I am in a 11mo relationship that's bring me down, I feel guilty but I've tried everything. What do I do?

I am now 21 and had a history of flirting with a lot of girls but I began work at a new job, and my now girlfriend and I started hanging out, and it was an instant connection. We had fun, went to parties, laughed, we then became official and were each others official significant other etc but after 3mos it began to slow down. I considered this a natural event, but it kept slowing down more and more, to the point where it annoys me and I am not happy anymore. I love this girl with all my heart but she has become depressed and I have tried being supportive but she snaps at me, never wants to do anything. She has began gaining weight, about 30lbs, I politely give subtle hints, like "let's play basketball together, lets workout together" anything and I have tried the direct approach with telling her about how I got out of my depression by working out, but every time it seems like a confrontation and I feel like a jerk. Yesterday was my 21st birthday and my girlfriend was in the same quiet/unhappy mood. It annoyed me so much, I just wanted to have one day where we can have fun and not have the attention on her. I snapped at her and hurt her feelings, I felt horrible and have apologized. She has accepted it but I feel like now she has been always manipulating me to get what she wants, but I still feel love for but I feel that I have no more happiness in my life, and I am starting to think she might be happier without me, and that it would be the final push to help her. But I do want to hurt her, but at this point I think I would be happier alone then with her. Am I jerk? Please help me...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • No. You are not being a jerk. You guys are not a match, at least not now anyway. She is very depressed right now and should seek help. Maybe a relationship isn't for her right now. On the other hand, you need to have fun and do the things that 21 year olds do. You're a pretty good bf to invite her a long to play basketball, because you were actually helping her in a sense. So sweet. But yes, tell her how you feel, see if she feels the same, if so then maybe you guys should just call the whole thing off or go on a break.
    Good Luck. :)

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What Girls Said 2

  • It sounds like neither of you are happy and need to separate.

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  • If you're having these problems after only 11 months of dating, end it. You'll both be happier with other people it sounds like.

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What Guys Said 1

  • no you are not a jerk at all

    it sounds to me like the relationship has simply run its course and you're trying to do the right thing by sticking it out but you're unhappy.

    I think you just need to break up.

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