Divorce, Lies, Cheating, All the Makings of a Movie..?

Where to begin..

Been separated a few months from my ex-wife and things are a mess. We broke up over me not wanting to have kids. It's complicated, we tried and she had problems and I decided we should stop trying to have them. We were together about 8 years between dating and marriage. Despite our breakup, we started having sex again recently while going through our divorce (not final).

Going through the last few months I have developed feelings for another woman. I've expressed them to my friend, they're mutual, and we have started dating and having sex. While this was happening I discovered my ex-wife was having an affair during our marriage. I had suspected it, and later found evidence (lingerie I never saw before was bought at a time we were fighting and she was working late constantly). I confronted her and she admitted she bought it for another man, but claims she couldn't bring herself to go through with the affair. She said it was more an elaborate fantasy in her head, and she ended it before it got real. The lingerie was still in its plastic bag under our bed.

I think it's easy to say we should both move on. Thing is, my ex-wife and I have been getting closer and closer over the last month. This is going to sound terrible, but I want both women in my life. I am in love with my gf and still love my ex. My ex-wife knows I'm having sex with someone else and she's not jealous at all. I felt horrible and didn't want to hurt either of them, so I was honest about it. I told my new gf that I hooked up with my ex and she was upset but wants to be with me. The new gf said she would prefer we go to being friends with benefits until my divorce is finalized or I reconcile with my ex. They both know about each other now, both still want to be with me.

FML.. What do I do now?


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What Girls Said 1

  • You are getting a divorce for a reason. Move on

    • This is the simplest and best answer. Two girls at once, to quote eco-talk, is an "unsustainable resource." Sooner or later one or the other will demand you pick. Picking the GF is the most sensible course of action at this point.

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