Perspective needed on a rough, sudden breakup?

I was seeing a guy I was very much in love with. We seemed great together, and he seemed smitten. Everything seemed to point to it being serious: flowers at work, met his family after the 4th date, visited his dad in the hospital with him post-op, spent Thanksgiving with his family, etc. We applied to graduate programs last fall (I for my Ph.D. and he his DPT) and he had said if I got in and he didn't he'd move (all my schools had excellent DPT programs- my program is less common) Then I discovered, accidentally, his deep dark secret (I can't say what but it happened before he met me, and it was bad). Horrified, I confronted him. He insisted he'd kept it a secret because he didn't want to lose me and just knew I'd walk if I found out. Many tears and a hard conversation later, I told him I loved him and wanted to stand by him because I believed he was a better man now. I then did just that, supporting him through a grueling semester (heavy biology course load) and 4 different productions he was in (he is a dancer). He seemed a bit withdrawn but I assumed it was the stress. Then, I got my first interview offer from a Ph.D. program. I was ecstatic. He didn't react much, and had been acting strangely the past few days, so that night I asked him what was wrong, and the next thing I knew he was saying he didn't love me. The next day he got his things and I haven't spoken to him since. I still hurt so much because I don't understand. he insisted it wasn't another woman, and that I was lovely and hadn't done anything wrong but he just "didn't see us going any farther". Now, I have a hard time trusting when a guy seems to like me because he seemed crazy about me and totally bailed. I tell myself I'm a good partner and it was his loss, but I still feel so small when I remember. I just need some perspective on his behavior and this situation. Thanks everyone.


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  • That's a rough one, you're just going to have to ride it out unfortunately. Stay busy, and forget him.


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