Am I a bad person for refusing an Ex who let themselves go?

I was engaged a few years ago. Loved the woman to death. But she left me. 7 years later she comes back trying to patch things up. 6 years of partying, 6 years of her sleeping around. She put on a good 40+ pounds as well.

I turned her down because honestly those years we could have spent building a relationship. Yet she decided to hand herself out to everyone else and party.

Now she comes back and wants to hand me the left overs now she's out of shape and been around the block enough times to confuse NASCAR fans into thinking she is the indie 500.

And before you judge, Im in better shape than I was before.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you're sole reason for ending the relationship was due to her weight gain then yes, I would totally call you an asshole. But it sounds like the relationship primarily ended because she left you so that she could shamelessly appreciate the single life and that's TACKY. That was wrong on her part to abandon a good situation where her man loved her to death so that she could go party and experience sex with other men then she went back to you, expecting you to hold out for her after all this time. Correct? That's low down dirty and not cool at all. That alone is enough justification for you to not want to be with her ever again.

    But yes, it is superficial and shallow for you if you think that her weight should be a deciding factor. It means that your bond wasn't all that strong because if it was then you would be willing to work with her through her weight gain. Nonetheless, seems like an unhealthy situation and I think it would be best for you to get out of it and move forward with your life.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • Obviously you can't read? I Said She left me 6 years ago to go out and fucking part and fuck around. then comes back to me wanting to fix things after she's become a fat loser.

      Yeah im shallow because I should accept a woman who left me because she was in shape and got attention and now she's fat and miserable I should give her my future.

    • * Party and fuck around

    • It's obvious that I know how to read but if you're going to just be defensive and have a nasty ass attitude when I clearly tried to help then you can just figure the shit out on your own. Goodbye.

Most Helpful Guy

  • what da fawk..a slotz like dat ain't coming bak in ma life no more! Were done! She can go sux sum more pickle elsewhere. Mine aren't welcome for her.

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What Girls Said 11

  • No, you are not wrong, you should not be anyone's "back up plan" which it sounds like she's using you as since she's gone through everyone else. You should expect her to give you her best.

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  • You're not a bad person.
    I would have done the same thing.
    People grow apart when they're not together and it should be no surprise that you're both leading very different lives now.

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  • No. There is nothing wrong with that at all. I would have probably done the same thing. That's kind of funny though.

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  • no one should be expected to have sex with anyone. but are you shallow for judging others based on weight? yeah.

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  • Well I think if it was her physical appearance alone, yes that would be a little rude. I personally couldn't say its "wrong" because I personally believe if one takes care of themselves its natural to expect that from a partner. We want someone we have things in common with and there obviously had to be physical attraction in a relationship.

    Anyway I think the fact that she chose to leave and do whatever she felt she needed to do was reason enough. If you aren't feelin' it you should't feel obligated to take her now when she's ready to have you. No one deserves that. She should of chose you first.

    You're not a bad person.

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  • Not sure why she left you, but no you're not a bad person. More like "wise". You'd probably be repeating history.

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  • Nope.Good for you for having standards.

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  • No you're not a bad person. Follow your feelings!

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  • Taking back someone who left you never seems like a good move - even if she's been hot.

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  • Your not a bad person - she left you to party around and sleep around and if she was hot she would still be doing the same thing instead of going out with you.

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  • You moved on. That's understandable

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What Guys Said 0

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