The girl I'm in love with doesn't want to be my girlfriend and I'm devastated , whats next what should I do?

its kind of an odd situation were friends and I have known her for the last couple of years and really fell for her , we never formally dated but hung out and partied together a lot so I became attached to her , I always wanted her to be my serious girlfriend and get in a real relationship with her and eventually get married but things never really materialised but we stayed friends after a period apart last year.

so anyways now she is back home from college and I've seen her several times and we've talked and everything seemed really good , we even sat rate beside each other in public at a local pub and talked for over an hour and I gave her a ride home in my new car , maybe that gave me some false hope that we'd actually get back together this summer.

but things got weird as there was some other guys interested in her and they didn't like me much at all , some local douche bags from bars and such. but it turns out there is even another guy in the picture she's known for a while and there sort of dating but he works out west so she doesn't like see him much. I saw them together at bar last night and she was wearing very revealing clothes that she normally wouldn't wear and I talked to them , its clear there having sex. it doesn't bother me that much that she is having sex with another guy it hurts me more that she wouldn't have sex with me , that I wasn't worthy of her time even though its clear I'm totally into her yet this guy who is like never around gets to have sex with her when he randomly decided to come back home.

I don't know what else to think I'm just feeling totally devastated about her , I know I could find another girl like her but I really had a thing for her and was totally in love with her and if she had said she'd be my gf I would of been the happiest guy in the world

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Most Helpful Girl

  • As hurt and as 'devastated' as you are, you don't seem to be the type who will have a problem finding someone who deserves the kind of heart you have to give.
    I know it's easy from my end to tell you to 'move on,' but for now, chalk it up as one of life's little love lorn experiences, lick your wounds, and when you're ready to forgive And forget, go out into the world again and search for someone who isn't this fickle pickle, and is ready for 'one guy in the picture' And---Be the happiest girl in the world.
    Good luck.xx

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Man, you've got to cut off contact with her. Tell her you're going to do that and that you can't take it anymore so that there's no going back. I've seen this happen way too many times, I've been through it myself, and that is the best thing to do.

    You'll feel devastated for a long while, but it's certainly better than falsely hoping that anything will happen for years when deep down inside, you know your chances are null.

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    • it will be impossible to cut off contact for the time being , she and her gf live like rate near me. her gf is like my " girl next door " and we all go to the same bars/clubs in town. I don't disagree it might be best to not have contact with her , I also think she is genuinely interested in being friends and partying with me , for some reason she just doesn't want to date me

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    • I don't disagree to avoid her would help me move on it just might not be possible to make things more bizarre her gf is genuinely single and super hot and she is extremely jealous of all the attention I give her friend, last night when I found out about this guy she was standing there beside me all upset that I was upset about her friends new relationship , the stuiped thing I could of likely dated the other girl but went after one who didn't want to date me in the end

    • That's how it works unfortunately...

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What Girls Said 1

  • If she doesn't like you, she just doesn't like you. It's up to her to decide who she does and does not want to have sex with. That attitude of thinking you deserve to receive sex from her makes me think you're the douchebag here.

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    • she does like me , we do talk and hang out in person , I do feel there is a genuine friendship here or we wouldn't still be talking to each other. I never felt she should of been forced to have sex with me , more I just really wanted to have sex with her , she just always drove me really nuts and my level of attraction to her was very extremely and much more than other girls , and I think she would of enjoyed having sex with me if we had ever done that together , she missed out of some good times we could of had

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