Why do I miss my abusive ex so much and so desperate to have him back?

i am 20, he was 22, i met him back in November 2012 and when i first met him everything was perfect, he was perfect, he treat me like a queen, he would send me big texts everyday when i never seen him making a really big effort.

he seen me four times a week and he really took care of me, he made me food all the time, took me on holiday and paid for it, paid for meals,

he was loyal to me, he would not go out with his friends to be with me instead. when i never text him back he would get worried and whenever i got upset he gave me cuddles and comforted me and made me feel so safe, it makes me cry writing this because i miss it so much.

he was in love with me and i was in love with him nothing could tear us apart, i thought i would be with him forever, i never wanted anyone else :( he got me nice presents for Valentine's day and my birthday and made me feel like a princess :(

small things which i overlooked happened while he treat me so good, he would make mean comments if i dressed up for him if we went out and be upset because it made him feel not good enough, and hed be in a bad mood and give me silent treatment when we went out and made me cry in public because i was upset as he was acting so cold on a date and punishing me. this happened many times
he used to be really mean to me when he was drunk and call me horrible names, hed say sorry the next day but he never felt no guilt.
when i said or did something wrong he used to lash out at me and call me thick and raise
his voice at me.
it got worse and he used to to "split up" with me and get back together the next day
saying he didn't mean it , and he done this about 10 times over the past 7 months each time the split was longer, it drained me and hurt me so much made me feel worthless how he could leave me and change his mind, this time its been a whole month and despite what he did i miss him with all my heart
Why do I miss my abusive ex so much and so desperate to have him back?
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