Why did my ex want to see me when drunk but change his mind the next day?

My ex and I ended things a while ago but the other night we started texting again because we both had been drinking (we backslid) and it led to an hour long phone conversation where he said he had feelings for me and that he respected me and that the last two years happened because of that and that he's never had this kind of relationship with anyone before and blah blah blah. He said he wanted to try be friends again but then we realized neither of us wanted that... He's moving in a week and he wanted me to come over but it was late so we made tentative plans to see each other before he left. The next day, my friends told me I shouldn't see him, that it would just make it too hard. I was prepared to just not text him or anything but then he texted me saying "yeah. I was a bit tipsy last night, hence my response. Best we don't meet up though. We laid this to rest a while ago, let's leave it there." I don't want to be lectured on how it's over and I just need to move on...I know that but for my own peace of mind, I want to know if he did want to see me but ultimately knows it's just not a good idea or if he really didn't and he was just drunk.


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What Guys Said 2

  • The short version is that people do and say things when they are drunk that they normally wouldn't when sober. I think his sober response is very mature to be honest and a good idea. It's always baffling to try and understand people's drunk behaviors.

  • 1. They say when one is drunk or tipsy people talk the truth.
    2. Fact is they lose inhibitions and control where they say things w/o thinking i.e. emotionally
    3. Decision to separate doesn't necessarily come from getting over each other or dislike, it at times comes from certain logical and rational decisions that arise out of observation & experience
    4. In your case too it must have been as in point 3 above
    5. However, as described in point 2 when you guys got drunk / were tipsy what's described in point 2 happened and when sober point 3 came back :)

    You MUST move on :)

    Women do tend to get more emotional towards what they want or like / love hence the tendency to hold on to every word that is said in such cases immaterial of situation / condition at that time :) this is exactly what probably prompts you to ask this question here :)

    Move on :) & good luck :)

    • So you do think he did want to seee but that he made the rational decision that it was best for us not to?

      And I know, once I process all of it and accept that it's over I will move on. It was a two year thing, so it's not easy to just let it go. Thanks for your answer :)

    • When one person decides to leave in a relationship and he/she is accused of thinking only of self, fact is a vehicle can't move forward with one damaged wheel hence, the decision is for good of both :) Yes what you say is true :)

      I realize how it is :) :) good luck to you & may you find what you look for even if not in the same individual :)

      Answering was, is and always will be my pleasure :) I thank you young lady for your trust in GAGers and discussing such a sensitive topic with us :)

      Good luck & god speed :)

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