Why can't he let me be happy? Someone please tell me what I should do?

I'm trying my best to move on, forget him. But it's so hard. He never wanted to break up with me in the first place but he says he only did it due to both of us going to different universities this coming September. He told me he would have NEVER broken up with me if it wasn't for this situation, but he also said he can't be friends with me? I just don't understand how can someone who said they're IN LOVE with you, suddenly let you go... He was always more into me than him, and then I let myself open up to him and started liking him back the same. I miss him every single day, I see him in all my classes at college and my heart breaks and I cry every night. I love and miss him with all my heart and he was also my 'first' as I was to him too. How can he forget all the things we spoke about? I don't know what to do or how to move on:'( I have asked to see him one last time before I go away on holiday in the summer because after June, I won't be seeing him, ever and that's heart breaking and I want to go away on good terms knowing what we had was great. I'm not sure how he's feeling and he said that he will 'let me know' and he's not got back to me yet, I feel hopeless and distraught. He told me I meant his everything. Why can't he be my friend? We've been broken up for nearly 2 months now, and I tried getting him back but nothing worked because he said he can't do long distance, he told me that it's nothing else that triggered his decision but that and nothing is my fault. If I meant 'his world' why would he let me go?:'( Please someone help me :( I seriously want happiness back.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • A man who truly loves you... from the deepest of his heart... will always make plans that accommodate both of you together. there are only few times where one's love is in direct conflict of his future or the significant other future... and there should be always ways to compromise. Love is so rare... but good news is: you still young
    Probably he thinks he is too young to settle for now. He did like you a lot at some point... but he likes the wide open opportunities outside more. you should limit communication with him. you would start to forget him when he leaves... you will let go... it is not going to be easy... so feel free to express all your emotions, let it all go out
    Hopefully once he leaves things will be much easier

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    • Thank you so much, your words are wise and helpful. I guess right now I seriously want him back, but I'll be SO happy the day I move away to university as does he. Thing is, after all the coldness I've got from him, after the break up etc, I still am SO INFATUATED in him and I care the same, no matter how much I get rejected back. It's a shame and shitty time for me. I feel like I can't do any better.

    • I just feel as if he DOESN'T care one bit, doesn't see how much I am willing and how much I care:'(

    • reciprocation is very important... a guy could chase a girl that is not interested and will be labeled creepy. a girl would throw herself at someone who is indifferent would be labeled needy, clingy. In both cases: One person truly cares and the other pretty much does not give a crap. He saw how much you care... but your care will not be perceived as care but rather as "weakness". ALLOW yourself to be weak... forgive yourself... because the moment he will walk away... you will remember how he did not care. you gave it your best shot...
      I am sure you will do better... just have faith :).. there is no such thing as "the one" ... there are "Ones" you just have to find them

Most Helpful Girl

  • He's letting you go because he feels he has to‚Ķthat he won't be able to deal with a long distance relationship. When I break up/move on from someone, I have to cut ties... it's easier for me that way. It's selfish, I know, but he's like not able to be friends with you without opening himself up to more hurt.

    Have you talked to him about it since? Is he absolutely set on moving on and not willing to do a long distance relationship?

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    • He is set, he just can't do it he said. He acts cold towards me now whenever I have tried to speak to him and it breaks my heart. I asked him why and he said it'll be easier to just be cold to me than anything because he knows I can't move on:'( I'm so heart broken. I should have never let him have me.

    • I know it's hard :/ But sometimes it's easier to just cut ties than keep contact and hang onto false hope

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What Guys Said 3

  • That's a bunch of bullshit. Going to different universites has nothing to do with anything. It sounds he jumped on the first excuse he could think of. What a douche. When people give me shitty excuses like that, I just go " oh ok so you're cheating on me and are too much of a douche to tell me." LOL.

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  • Yo' man is a buttcheek.

    I'm sorry. What I mean is "He loves you so very much. He's just also incredibly willing to selfishly prevail with nonsense about how he doesn't want this or that but then turns around and enforces the things he doesn't want. It's relatively easy to see that, even if he is correct about his own nature, the idea of having to endure anything with anyone is so far removed from him that he cannot seem to bear even the slightest burden. He's also good at sweet talking and dragging things out because he must have wanted to major in Drama but got turned down for being an assclown."

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  • I'm in a long distance relationship with my gf that's been going for almost three years and is still as strong as it was the day it started, the fact he broke up because of moving to different universities is bullshit. MAYBE, just maybe, he wasn't as committed to the relationship as you thought he was. If that's the case, is it really worth holding on to all those feelings. The relationship ended, whether it's because of distance problems or otherwise. The relationship didn't have to be stretched that far for him to end it, so if there much point feeling bad about losing him. There are many other guys out there who would go above and beyond this level to maintain a relationship, if you keep relying on events that have happened to get your happiness, it will never work. The only way to find happiness again? Move forward.But you will never truly move forward until you learn to let go.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Erase his number and social media profiles. Let him go. If he misses you, he WILL try to reach you again, and maybe you can have a long distance relationship (if that's what you really want)... You clearly can't be friends because you love each other. Is one thing or the other.

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  • Go out with your friends. Pick up a hobby. Keep yourself busy

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    • I've tried to, but at the end of every night, I just think of him, when I'm speaking to other guys I feel guilty for speaking to them and it just hurts in general, so bad. Thank you though.

    • Ok so u aren't ready to talk to other guys yet just take it slow and something that really helped me was writing letters to him in a journal of course dont send them but ot will help u get ur feelings out

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