Why is my ex coming in and out of my life?

I've been separated from my wife for months and we are working toward a divorce. We hooked up once after we split but we decided it was best not to anymore. Since then our communication is real limited.

I'm scheduled to have outpatient surgery on my shoulder tomorrow (sports injury), and she just called me out of the blue about it. She asked if I was going to take my brother or my friends and I said no, and then she asked if I wanted her to go. I was confused. I said whatever she wanted to do. She said she will pick me up tomorrow and wants to be there.

She's not the warm and fuzzy type, she's a bit cold and distant emotionally normally so this is real unlike her. Is letting her go a mistake - does she want me back now?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Who initiated the divorce? Are the problems too bad that they can't be worked on, possibly in therapy? A good woman (or in my case, a man) is HARD to find. She is possibly regretting the separation. How long were you together? She may be missing her best friend. Idk...I hope it all works out.

    • We were together about 12 years including dating and marriage. Lots of issues and we never went into therapy because neither of us really believe in it. I don't know if you would consider her a good woman. I love her, and that sucks to say actually. She is very manipulative, she's also gorgeous and that's her currency in life. She has lied, cheated, etc. I think she's scared to move on and she has said I am the best thing that ever happened to her. She stayed with me all day, went to my surgery and met with my doctors, etc. She did try to take care of me. This is completely different than how she has been during our marriage, but I am not convinced she can really change. It sucks, because now I'm really guarded and cold around her - like how she treated me for so long.

    • Well...that is a long time. She is definitely missing you. Since you're asking the question, you obviously still love her...I would try therapy...if that doesn't help, at least then you can say you tried and didn't give up without a fight. My ex refused to go to therapy...I truly think it could have helped us. We were on and off for 11 years, so I feel your pain. Please check out my latest question. I'd love to hear your opinion. Thanks!!

    • Well, you were right. She is regretting our separation. We talked last night and she came by to check on me. She rubbed my back and I asked her why she was coming over. She said she's not going to beg me to take her back but she's trying to be a better person and loves me. I told her nothing has really changed, I love her but we still have serious problems. However, we agreed to go out to dinner next week and talk about things. She was happy with that. You were right on the money with how she was feeling. Tkx.

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What Girls Said 3

  • She probably doesn't quite know how to move on. You're what is familiar to her and she's holding on to what she's comfortable with.

  • She feels bad and wants to be there for you. Don't read much into it.

  • Maybe she feels that she still needs to take care of you


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