It's been 4 months and my ex won't move on and won't stop emailing me... I just don't know what to do anymore?

So I dated this guy for 6 months and broke up with him about 4 months ago. I stayed with him longer than I should have because at some point I realized that he was actually a really insecure, depressed, lonely person who had no one else in his life and I knew he'd be completely devastated if I broke up with him. (He definitely pretended to be someone else at first.)

Although really, towards the end, it was clear that neither of us were what the other wanted or needed - he got serious crazy fast and has admitted to the fact that he has really low self esteem and needs a lot of reassurance and affection from a girlfriend... and I'm much more reserved and laidback and need my own space in a relationship - it was a total clash of personalities. This is what I told him was my reason for breaking up with him - that and I wasn't sure that I even wanted to be in a relationship, I just wasn't cut out for it, liked being on my own too much, blah blah blah. I had many, many other reasons but I wanted to cause as little hurt as possible, so I didn't blame him for anything.

The thing is, he was clearly unhappy as well, but he insisted on putting me on a pedestal and blaming himself for absolutely everything. I have spent two entire sleepless nights talking to him about it, and literally dozens upon dozens of emails back and forth. Every once in a while, after one of these rounds of constant emails, he seems to come to terms with it and says he accepts it and will try to move on. But a week later, he's emailing me again, the exact same things as before.

Now he's really depressed, he's mentioned wanting to die a couple of times, and I don't know what to do. To be honest, he was really depressed before I met him (even though he hid it from me for a long time) but obviously I didn't make things any better.

It's a really messed up, toxic situation. Do I respond to his emails, even though I have so, so many times already, and it hasn't helped a bit? Or just ignore it?
Up until recently, I've responded to his emails, tried to help him and talk things out, and tried to stay friends. There's literally nothing left to say. I did convince him to get a dog (thought that would help) and to talk to a doctor (he did).
Nothing helps. He's still miserable. I also tried not responding, and that made him just email me even more (every single day and up to 3 times a day, and from different emails). Don't know what to do. So sick of feeling guilty and terrible...


Most Helpful Guy

  • You aren't responsible for his moods, his sense of well-being or his entertainment. Remain polite, but let him know you're too busy. If you truly feel he's seriously suicidal, tell a member of his family.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm not reading your whole book, so I'll respond to the first thing. Block his emails. You moved on, he will move on eventually. Ignore him.


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What Guys Said 1

  • I had a similar issue, I receive some mails that make me feel uncomfortable so I block her address since I am no longer with her,


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