I've been with who now is my ex boyfriend for 4 years. He was my everything & thought I had found my one. We got into a really heated argument over the weekend where he told me he was not looking forward to moving in with me, I don't surprise him, I have no drive, I don't try to make an effort anymore, & he's unsure of what the future holds for us. This devastated me & I felt like I was the biggest piece of shit girlfriend there was. I did everything I possibly could do to make him happy. I was supportive, I took care of him when he needed me, I was helpful, I was ALWAYS there for him, I cooked, cleaned, rarely went out with my friends. There was a point when his work hours were cut and I told him I'd help him with his bills. I couldn't understand what he meant by everything he said. I have a stable job, I'm independent, I can take care of myself, I have a big heart, & have been completely selfless in the relationship.I put him on a pedestal and treated him like a king. Lately he's been having family problems and turning to drinking to ease the pain. He blamed me & told me I didn't love him enough to take away the drink from his hand. This crushed me & I started to believe I am scum & not worthy. He broke up with me yesterday & I was upset but as the seconds, minutes, hours went on, I began to think & realized that I think I gave up on our relationship a while back, I just didn't want to accept it. He was the first person I pictured my life with & I didn't want to loose that. I was slowly getting tired of him being unsure with me. This isn't the first time he's broken up with with the same reason- he always tells me he can't be a boyfriend to me now because of what he's dealing with. I want security in the relationship & I was looking for it in someone who has shown me he cannot provide it b/c he does not know what he wants. He said he's sorry but how many times can a person be sorry & continues to end the relationship with someone they claimed was the one for them?
Is t weird that I don't feel much of anything after a break up?
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You should be glad damn that all sounds so draining... but i think it's normal not to feel anything after a break up because it's pointless to get all down over a relationship that was doomed to fail. I don't think you guys were even in love, maybe in love with idea of each other and that's about it..
Maybe you two can be friends or something but you definitely should not get back together again b.c. you're just going to break up again.
He needs to figure out what he wants (clearly not you) and you need to find a man who loves you and who can provide the security you need. Just be friends.0
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