Should I break up with her? Someone I care for cause of this?

I am havin a tough time if I should break it off with my gf of 10 months? We live 40 miles away from each other.Which isn’t bad, but I do 99% of the travelin (she has only been out my way 3 times – didn't come for Xmas/Easter either).Reason bein is she lives on her own & I live at home.Which I get I should be doing more visitin to her since she lives on her own.Maybe 70% me travel 30 her, but it is at 99 me 1% her.Travelin 40 miles EACH WAY 2 days a week (80 miles per trip-$70 per week in gas) is startin to take a toll on me.#1 I have put 10.2K miles on my leased car I just got 7 months ago (only allowed 12K per year,#2 i am not the best financially to be the only 1 doing the travelin & #3 it is just getting so repetitive doin the same trip & havin to spend my weekends in the same exact place for 10 straight mnths.I said I need u to mayb come out my way once a week cause of those 3 situations above.She got all upset sayin that I should be the 1 travelin cause she lives on her own (this is her #1 like argument of why I shld be travelin). She started cryin sayin that I didn't care for her & I was just trying to cut the days down I see her & she started sayin it wasn’t feasible for her to meet cause she works 30 min in the oppo direction as me.We have been on this topic for 2 weeks & she just won't see my point.I only went over 1 time last week (if she isn't goin to work with me I have to do what I have to do),& said that it is not the same cause I was only over 1 day.I said come to me whenever! We dont have to go to my house we can go out for dinner, a movie, a drink! She said I can’t give her what she needs by coming once a week.That I am not the guy she thought I was, & that I didn't love her anymore (all of which is untrue).What makes this tough is besides this (and her not visiting my fam on the holidays ) we have not had 1 argument ever! It was completely perfect! She cooks for me, gives me a nice place to stay & has been a lovin gf to me.


Most Helpful Girl

  • My philosophy always is if your thinking about breaking up with a person that's probably what you should do. Every time I let it go on when I was thinking about breaking up with someone it went on to long and we both got hurt pretty bad in the end. It's best to end it sooner.

    • Yeah great point. The longer you wait to do it the tougher it's going to be for both. It's just hard cause I don't in a sense want to do it but if she can't understand where I am coming from in this then I can't imagine bigger things down the road. Like come on I have came to your place 10 straight months every single weekend and spent $2,800 roughly in gas and 10,200 miles on a lease car I have to watch. And I ask you to come out my way for a little bit like once a week and I am the bad guy? Come on ya know? If I were her and she came to my place 10 months straight I would feel bad and say he babe you have done this so much let me come out your way some times just cause you have been doing it so much. Like I shouldn't even have to ask her. If she was considerate she would see my situation and try to help me out a tad bit here. Thanks for your response.

    • No problem:) she has to be willing to compromise and would you want to be with someone who would try to manipulate and stomp all over you for the rest of your life?

    • No I wouldn't want someone to manipulate or stomp all over me forever that would suck! it's tough cause this has never happened between us before. This being like the first time it's hard for me to make a decision or to in a way make this "a deal breaker". She did sorta the same thing around the holidays where I visited her family but when it was time for me to leave to visit mine she wouldn't/couldnt come she said, she got all emotional when I wanted to leave without her, and I ended up giving in and didn't see my family on Christmas and stayed there (this was our only other fight). I was like look I have to see my family if you can't come I gotta roll. She started crying and said I should spend my Christmas with her. It sucked cause she never comes out my way and didn't on an important day like Christmas. When my family wants to see me and her ya know? Little things like that she don't get.

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What Guys Said 1

  • No need to break up. If distance mattered so much, you should have thought on this earlier.

    • Well it didn't matter at alll. But with my car situation (lease 10.2 k miles) and money situation after 10 months it's starting to become something I need to watch out for. Which is why I suggested her help out a tad. It wasn't a problem at first but these are things I need to watch out for now. At first it was fine but now money istight and my leased car is blowing up with miles. I need to watch. It's not so much the distance it's other factors and she knows that I need help and won't see my point.

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    • have a valid point. Just say that you love her very much and you were thinking of this for her good. You can add " hey sweet heart, you need a guy who can spend more time with you, who can be with you whenever you want. I am just upset with my self that i cannot give those valuable time to you as it needs to be...i fear that i won't be able to match up to your expectations.. Hence..."
      Hey man one question to you...WHY DON'T YOU SIMPLY PROPOSE HER TO MARRY? PROBLEM SOLVED!!!

    • Haha get married? How can I get married to a girl that doesn't want to drive 40 miles out my direction when I have done it for 10 months straight out her way? Or should I say how can I marry a girl that can't compromise over something like this? Imagine a serious issue? I would be in trouble lol