I cheated back on my narcissistic boyfriend and now he's trying to manipulate me into staying? How do I tell him no?

Ok this douche bag looks at himself in any and every reflective surface. When we are just about to step on the door to go to an event last night he lifts up his shirt exposing his abs and asking me "how do I look"

The weeks leading up to the finale of bullshit he was telling me how much of a bad person he is, how I deserve better, and he wants to be able to be with other girls including his friend (who I found out from her bf and my best friend he was cheating with). Turns out one of the reasons he didn't leave me was because she ended up picking her boyfriend and uses the excuse he didn't wanna go through a break up alone. The other girl was supposed to leave her bf but she chickened out though apparently

After he was distraught and would cry about her asking for reassurance about her and admitted they loved each other.

Meanwhile after I found out for sure he created, I know I shouldn't have but I hooked up with one of my friends. We didn't plan on it but we both started to get feelings for each other.

At the same time my bf is telling me it was drugs that made him act that way and he wants to be sober. But I'm not sure. I don't believe him and I think he will continue to disappoint me. He always promises to chance, does for several months and does something to make me mad. This one by far was the most heart breaking that caused me to miss weeks of work & 15 lbs in 2 weeks

He keeps manipulating me how a narcissist does. :(0

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You are not a victim. It happens once? Fine. Happens twice? Nope. Happens I'm a pattern: That's on you. You want to be there, it's obvious, but why? That's the question.

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    • What happened is he first admitted to a random girl coming up to him at a party, ambushing him with a kiss and he pulled away. I tried to let go of it but he was wing really shady acting as if he did something more significant and the guilt was piling up and he wasn't treating me well. Then when I found out he cheated I basically went cold (since I grieved him cheating a while ago even though I didn't know for sure if what friends told me were true). Why I stay? Four years is a long time and I feel really hurt and confused clouded by heart break and new love I'm getting from another guy. Why don't I just go with the other guy? He's in the military and has gone away for a couple months for training and won't be back until mid June probably. I think I need to take a break from both of them. I was just hoping anyone who had experience win narcissists would be able to give me some advice on how to keep my sanity and leave if I have to

    • Sanity... That is a precious commodity. The easiest way to maintain sanity is to remove the neurotoxins themselves. This is the first time in a year and two months I've suggest No-Contact as a solution. If you are easily guilted and he is that dangerous as you claim there's absolutely no way you can afford to talk to him for a prolonged amount of time. If you must see him keep it short but don't drag it beyond public interaction.

Most Helpful Girl

  • You leave him. You have the power to stay or to leave. He can't force you to stay. He'll never change. Stop wasting your time, energies, and emotions. Start a new chapter.

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What Guys Said 4

  • First is he just narcissistic or does he have the personality disorder? Of course you want to stay, the narcissist is a master of manipulation, you almost end up scared to leave. He is wobbling, you are not co-dependant enough to take on board his insecurities. Remember that is the narcissists insecurities that they put onto you. Walk... if he has narcissistic personality disorder it is never a safe place to be x

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  • Break up with this dude ASAP.

    Normally I'd give a more thorough and thoughtful opinion, but this is the road that all sings are pointing toward. There's just not much more I can add than to just tell you to leave him.

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  • You two are both toxic people who deserve each other's poisons.

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    • I don't know what you're talking about. I'm a really good girlfriend who never snapped for 4 years after all his b.s. Doing his laundry, cooking meals/cleaning for him. Offering him nothing but love and support, making time for him no matter how busy I get. I just felt like doing me with part of the intention making him drop to his knees and feel what it feels like to be cheated on. Sad thing is that I probably won't stop since I lost respect for him. I don't even think he deserves the courtesy of a break up- I don't know I may just be saying that out of anger.

  • Lay down the law with him. Tell him no means no. Guys like him aren't worth your time.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Please STOP getting caught up in this BS. Leave his ass. Enough said and good luck.

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