Should I blame myself for his decision to end the relationship?

I dated a guy for a few months. We had great chemistry and a very real connection. We were not exclusive.

One night he told me how happy the relationship made him, and I said I had feelings for him as well. Suddenly, during the same conversation, he did a complete turnaround and pulled away. I felt insecure and got a little teary. That was the only time I got upset during the entire time we dated. I am very low-maintenance and not clingy.

After that I gave him space for a few weeks, and I thought things were better.

When I saw him again he broke up with me saying he didn't have feelings for me. Up until then, and even during the time I gave him space, he sure acted like he had feelings.

He was practically in tears when he broke up with me and said he wanted to stay in touch. He went through a horrible divorce and I think he may have gotten scared when he developed feelings for me.

I blame myself for having expressed my feelings for him and then getting upset. I thought I had redeemed myself by giving him space, but he broke up with me anyway.

Did my one wrong move, saying I had feelings for him, ruin everything? If I'd kept my mouth shut could things have worked out? I feel so awful that I messed things up. It's like the relationship was never given a chance thanks to me.

Lastly, can a person be so hurt from a past relationship they get scared and shut off any feelings they have for someone new because they fear getting hurt?


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What Guys Said 1

  • You did nothing wrong. Sometimes our feelings lift us up so high that we remember how far of a fall it is. I think he's not ready for closeness, he may not be for a while. He may very well have feelings for you and got cold feet.

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    • Thank-you. Would getting cold feet cause him to tell me he had no feelings even if he really did?

    • It may, he may just be trying to push you away so he won't be hurt. Give him time to come to
      you and if he doesn't move on.

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