Ok so i'm 20 and at university studying law, things haven't gone to well for me regarding exams, i have done well in some exams but not so well in others it's been pretty up and down for me. I struggle to find motivation in regards to what i want to be in the future i am unsure and haven't got my whole life plan of being x y z planned out.
My ex gf on the other hand is exactly like that she has her whole life planned out etc. We were together for a year and she dumped me because she had doubts, doubts about what kind of father and partner i'd be because as ambitious as her, she used to always say if i'm not sucessful enough for her she will leave me. She had doubts about me because i didn't go to the gym, fitness is an important part of her apparently eventhough she rarely goes to the gym and is overweight and i love her the same regardless eventhough she has gained weight. But i am not 100% attractive to her and i need to lose weight to make myself more attractive for her.
We got back together again after a 3 month split, we sworre it would be different but 1 week later she had doubts again and after a month she had dumped me again.
a month later now she wants me back, she says it's my fault we aren't together, i loved her for her i had no expectations of what i wanted from her i excepted her as she was and loved what i saw in front of me. She told me it's my fault because i can't change for her and if i changed we would be together, she said she dumped me because of her doubts and if i truly loved her i would beg and plead with her and make her realise that i will change to get rid of her doubts.
Is this right, i mean she had doubts about how sucessful i will be in the future, how strong my faith was because i didn't go to church she had doubts about that and wanted to break up, because i didn't go to the gym she had doubts, because i didn't take her out and treat her with gifts she had doubts. I mean is it reasonable to ask me to change myself?
- Yes you should change for your partner, whatever it takes you should change and become ambitiousVote A
- No you shouldn't change you are who you are, she should support you not demand you to change for her benefitVote B
- Maybe, depending on what the person wants you to changeVote C