I messed up with my girlfriend?

Hi there
I am in a quandary, i have/had (not sure) the most amazing girlfriend, understanding and loving but hot headed and with a sharp tongue. that said i love everything about her.
We shared everything about who we are, were and where we had come from in our previous relationships.
For the record, i have 2 kids from 2 previous marriages and am a lot older than her, she has never been married and has no kids.
As i said we shared everything, except i didn't tell her about something that is very personal and does affect our sex life, erectile dysfunction and the pills i take to help.She found out is the worst possible way and i had to come clean but did tell all and she has since found out all.
because of this she now doesn't trust me, she had problems with trust before, but now everything i say seems a lie.
What to do? any advice, we are on the verge of breaking up.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's the lying. You probably put her in a state of confusion. You didn't trust her to be honest.
    Men often think it's the secret they keep its why a women is upset it's not. It's how you just lied, the measures you've taken to deceive. And maybe the situation she went through with you to find out it was all a lie.
    Normally we look at things like you do, just like the guy said" if she upset about that then just drop her" we view things that way to. If the lie was so miniscule then why lie about it!. Try apologizing for the lie first, the lack of trust you clearly showed in your relationship to begin with. Then go from there.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • She's breaking up over the ED and covering up (what could be considered a superficial reason) by lying - that it's YOUR lying as the cause to make YOU the bad guy, not her. DUH

    She is not vested in your life/children
    She wanted all your secrets & assets on the table to consider worth taking in this deal
    She claims to have told everything - I'll best dollars to donuts a detective would prove this very false

    You are about to escape a gold digger version, so don't fight it, begin today to shop elsewhere for BOTH a GF & a NEW DOC

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What Girls Said 5

  • It sounds a bit pathetic that she's upset about something like that. I mean it's your personal problem and something that's considered embarrassing, she shouldn't be upset with you. She should be ensuring you that it doesn't matter to her.

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  • she should be understanding u didn't do anything wrong

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  • Maybe she is just using that as an excuse, to not being with you anymore

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  • I understand... (in my case, I AM the loving girlfriend with the sharp tongue)... I also had trust issues in the past, and they definitely affected my current relationship, but I LOVE him. And he has worked HARD to gain my trust back... Trust is important... but LOVE is more important. If you love her, do NOT let her go. Trust can be built again, and again, and again. It is very hard, but if you love each other, you can do it. Good luck. Don't let her go.

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  • There are worse things to lie about, I think, but it's mostly likely the fact that you covered up something (that you share together, nonetheless) that hurt her. She's also probably hurt that you felt you couldn't tell her. I don't personally think that's cause for her to lose all trust in you, but that's just me.

    Also, I can understand you wanted to conceal that, but it's nothing to be ashamed of. ED happens. You shouldn't be afraid to disclose it in the future.

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What Guys Said 1

  • You go to her and apologize. I get that she feels betrayed, but she should also be able to be sympathetic to your desire to keep this as a hidden issue. In the end, it's up to her to decide whether to keep going or not. If she doesn't - you hopefully learned the lesson to stop being secretive around people you supposedly love.

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