Technically me and boyfriend of a year didn't break up but we separated and took time off from each other after things got a bit tense between us. He initiated our "getting back together" because he said he was stupid and still loves me and I feel the same.
The only thing I notice is that now he seems careless. He doesn't talk to me as much about his days and his life as he used to. He lives 50 minutes away from me so when we meet up is when I find out about things that happened weeks ago.
The communication is scarce. When I complain about it he says that there is no problem and that I am beautiful and smart but lack self esteem and that he doesn't know how to handle me. Yet when I ask him if he wants to stop seeing me he says no.
How can I not be insecure when I just hear from him every other day? Lousy little texts.
I've stopped texting him. Should I just call it quits too?
Most Helpful Girl
You should match the amount of effort he is investing.
Still be yourself. Don't complain at him not talking or the reasons why.
Just relax and pull back slightly.
Perhaps he has something on his mind that has nothing to do with you?
You could ask him if anything is bothering him... without adding becuase you are being different with me.
Just ask him, have you got something on your mind? and is there anything I can do?
If he says no, then leave it. You could tell him if there ever was then he can talk to you.
If you push him asking over and over why he is like this, whats going on, how does he feel about you. Or trying harder to please him he might pull back. He will start to associate spending time with you with negative feelings.
So I would say stay kind, don't ask too much and just enjoy your time with him.
Make an effort looking nice for him, act confident even if you arnt. But don't go out of your way to please him if he won't do the same for you.
I learnt this the hard way, although of course not everyone is the same.
How were you when you two first met?
What attracted him to you?
I'm sure he didn't think you had esteem issues and liked to talk to you then.
Go with your gut feeling on this, if the reasons for making it work are valid. Ie not because you will miss him or you need him. But becuase you don't feel the relationship has had chance ot take it's course, and you truly believe you can see a future with him. I think it is worth fighting for.
You don't need anyone to be happy or enjoy life, it is just magic to share that with someone you love. Happiness and confidence comes from within you. If you let this out to the surface then he may be drawn to you again. Men arn't always good with other peoples emotions, even though they feel them. They are taught from a young age to be tough, so emotions for them often come out in anger or annoyance.
Again, not true for every one. Good luck xxx1