Why does my ex not want to fix things between us, yet still reach out like she does?

Me and my ex had a Horrible break up years ago. Were engaged, Stood by her choice to get an abortion. Things fell apart after that.

After years of fighting about it, hurt feelings and so on. Seems to be our yearly thing, almost a tradition at this point. We just have this thing that no matter how bad it gets we are pulled towards each other. A curse really.

Somehow we got in touch,( again ) Going over the regrets of our life. What things didn't work and so on. I don't know maybe it makes us feel better knowing either of us have the one up in life over the other yet we both feel bad hearing the other having a hard time..

The thing is I left the door open to fix things. All she had to do was walk in it. And she chooses not to. There has been plenty of other people since then in her life and even then she sends me a picture of herself. She says things like
" It doesn't work because it's not you " In referring to the man who made her abort the kid he didn't want with her, then dumped her. And other shit that shows she cares, But she doesn't want to fix it..

I tried a good 3/4 times to fix things. I drove 8 hours a few times. Hell one time I offered to take care of her when she thought she was knocked up by someone she was just leaving and didn't want to go back. I would have joined the military to help if it meant she didn't have to go back to someone she didn't want to and have the child. ( turned out to be a miscarriage).

I just can't figure out why go through this if deep down there is something we both want to happen? Why keep telling me she wants to fix things and doesn't?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Dude, this girls a mess. She's getting pregnant quite a lot by the sounds of it, which means she has no forwarding planning whatsoever and doesn't think about her actions having consequences. She keeps going to you because you let her and you make her feel good about herself. She knows you would do anything to help her which is why she keeps you stringed along... For an emotional crutch and support. Distance yourself from her and try and break this deep bond you both think is there. You are clinging onto something which will never happen.

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    • The thing is im not a nice guy. I dont really help her do a thing. if anything I tell her off whenever she tries to come to me for support. Like I said we argue more than anything. I pretty much tell her that she's an idiot and she makes her choices willingly.

    • It seems to me from the info you've given that she still sees you as someone to turn to. Even if you do chastise her for her actions it's still showing that you care about her well being. Parents usually tell you when you've do e something stupid, yet a lot of us will turn to them when we feel the need for support. If I were you I'd give her an ultimatum; if you want this then let's work on it and do it, if you don't then just leave me alone because this is not working for me.

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 1

  • You poor bastard! She doesn't want to fix things with you because she doesn't see you as a "bad boy"--you are too much of a "nice" guy. PM me, I won't to show you something that will serve to help you.

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    • The thing is im not a nice guy. I dont really help her do a thing. if anything I tell her off whenever she tries to come to me for support. Like I said we argue more than anything. I pretty much tell her that she's an idiot and she makes her choices willingly.

    • Ha ha alright man. Well good luck then but it doesn't sound like she's worth the emotions effort

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