A breakup story you must read

My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday. We still love each other a lot, but lately I've been acting insecure and I was really whiny because the urge to make her happy became a pain in the ass as it was more about proving myself that I'm worthy to have such a perfect girl than about actually caring about her. I don't have much self-confidence and she's the best looking and sweetest girl I've ever met. We were friends for 4 years or so (btw I always wanted to be her boyfriend) then we got really close and fell in love in November. We were together for 6 months. I've got some personality issues, like being unable to think before I speak when I'm mad and so on.. She fed up with my behavior once but I showed her that I'm still as loving and nice as I was when we got together. Everything was great for 2 months then she dumped me again yesterday.. she told me that she no longer feels that "thing" and that she needs a man she can rely on. Her father left her with her unmanly, whiny older brother and her mom, so she had to rely on herself. She told me that lately she felt the same on my side and she's falling out of love. Yesterday night she arrived from work and we talked on facebook. It wasn't sloppy or anything, it was actually fun. I told her that I miss her but she didn't care about it, so we just kept on messaging. Then she went to bed and sent me a text message saying she misses me. I wrote back that I miss her, love her and asked if she felt awful too. She'll probably text me or message me on Facebook in half an hour 'cause that's when she's leaving her workplace. All we know is that she wants to stay in touch and that she misses me and surely loves me still. What should I do? Should I give her some time while maintaining a friendly contact? I really want her back. I don't believe in the no contact rule or any mind games like that. I want to be honest with her..

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Most Helpful Girl

  • im going through this with my man. how you describe yourself, reminds me of him. i still love him and i'd love to be with him. but i refuse to be with someone that keeps disappointing me & he's really insecure and gets jealous easily. when he gets jealous or upset he ignores me. but anyways, if she's worth it change your attitude and how you handle things. if not move on & don't keep that "friendly" relationship, you need space to get over someone.

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    • Thank you! :) I still have the question that if she doesn't want to be with me, why did she wrote that text last night? She's not the kind of girl who would write such things to make me feel better. She's always honest with me.

    • sense i don't know exactly what was said i can't say why she did that, especially because i am not her. maybe she just needed some closure, to wrap things up in a friendly way. it could of been she missed you, she just couldn't say it because she's just confused at the moment. maybe you guys just need a break from eachother. me & my boyfriend just worked things out after we were on a break for about a month, i told him exactly how i felt and what he & i need to work on to keep a relationship. i hope the best for you guys, even if it turns out to be you never talk again just remember everything happens for a reason.

    • If you're curious then I know it's a lot to read but look up the conversation I've had with the woman above. I'm interested in your opinion, too. :)

Most Helpful Guy

  • You should learn the lesson she's teaching you. Acting insecure and being a pain in the ass ruined your relationship. Learn how to not be an insecure pain in the ass. Maybe she'll come back, but I doubt it.

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    • Thanks :) But then why did she send me that text last night? If she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, wouldn't it be illogical to let me know that she misses me? She's not evil or anything like that at all. She's extremely emotional and she said she never loved anyone as much as she loves me.

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    • You're likely not getting her back. So no contact really just helps you work through the loss of relationship.

    • So you're telling me that even if I become the one she fell in love with or an even better guy, it doesn't matter? I mean she's pretty emotional with me. If you have the time, please read the conversation I've had with a lovely woman up there. All the details are here. It seems like you know much about these things so you'll know what's going on.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Yes...give her some space for a couple days maybe...she may need to process what happened. I don't like the no contact rule either...If you have a lot to say...maybe write it all down in a letter...then contact her and tell her that you want to read it to her in person...apologize...tell her how you are going to try and make a better effort...

    It is extremely important you get rid of your insecurity or at least work at it...my BF was like this at the start of our relationship for almost a year...and I seriously considered breaking up with him because of it...he would text me and say that he is a jerk and I deserve someone better than him, etc, etc...he felt intimidated by me and didn't feel worthy...this is a HUGE turn off...luckily we had many talks about this...and although it still comes out it isn't too bad anymore...I stayed with him despite this flaw because I love him and wanted to work on it...If she feels the same she will...if not then move on but use this as a lesson for your next relationship...good luck

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    • Thank you! :) We talked today and she said that she's sure about her decision but also confused. She also told me that she's feeling miserable because she's missing me and for dumping me. She even said that we shouldn't contact each other for some time because she's hurting that much. I want to get my life together and show her that I can change. I know she gave me a lot of chances but it must work.. no matter how long will it take. I have to get her back. She's everything I need. Am I too desperate? :/

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    • Haha. :D Thanks. I'm having fun at work. Everyone is nice and I'm learning a lot. by the way after 6 days of not talking to each other, she wrote to me on Facebook, asking how do I like my job. She also said I've left a plate over her place and asked if I need it back. I've kept the conversation short because I was in a hurry for a bike trip. Is this a good sign? To me, it seems like she's missing me. That fact that she asked about my job is basically a sign that she cares about me. Should I give this any importance?

    • Oh and I've forgot to tell that I've left that plate at her place like 10 days ago... Why is it so important right now to talk about it?

  • Don't stay in contact with exes. I don't care how long you were friends before or if you still get along. It will only prolong the breakup. Cut off all contact, and move on.

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  • It's over. Let her go.

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  • You both need space. Esp you. You sound very clingy from your post, work on giving her space. If you're continuously in touch even now, you will just push her further away

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What Guys Said 1

  • You're about to travel down a roller coaster of pain.

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