Why do you think we try to rebound?

I was never in a real relationship before, so I've never known what it was like to go through a breakup. I'd imagined it would be bad, and I thought I had a pretty good idea about what it would be like. I never understood why people got into rebound relationships though. I thought it was just immature and desperate to need to immediately get in another relationship as soon as one ends.

Then I met someone who I thought was perfect for me. Everything about him was what I was looking for. We never got into an official relationship, but it's the closest I've ever been. It turns out, he played me. He was leading me on while pursuing another girl behind my back. Needless to say, I was crushed when I found out. Now, even though I KNOW it's immature and desperate, I can't help but want to rebound. I don't WANT a "rebound" relationship, it's a real one I want, and I know I won't find my "soulmate" in a rebound. The problem is, even if I don't act on this desire (I'm not LOOKING for anyone. I'm not even pursuing the people I already know!) I find myself crushing on everyone.
I am severely attracted to nearly all the guys I know, and have had strange, romantic dreams about some of them. It's like my subconscious is rebounding without my permission!
Why do you suppose this happens? And does anyone else have any stories about it?


Most Helpful Guy

  • MY ex left me for another guy. I felt empty inside, but I knew I would never rebound because I would not use another girl to fulfill my wants and I was not ready for another girl. It has been about 7 months and I am over the void part, but I would be lying if I did not think about being in another relationship. However it is just my sports and I =)

    • I know the feeling :( It happened to me in about August, so it's been quite a while... and I keep getting "over it" but then I realize I'm not over and over. And I'm still attracted to WAY too many guys. It's annoying. lol

    • Haha, I believe we are trying to put that "happiness" we had with our ex with an attractive girl or boy in your case that we see or meet

    • Most likely you being a woman, I personally think there is more of a want to have a man to feel secure. my opinion A lot of guys can just bang girls to feel good. satisfy their sexual desires

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What Guys Said 2

  • It happens because when you break up there is an emotional void. You feel empty inside. So you go for the first person that comes along to fill the emptiness. But it is very rare for these relationships to last

    • that makes sense... I guess I just miss the feeling of someone wanting me so much...

    • Yep. That'll do it.

  • You need to feel validated as an individual. You want yourself to be needed and desired.

    It's a lucky guy that gets you next, in my experience it's an intense crazy train.

    If you're creative, you might try to channel that energy into making something. The best things I've ever made artistically have been out of heartache and rejection.

    Or get drunk and screw a random stranger. I've done both and both have served the same purpose. Yet only my artwork still exists.


What Girls Said 1

  • There's nothing "rebound" about being legitimately attracted to people and desiring a relationship. Rebounds happen when you settle for someone else just for the sake of it while knowing in your heart it's not the guy or girl for you. So you literally just say "Okay I'll date you, solely to fill the void inside of me". What you describe is different and simply wanting to meet someone to fall in love with. That's not a rebound. That's normal. Your mind is simply desiring something that you haven't found yet. This is actually a good thing. It's better to still have that hope and desire than completely losing it and only being attracted to your ex lover or past interest. It's healthy to have the drive to still want to meet other people and to experience love.

    • While I do agree partway, I do just want to find someone I can love, I never would be attracted to the people I have been lately under normal circumstances. Before all the drama happened, there were maybe 2-3 people I liked at a time at the most. I found more people attractive, but now, I can't even function around guys without flirting excessively, and there are probably 6-8 guys at a time that I like. It's not just a normal thing. it's like my mind is trying to distract me and get my mind off of "he who shall not be named" and get me obsessed with someone else. If that doesn't describe involuntary rebound, I'm not sure what does...

    • I'm exactly the same as you. I tend to go through phases where I also feel attracted to many guys and get very flirtatious and seductive. It's a curse. I know what it feels like like more than you realize. My advice is to wait it out and to have fun. I hate saying this cause it's so cliche, but you really do only live once so flirt a bit and enjoy life.

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