Why do guys break up with women when the relationship is going well?

My boyfriend of 6 months recently broke up with me out of the blue. He had been coming on strong the last two months and I was thrilled (he is 50, I am 38, we are not kids here, fyi).I am his first relationship since his divorce 1 1/2 years ago. He is a struggling artist and living in NYC (gave up corporate life and a a cushy lifestyle to focus on his art). The last time we saw each other, I brought him to the town I grew up in, a very affluent town in CT. We passed by my Dads house and he saw his Mercedes in the driveway. After that, he didn't call me for a week and when he did, he broke up with me, saying he wasn't "feeling it" and that our lifestyles were very different. I was shocked. I have a few ideas here but any thoughts?


Most Helpful Guy

  • It sounds like he was feeling inferior due to his financial situation.He knows what having money feels like, but the corp world is just so brutal, sometimes it is not worth it.I would guess he has no plans to return to that life and feels that he could not live up to your expectations.You may have said something unconsciously during the trip like you wish that you had a house like that/wanted to live in a posh neighborhood, etc.Tell him you love him for who he is, not what he has.

    • Thank you, that is exactly what I think. I didn't say anything about wanting a big house or anything but I told him that a male friend of mine who is a trust fund kid was going to hire me to work at one of his companies since I am unemployed. That was probably it. Plus I have a 12 year old son (he had no kids) and in the end, this was just not the life he wanted.

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What Guys Said 4

  • maybe he got scared that it was going too well. as in, he's never had a relationship go well and didn't know how to handle it. that could be one option. but, you never really know, you can only move on

  • He was faking it and it wasn't going well on his end for some reason.

    • I don't think he was faking it - he was really into it for a while. He lives a very carefree, fly by the seat of your pants kind of life. I think he wanted it to work and tried but knew we lived different lives. The trip to CT sealed the deal...

    • At some point, he decided there was a deal breaker and it probably took him a bit of time to be sure and then to make the break. Sorry it didn't work out. :-(

  • Might have found another female interest and thought it was better to end it than cheat on you

    • I asked him and he said that he honestly did not. Who knows but he is a very brutally honest person, to the point of being cold, so I think he would have told me. But like I said, who really knows...

    • I have always told my girlfriends if they are ever in the situation to cheat on me they better call me and tell me we are done before going through with it.

      Not sure then? Good sex?

    • Sex was amazing, he said he definitely couldn't complain about that. He said I was cool and fun and beautiful...but that for whatever reason he wasn't feeling it for the past two weeks. Plus he lives in a dirty studio with a pullout futon - I am the only girl whose agreed to stay there. I don't know how he thinks he's going to get laid living like that! Lol

  • Maybe it is afraid of being hurt, and figures it's only a matter of time before you leave him since he doesn't feel he measures up. So he decided to get out, before he was emotionally invested any deeper than he already was.

    • Yes I agree. We do live different lives and I think he was trying to make it work but realized in the end it wasn't right. It started to become real and it just didn't fit into his life.

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