Can't fall in love with perfect girl because of ex?

I have been dating the most perfect girl ever. She is smart, old enough for me, a college graduate, looks like a model, funny, kind, comes from a good family...all my friends and family like her.

But, I am finding it hard to fall in love with her cause for some stupid reason I am in love with my ex. My ex was evil, she cheated on me when I was away taking care of my dying brother and got pregnant with her abusive, loser, ex. They aren't even together anymore.

Every time I see my ex, I fall in love again even though she hurt me time and time again. She is the opposite of the current gf...she is stupid, puts me down, cheats (at the worst times), leaves me in a hole...

I NEED to get over the ex. This new girl is perfect. But when we have sex I am thinking about my ex, when I fall asleep I am wishing I was with my ex...

What can I do to get over this? This girl I am with now is leaving for school in 2 months so its going to end then no need to break her heart now. But I need to be able to fall in love again with other people...

Thanks for the advice


Most Helpful Girl

  • I was in a similar situation. My ex was a coward & jerk, but I still felt like I was stuck in love with him...

    First, you should relax & stop dating for a while, & focus more time on yourself. Try to participate in more sports, parties, family occasions, etc. This will help you realize that you can live without your ex... Second, stop fantasizing about the good side of you & your ex's relationship, & focus on the bad side of what she's done to you. You need to realize you deserve more than what she offered, & that you can find someone else who you will be loyal, grateful, & loving to you.

    I've been made insecure, lost, & depressed by my ex, but now I'm over his little mind tricks. Thank god.

    • Thanks, I am getting there. Its so absurd isn't it? We have tons of others chasing us around and we keep obsessing over those who don't care for us...I wonder why that is a human trait.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I honestly don't see how it's possible to love a girl that puts you down. When I like a girl, sometimes it's just because of the fact that she likes me back. I love being in love. But I would never like a girl that insults me and stuff, especially when there's an even more attractive girl that likes me.

    • hmm, thats a great point. I didn't think about it that way.

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What Girls Said 7

  • A lot of guys RUSH to the next girl after a break-up - you tried to move on too soon. What can you learn from this?

    I think that it takes TIME to heal, time to know for sure you're DONE with an ex, and all guys do is add fuel to fire, hurt themselves, the ex, AND the new person when they rush instead of processing the break-up.

    Your ex sounds like a rotten bitch, sorry to be so blunt.

    But I think no matter how much it hurts, it's best to leave her in the past.

  • Its gonna take time and patients to get over her it seems like the worst relationships are the ones we remember the most the means exs are the ones we crave attention from keep u r self busy with family and friends stay busy with ur new girlfriend try to stay distracted

  • Wow if you was my brother i would beat the shit out that girl for breaking your heart...
    damn you really love this girl

  • You don't have self respect or self worth hence why you let that ex treat you that way or why you allow yourself to keep loving her..

    How long have you been dating this new girl?

    • Yeah, I know. You are right, I should be ignoring the heck out of the ex...shes a whacko. New girl...since March.

    • do you still have contact with you ex? if you do you need to cut ties with that ex. It is gonna be painful but it's either go through some pain for a while or let your ex always get in the way for life while you miss out on opportunities like this to be with amazing girls.

  • Give it time..its all about time don't push away this girl she sounds amazing. In time you'll fall for her..I know I've been there done that.

    • thanks :-) thats what I am going for...I know she's I am just being a good guy with her for now...

  • this breaks my heart just reading it...=[ you have a wonderful girl by your side NOW...u should be so lucky and embrace her, may be u got into a new relationship too soon, u should have remained single instead of rebounding... i dont know why u think u love the ex, she cheated on u and was cheated on herself...thats not true love. if u can't fathom to understand that and crave to be with this new lovely girl you're with, then none of us can help u. u have to see inner beauty.

    • are right. Well, I am giving it some time with this new chick cause I broke her heart a year ago during a break with my horrible ex...and then promised I wouldn't this time around. I am happy when I am with her, hoping time will make me forget the ex and focus on her...for now its a good learning relationship - seeing what a healthy one feels like!

    • u shouldn't make it all about you, hoping she will make u forget the ex, instead love should be about giving, u shouldn't expect anything in return, u should make this new girl feel like the most special girl in the whole world. it should be genuine. u can't force love.

  • You have no self worth. Get some.

    • Thanks for the cheer up

    • Show All
    • Cheer up hun its gonna be ok

    • Such a gentleman :)

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