't regret it
      Haha didn't know that issue was so common

    • Yeah, I'm learning shitty, flaky people are everywhere. At first I thought it was just my luck. Now I know better.

  • You have to go by what your heart tells you
    if someone is making you sick emotionally
    than it's time to move on, we all have a heart
    follow your dreams , i do not let people hurt me
    if someone wants bully me, i move on with and
    let them go for good.


What Girls Said 1

  • normally i start feeling much better

    • That's what I was expecting to feel like.
      He was honestly 1 of 3 people that I wanted to make amends with. Like I did with another guy also prior to leaving the message and I felt like the world had been lifted off my shoulders but I don't feel that way with him for some reason

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    • But I already did, pretty sure you can't take that back

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